With his debut feature, Heathers, director Michael Lehmann created a cult hit that’s still earning new fans more than two decades after its release. Heathers stars Winona Ryder as Veronica, the newest and most reluctant member of her high school’s popular clique, the Heathers (referred to as such because the other three members are all named Heather). After falling in with a rebel boy named (hilariously) JD, (Christian Slater), Veronica decides that maybe it’s time somebody takes the Heathers down a peg, and maybe it should be her and her new beau. Things get out of control and murdery after that. The film sticks with audiences because it’s honest and brutal in its portrayal of the social strata of high school and the level of abuse that rolls downhill from the popular kids to the geeks. And it sure doesn’t turn a blind eye to the melancholy and melodrama that comes along with having teenage hormones. It faces the issue of teenage suicide head on and makes sick jokes about it, and it’s just that brand of nihilism that young people respond to most. Mark Waters’ Mean Girls isn’t quite yet a decade old, but already it seems to have faded away much more than Lehmann’s look at high school life. This is strange, because not only does it deal with many of the same concerns as Heathers, but it also comes from a script that was written by Tina Fey. From her work as the head writer on SNL,

Perhaps the only thing you need to know about Vince Offer’s InAPPropriate Comedy is that (spoiler? can you spoil a film that you sincerely hope no one you’ve ever met sees? beware?) it ends with the reveal that everything that has taken place previously, every deeply unfunny sketch, every ham-fisted attempt at stirring up controversy, every minute of offensive material presenting itself as shocking cultural commentary, has taken place in Lindsay Lohan’s vagina. To be fair, about three minutes or so do take place in Offer’s wraparound storyline (one so nonsensical that it makes me regret ever poking even the tiniest of holes in the wraparound storyline of V/H/S, a film that should be lauded as one of the greatest cinematic achievements of our time in comparison to the wretched tripe that is InAPPropriate Comedy), which features the ShamWow spokesperson/director/writer living in a sewer where he operates some sort of magical iPad that apparently controls sketch comedy in Lindsay Lohan’s nether regions. Offer’s choice to place himself in a La-Z-Boy in an actual sewer is the only wise decision he makes in the entire outing, and it’s still weirdly indicative of the level of humor in InAPPropriate Comedy, which is to say, incredibly stupid and gross and totally convinced that it’s subversive and cool and insightful.

After a fair bit of kerfuffle over its rejection from the SXSW Film Festival, Paul Schrader‘s The Canyons has managed to snag a distribution deal from IFC Films. Deadline Hollywood passes along word that the already-controversial film, penned by Bret Easton Ellis and “starring” porn star James Deen and perennial tabloid fodder Lindsay Lohan, will be getting quite the fancy release from the distributors, including a theatrical bow, a digital release, and a “Special Presentation” at the Film Society of Lincoln Center in New York City sometime this summer. Snark aside, if you’re in Gotham this summer, mark your calendars now, this sounds like it’s going to be the cinematic event of the season. Schrader has described the film as “cinema for the post-theatrical era,” and the project utilized a bevy of crowd-funding techniques to raise both funds and awareness (a campaign we’ve covered here, here, and here) so it is, at the very least, an innovative project that will be interesting to track even on the most basic of financial levels (i.e. is this thing going to make money?). The Film Society of Lincoln Center event will include a chat with Schrader and Kent Jones, Director of Programming of the New York Film Festival, so we’ll keep an eye and ear out for those details to pass along to all our New York Rejects.

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s exactly what it says it is… movie news, after dark. Here is What Happens When You Cast Lindsay Lohan in Your Movie – This great expose from the New York Times Magazine exposes the world of Lindsay Lohan, Bret Eastin Ellis and The Canyons. Poor, poor Paul Schrader.

Movies that spoof a bunch of other movies that already exist became really popular in the late ’90s. So popular that we’re creeping up on 2013 and people are still putting them out, even though none of them have been remotely watchable for as long as anyone can remember. Why won’t the studios stop punishing us with these painfully lazy, painfully unfunny pseudo-movies? Because far be it from those greed vampires in Hollywood to leave the corpse of any genre alone until they’ve drained it completely dry of every last possible dollar. That being said… MTV has posted a new trailer for Scary Movie 5! Despite the current state of the spoof genre, we shouldn’t have any fear about this one, right? Because this isn’t one of those lousy Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer movies that are so lazy they don’t even bother to write jokes—Scary Movie 5 was written by spoof veterans David Zucker and Pat Proft, who have credits on things like Kentucky Fried Movie, The Naked Gun, and Hot Shots, so it should probably at least be decent, shouldn’t it? Well, not from the looks of the trailer.

If you logged on to Twitter at all yesterday evening, you were likely bombarded with tweets about Liz & Dick, a Lifetime Original movie that sucked, not to be confused with Lez & Dick, a Showtime Late Night Skinflick. That totally doesn’t exist. As of now. But I’m writing it. Hell, Lifetime was trending, as was the hashtag #lizanddick. What is less than surprising is how badly the film was received, but what has rustled my jimmies is the breadth of the coverage being devoted to it. Is anyone surprised? Does anyone care? Or is this just another chance to ride the easy train?

“Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor.” That will just never get old. From the moment Lifetime’s “biopic” (term used incredibly loosely) of the tumultuous relationship between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, now known simply as Liz & Dick, was announced, we’ve had a bit of field day with the project here at FSR. Well, more specifically, I’ve had a field day with it. Is it even remotely possible that this film will be good? (The answer, according to the recent glut of reviews of the film, is a resounding “no.”) That question out of the way, is it even remotely possible that this film will become a modern camp classic? (Sight unseen, we’re going with a big old “yes.”) One hint (beyond all those smashing, in every sense of the word, reviews)? Just look at the marketing on this thing! Specifically, look at some of the stills that Lifetime has released in support of the project! From the first official still, to a closer look at the film’s two stars in character, to one of the worst movie posters we’ve ever had the good fortune to post, not a single frame of Liz & Dick has managed to convince us that the film is a good idea. With the film’s television premiere just days away, why not spend some quality Black Friday time looking back (and looking forward to the film) with a nice, juicy gallery of Liz & Dick stills. So much more satisfying than stuffing. Check out 14 photos from Liz & Dick

Paul Schrader’s next film, The Canyons, was written by famed author Bret Easton Ellis and stars Lindsay Lohan and some male porn star, which earned the project some hype right from the very moment it was announced that held straight through its production. But, despite all of its marquee talent, the movie put out a weird teaser trailer that didn’t seem to have any actual footage from the film and was mostly just a bunch of abstract images shot around L.A. Well, now the film has released a full trailer, and instead of being street photography stuff that doesn’t feature Lindsay Lohan, it’s…something else that’s completely weird as well. It would seem that either The Canyons was shot in black and white, its images have been altered to make this vintage-style trailer, or what we’re looking at still isn’t actual footage from the film. Which of these possibilities sounds most believable?

With all the time Bret Easton Ellis spends on twitter voicing his unpopular opinions, it was a bit of a shock to discover he found even more time to develop a project with Paul Schrader. That movie, The Canyons, we now have a first look at, and in a nicely unconventional way as well. Schrader’s film earned its financing via Kickstarter, so it’s an appropriate marketing choice to sell the movie as a down and dirty indie. Take a gander at the iMovie effects-ridden teaser for The Canyons (via The Playlist):

It would be both ridiculous and untrue to suggest that we haven’t been on the Liz & Dick beat since the Lifetime film was announced, but we have tried to (occasionally) tried to shield you, dear readers, from some of the horrors of the Lindsay Lohan-starring “biopic.” We can no longer do that. Now we must all watch the first “teaser” for the film. We must never forget that someone green-lit this project. Stay vigilant. After the break, check out the first teaser trailer for Liz & Dick, which doesn’t so much resemble an actual teaser trailer as it does a moving representation of that horrible first poster for the film. At the very least, this film will be a wonderful inspiration for Halloween costumes for years to come.

Almost unfathomably, Lifetime’s (your life! your time!) Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton pseudo-biopic, Liz & Dick, continues to actually exist. Sure, star Lindsay Lohan had some troubles while filming (and even before filming, let’s be real here) and, yes, every still we’ve seen of the film has been heinous, but this movie is going to be on your TV soon, goddammit, so let’s look at it. On second thought, maybe not. Here’s the root of the production’s problem (Lohan aside) – it’s a television movie. Liz & Dick just doesn’t have the backing, the funding, or the time to be the sparkly production a Taylor-and-Burton film should be. These two were Hollywood royalty! They were Hollywood! And this is how they’re remembered? As further proof of the slapped-together nature of the film, we’ve got the first poster for the film. It speaks for itself (no, really, it’s just a bunch of words that yell out things we’re supposed to know – “tabloid front page”!). Check it out after the break, if you’re into sullying the memories of stars and such.

If you look anything like James Franco, Lindsay Lohan or both, this might be your big break. According to The Guardian (a newspaper that admittedly comes with free grains of salt), the filmmaker is prepping a video art project on himself and Lohan. Apparently there’s a post on the pay-walled Actors’ Access website (a resource for gigs) that calls for Franco-esque and Lohan-ish actors “aged 13, 21, 30, 45 and 60″ to audition for a project being overseen by Franco’s production partners Vince Jolivette and Miles Levy. It seems like only a few months ago that we were all (yes, all of us) were criticizing Franco for doing too much at once. His soap opera appearances, indie films and degree programs seemed like too much for a mortal man to handle. He even looked exhausted hosting the Oscars. The warning signs were all there, but apparently when he gets bored with only 6 or 7 projects on his plate, this is what happens. On the other hand, Lohan has had a pretty insane life so, yeah, okay, this might be sort of…interesting. Self-indulgent? Definitely. Down the ego rabbit hole? Most assuredly. But interesting? It certainly has the potential. If I can humbly submit a title suggestion, it would be Frohan: A Song of Two Humans. Either that or Being John Malkovich.

Over the course of its pre-production, The Canyons has established itself as being something of a poster child for modern filmmaking. Besides its casting of a couple of recognizable names, like tabloid star Lindsay Lohan and porn star James Deen, the film searched for much of its talent through Facebook auditions. And instead of relying on studio backing to raise funds, the traditional way, its writer, Bret Easton Ellis, and its director, Paul Schrader, raised money through a Kickstarter project, that offered up a bevy of ridiculous prizes backers could win. So what have been the fruits of all of their ultra-modern labors? It’s still kind of hard to tell. A two-and-a-half minute trailer has been released, but it doesn’t seem to contain any actual footage from the film it’s supposed to be promoting. Instead, it just gives us a montage of images shot around L.A., set to a Dum Dum Girls song; no Lindsay, no James Deen, no nothing. Despite the film’s apparent tagline of “It’s not The Hills,” this promo looks like it could very much be the credit sequence of some sort of reality show shot in the city.

The staff here at FSR have been tracking the development of The Canyons pretty closely. The reportedly microbudgeted film directed by Paul Schrader from a script by American Psycho/Less Than Zero novelist Bret Easton Ellis and guided by indie producer Braxton Pope, The Canyons has gained notice for utilizing social media outlets like Kickstarter to help finance it and Facebook to cast as-yet-undiscovered talent. Now, it appears that legendary acting veterans James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor porn star James Deen and postmodern performance art project Lindsay Lohan will star in the film, which ComingSoon describes as a “contemporary thriller that documents five twenty-somethings’ quest for power, love, sex and success in 2012 Hollywood.” Lohan is best-known for her starring roles in The Parent Trap, Mean Girls, and the Los Angeles district court. James Deen is best known for his roles at Jimmy Olsen in Superman XXX: A Porn Parody, Moe in Simpsons: The XXX Parody, and Egon Spengler in This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX.

Despite what many people say, biopics don’t live and die based solely on how much actors look like the real-life people they are portraying. It’s surely the easiest element to pick at, but a skilled actor or actress can inhabit anyone, no matter how much they may or may not look like someone. Of course, I said “skilled.” Deadline Fort Collins has provided us with yet another official still from Lifetime’s hilarious Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton biopic, Liz & Dick, and, unlike the first still from the Lindsay Lohan- and Grant Bowler-starring film, this one is in color. It does not help. Whereas that first black and white vampire neck-lock made it seem as if just anyone was playing Taylor and Burton, this one removes all doubt – it’s Lohan and Bowler, and damn if they don’t have even an ounce of the spark that Burton and Taylor did. What these (posed, blank, studio-shot) looks show is that Lifetime is desperate to prove that they can make Lohan and Bowler look like Taylor and Burton (too bad they can’t) and they’ll rush these stills if they have to (apparently, they thought they had to). With a number of highly unflattering paparazzi stills of the production hitting the internet over the past few days, who can blame them? But these are boring, bland skills without context. Lifetime, ease up. Sit on it. Wait. Then release some clips or trailers that can help prove once and for all that Liz &

While first look images of Lifetime television movies aren’t exactly our bread and butter around these parts, I’ve spent enough time ripping into Liz & Dick that I thought we’d be remiss not to provide a look at the film, no matter how scant it may be, particularly now that it’s actually (almost unfathomably) in production. The Lindsay Lohan- and Grant Bowler-starring film centers on one of Hollywood’s greatest (and most notorious) love stories – that of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. As Lohan and Bowler don’t exactly ring bells as Taylor and Burton (Lohan in particular is really pushing the bounds of cinematic believability), the team behind the inexplicable film seem aware of what they’re working with – which is likely why this first look conceals both actors’ eyes and half of each of their faces. It’s the Magic Eye image of movie photos – it all but begs for squinting and head-tilting, which just might bizarrely result in brief flashes of recognition. Sure, they could look like Taylor and Burton, but who’s really to say? It could be anyone in this picture (and isn’t it fun to pretend it’s anyone but Lohan and Bowler?). Deadline Hampstead first posted the picture, which you can get a bigger look at after the break.

While most people would likely rather eat a shoe (or place some sort of bet on the shoe starring in a Lifetime movie about Elizabeth Taylor) than see the train wreck that will be the Lindsay Lohan-starring Liz & Dick, the production just keeps chugging along. And good on them, too, with rumors abounding that Lohan has been displeased with the parade of actors who have been brought around to try their hand at the Richard Burton role, adding still more fuel to the fire that Lohan is a bad choice for the role both in terms of her behavior (bad) and her talent (negligible). Somehow, though, they’ve finally found the Dick to her Liz! Deadline Wellington reports that, “after an extensive search,” Kiwi actor Grant Bowler has been set to co-star as Burton in the film. Executive producer Larry A. Thompson continues to be unusually chatty about the production, proudly nattering on about how he wanted a Welsh actor for the role but how Bowler’s “gravitas” made him the perfect fit for the part. For good measure, Thompson even recited his own mini-Burton history: “Burton was a Welsh poet, a rascal, and a man’s man, who swept Elizabeth Taylor off her feet and flew her so close to the sun that they both exploded into stardust that still lights up Hollywood.” So…he was Icarus? Cool! Old Hollywood was so wacky and mythologically obtuse! Of course, this all begs the question: just who in sweet hell is Grant Bowler? Only

Okay, Lifetime. After months of speculation, the network has now announced that Lindsay Lohan is set to play Elizabeth Taylor in the their Original Movie, Liz & Dick. The film will center on Taylor’s “historic romance” with Richard Burton (a role that has yet to be cast). With the film set to start filming in June, that announcement is imminent, and it will be quite interesting to see just which direction the network plans to go with the role, with them going completely insane with their Taylor casting and all. Rob Sharenow, Executive Vice President, Programming, of Lifetime Networks commented, “We are thrilled Lindsay will portray beloved Hollywood legend Elizabeth Taylor…She is one of the rare actresses who possesses the talent, beauty and intrigue to capture the spirit of such a provocative icon.” Um. Alright. Lohan piped in, “I have always admired and had enormous respect for Elizabeth Taylor.  She was not only an incredible actress but an amazing woman as well.  I am very honored to have been asked to play this role.” At this point, the controversial actress should be pleased to be getting any roles.

Despite the obstetrical impossible, Mean Girls has labored to deliver Mean Moms – a follow-up of sorts to the Lindsay Lohan-starring comedy. It also stems from an advice book written by Rosalind Wiseman, and shares a producer in Jill Messick. Plus, the logline in exactly the same, but in reverse: “A happily married mother of two moves from small town America to the high class suburbs and is faced with confronting the cutthroat world of competitive parenting.” Replace bitchy teenage girls with bitchy mothers, and you’ve got a movie. Or it’s close at least. Variety is reporting that New Line has hired writing partners Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein (The Vow) to rewrite the current script. It’s also important to note that Kohn and Silverstein have been behind Cubic Zirconia Era rom-coms like He’s Just Not That Into You and Valentine’s Day (where they earned a story credit). This may be an unfair comparison, especially with that resume, but it seems unlikely that they’ll be able to craft something as sharp and still human as Tina Fey did with Mean Girls. There’s a huge difference between character and caricature, so far this team’s writing doesn’t show that they know that difference. Is there any chance this next project won’t be a movie version of Real Housewives of Wherever?

It looks like that Lindsay-Lohan-as-Liz-Taylor pipe dream we never thought would happen might just, in fact, happen. Last month, the Internet was atwitter with news that Lindsay Lohan might just snag a role as the divine Liz in a Lifetime movie (yup, that’s made-for-television) that chronicles the epic true life love story of Taylor and Richard Burton. The film, quite originally titled Elizabeth & Richard: A Love Story, has already most certainly benefited from the buzz that Lohan might take the role (which was then later refuted just a bit with the news that perhaps Megan Fox might get the role), but now it looks like they’ve just gone whole hog on this. Over at Access Hollywood, they’re reporting that a “source” has revealed to host Billy Bush that Lohan has indeed won the role. While I’m more interested in picturing some sort of production mole whispering casting bits to Bush in a secret location, that’s not the real news here. The outlet reports that the role is Lohan’s (and either there’s a big typo here, or they’ve changed the name of the production to Liz and Dick), but that this casting comes with some serious stipulations – namely, that the trouble-prone Lohan “stay on the right side of the court.” Perhaps this will finally set Lohan straight – sorry, judges, jail, and rehab, Lifetime could actually prove better at keeping Lohan on the straight and narrow.