In a press release today, Rovio Entertainment has announced that Despicable Me producer John Cohen will be producing an Angry Birds movie with an eye to release it in the summer tentpole season of 2016. The film will be animated and in 3D. It’s not the first time we’ve reported on it, and it probably won’t be the last that we question the idea of taking an admittedly popular, completely uncinematic franchise and shoving it into film form. But since it’s happening, they could have done worse than to hire Cohen, especially since he’ll be working alongside executive producer David Maisel — formerly of Marvel Studios and Iron Man. Cohen has a lengthy track record working successfully in big budget animation (alongside Fox Animation and Blue Sky Studios), so the expertise is certainly there. They’ll make a great team to create something visually and (most likely) comically appealing. No doubt it will be aimed at children and their parents, but the challenge remains of taking something addictive because of its simplicity and translating it with any worth into a story worth telling over an hour and a half. If I can’t draw my finger back on the screen, I’m not sure I want to see the fowl fly. Fortunately, they’ve announced it early enough for doubters like me to get out of the way when it hits.  

What is Movie News After Dark DRINKING? It’s the end result of a long work day, a half dozen mini doughnuts, a glass of cheap Canadian whisky, Robert Fure, and a keyboard. Suck on it, suckers! This week’s movie news after Drinking is brought to you by Revel Stoke spiced whisky (We should not get paid for this because I’m not drinking this again. Or no we should still get paid, but I’m not drinking this again). But basically the deal is I get kind of drunk and then try to type up a whole bunch of movie news before my arms stop working. If you’re wondering why I’m typing all this nonsense, it’s because we need a certain amount of buffer before we move into the news to put a proper text break in here. But totally keep reading because Will Smith NO JOKE SLAPS A RUSSIAN IN THE FACE IN THE FIRST STORY. (OH LOOK AT ME I’M FRILMCRIT HULK BECAUSE THIS IS ALL CAPITALS)

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a delightful little sampler of all that is right in the world of movie blogging. Even on a rather slow news day, typical for the day after April Fool’s as sites try to weed out the weekend’s news that wasn’t fake, we can still find plenty of things worth your reading eyes. We begin this evening with a look at Christoph Waltz on the set of Django Unchained, looking quite dapper and if I might say, rocking some wicked facial hair. There’s no way that this goes poorly, of that we can be assured.

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s the nightly movie news column you need right now. It doesn’t care what you want. It knows what you need. We begin tonight with some news about The Dark Knight Rises, a film that has not been mentioned in this column for quite some time. We missed the part where it was going to Occupy Wall Street and skipped ahead to the good stuff: like the confirmation of a TDKR proluge showing with 70mm IMAX prints of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol when it hits theaters on December 16. That’s awesome.

What is Movie News After Dark? Hold on, it needs to finish this level of Angry Birds, then it will be ready. Alright fine, one more level. Seriously, just give it a second. God*^*% stupid pigs! Alright, anyway, time to do the news. Tonight’s top story: former Marvel Studios chairman David Maisel has been hired by Rovio to develop a film about the addicting mobile game Angry Birds. Apparently a game that has been downloaded over 250 million times has some sort of commercial appeal. Personally, I hate this idea. I thought Rovio made a great move partnering up with Fox on Rio and doing cross-promotion. It’s not a cinematic franchise, but I will buy a game with some Samba background music.

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s excited about James Bond! And Muppets! And Angry Birds! And a bunch of other things that could be classified as movie-related news and notes. Why? Because this is your nightly dose of all that is good and readable in the movie blogosphere. MGM and Sony have brokered a deal in which they will split the cost of the next James Bond film, the Sam Mendes directed 23rd film in the Bond franchise. But wait, there’s more! Included in the deal is a very juicy option for Bond 24, which would be in the works shortly after 23 is released, should all go as planned. The first milestone will come on November 9, 2012, when Bond 23 is due to be released. I say cheers to that.

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s the thing your girlfriend is mumbling about during sex. It’s the thing that every nerd, intellectual and dweeboid demands before they slink off to sleep. It’s everything to everyone at every moment, every where. But really, it’s a list of the day’s movie news items. And some other fun stuff, thrown in for good measure. First The Muppets, now The Hobbit. Bret McKenzie, most famous for being 1/2 of the awesome duo behind Flight of the Conchords, appears to be making all the right moves. He’s been confirmed for a smaller role in Peter Jackson’s Hobbit films. That’s all that matters.

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly column about movie news that wasn’t big enough to get quality real estate on the home page. Or the stuff that everyone else missed. But you won’t miss it! Because it’s all right here! “I think he has a script ready to start of a new film, a Southern. I think it’s really exciting. It’s another new story and a fresh piece of material that he is channeling at the moment.” That’s Uma Thurman, talking about Quentin Tarantino’s next film.

What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this stuff late at night, what do you expect?

What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this shit late at night, what do you expect?

What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this shit late at night, what do you expect?

There’s nothing not to love about Park Chan-wook. The man delivered Old Boy, two brilliant Sympathy For… films, and the strangest bloodsucker story this side of Shadow of the Vampire. Now, he’s done what everyone else has only talked and joked around about. He stopped playing Angry Birds and started shooting a movie with his iPhone with his brother, Park Chan-kyong. Paranmanjang (which loosely translates to Life of Ups and Downs) is not feature length, but at 30 minutes, it’s fairly substantial. It was made for around $133,000 (which is more than we were planning to invest in our phone-based film), and tells the story of a fisherman who catches a mysterious woman when she gets tangled in his net. Park had this to say about using the phone: