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You’re lying in bed with the clock reading some un-Godly hour in red analog, and you reach out your hand to find only the cold space of the other side of your bed. You want to pull the one you love close to you, but you can’t, because they’re gone. They aren’t on vacation or out of town for work. They are – for the foreseeable future – living in a completely different city.

Most people have found themselves in this position. Even though the concept of the long distance relationship was probably invented when the first tribe realized there was a second tribe (or at least when war starting sending soldiers away for long periods of time), the struggle to keep the fire burning with mileage looming in between is especially appropriate for an age where you can find love on the other end of an internet connection.

It’s the challenge of cross-country romance that the main characters of Going the Distance find themselves facing.

We’ve got a message. For Arizona! Machete has arrived, and he’s brought his sharp, little buddies with him. For over two years now, fans of Grindhouse have been clamoring for a full length version of Robert Rodriguez’s Machete. Now, they’ve got it, and, more than likely, it will wind up on top of the box office this weekend. It will have some stiff competition, though, as also in wide release are Going the Distance and The American, the newest vehicle for a man who has Rodriguez partially to thank for his film success. It’s gonna be a barn burner. So let’s sit back, crack open a bottle of Dos Equis, and see how the weekend is shaping up.

Today, two summer shows and one fall show that hasn’t aired yet saw renewals for another season including Hung, Memphis Beat, and The Walking Dead.

Looks like we’ll be seeing more of Thomas Jane’s man parts, Jason Lee doing a southern accent and zombies attacking a guy on a horse.

Look again. Now the horse is diamonds.

There are few things more irritating in this country than being a zombie and having to deal with status as a second class citizen. Fortunately, it’s almost Fall – the time when a young zombie’s fancy turns toward romance.

I’ve only read the first few chapters of S.G. Browne’s “Breathers: A Zombie’s Lament,” but from the outset it seems like a calmer version of the minimalist writing of Chuck Palahniuk – only the main character has been “re-animated.” It’s even got the Anonymous meeting connection.

The adaptation of the novel got another kick toward reality now that Geoff LaTulippe’s script is finished and Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Scarlett Johansson are attached (albeit in a casual fashion). LaTulippe’s work can be seen in theater with Going the Distance which displays how clearly he understands the romantic comedy genre. It’s unclear whether he gets zombies, but those two names are big enough to make this something to look out. Maybe it’ll be like 500 Brains of Summer. [Pajiba]

Our worst fears have been realized. Not only is there a third entry in the Lake Placid franchise, but it contains videographic proof that cartoon crocodiles have come to life and are attacking topless young women.

Either that, or their CGI budget was $3.50.

This looks like a truly awful cinematic experience, leading me to believe that The Asylum had something to do with it.

However, in the same way that you’d rather watch an Asylum trailer than really watch the movie, this trailer has everything it takes to put a smile on your face. As long as you’re older than 18, because there’s a bit of nudity. Really blatant, over-the-top nudity.

One is a movie based on a board game. One is the fourth installment to a franchise based off an amusement park ride. Both are what the people have been holding their breath in nervous anticipation for.

Luckily, both are delivering in the ridiculousness department. Because that’s a real department. It’s true. I’ve driven by a movie set before, so I know.

A few intrepid spies have nabbed some shots of Rihanna and her non-regulation haircut for Battleship, and the Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides main line up.

Carter, Rice and the rest of the Dark Blue team go after a man ripping off drug deals under the false identity of the DEA. But things take an unplanned turned when Jamie’s confidence is rattled after being assaulted by a perp that ended up being gunned down by Carter and Dean.

Now she thinks the entire case rests on her shoulders. But just to make sure not all of his eggs are in one basket, Carter sends Ty and Dean to meet with an old – and very annoying – contact that will hopefully put the boys in with their mark.

The Fright Night remake is still over a year away from release, but the first image of character design from the film has already been glimpsed.

David Tennant (Dr. Who) stars as a popular Las Vegas magician called upon by some uppity teens to face off against pure evil in the form of Jerry the vampire (Colin Farrell).

The role is an updated version of the TV horror host played by Roddy McDowell in the original film. Anton Yelchin, Imogen Poots, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse play the aforementioned uppity youngsters.

The image below is of a three-story banner hanging in the lobby of a Hard Rock Hotel & Casino where the Fright Night magic show takes the stage. Behold the mystical stylings of Peter Vincent, Mindfreak!