Coroner’s Report: Lake Dead

Posted by Robert Fure (robert@filmschoolrejects.com) on June 12, 2008

After Dark Horrorfest 2007 moves along.  Now if you’re reading these and wondering why, in 2008, we’re going over last years Horrorfest, it’s simple, really.  These films only recently became available on DVD and thus accessible to a wider audience of people.  I remember trying to find out information on all of the various titles before watching them, which can prove difficult with such limited theatrical runs.  Soon we’ll move on to newer DVD releases you may be considering, current in-theater movies, and the “Must See” classics of horror, some of my personal favorites.  So stick around.

Today’s entry, Lake Dead, is a low budget slasher type film that follows some sisters who inherit a hotel up near a lake after the death of a grandfather.  Their alcoholic and absent father reappears on the scene to try and persuade them not to go near the lake, but not being the kind to forgive and forget so easily, pack up some friends in an RV and head out.  One sister, Sam (Tara Gerard), the bad girl of the group, heads up early and finds a quick, bloody, end.  Written off as a flake, the rest of the crew find nothing wrong and soon are being stalked and harassed by members of an inbred family who set out to rape and murder like it was a family picnic.

Kills

You probably shouldn’t get attached to anyone in the small cast as their blood is apt to get spilled at some point.  The body count numbers in the 6 range, though only one (covered in Ills) is really all that awesome, in my humble opinion.  OK, maybe two.

Ills

We get a couple of good kills, though most are humdrum.  The first introductory kill is nice and bloody.  We get a shotgun wound which I appreciated, though the CGI is ‘eh’ but that’s to be expected.  The best kill is a kind of torturous stab/drag/drown kill that was nice.  A good start to a film that just seemed to lose steam as it went on.  There is some decent action in this department though, for what it is.  There is one thing I have to bring up though, that non-horror fans will probably find disgusting.  Rape is a common theme in these backwoods type movies and it is, obviously, a horrific thing that no one wants to witness or wish upon anyone.  However, in a film, rape is part of it.  Rape shouldn’t be played for laughs or as an erotic thing, but it should be horrifying to the audience.  It should be sold as a horrible, horrible thing you don’t want anyone to ever experience.  There is a rape scene in this film, that is borderline laughable.  Not intentionally so.  It is just the laziest, weirdest rape scene.  It came off to me more like some sort of mentally challenged attempt at sex.  All I’m saying, is if you’re going to go for it, go for it.

Lust

We get a sex scene out in the woods, which I was appreciative of.  Catch a few glimpses here and there.  Generally, the girls are attractive.  They go swimming and dress appropriately.  Nothing ground breaking.  The interaction between a jealous girlfriend and a new slut friend is funny.  The sexiest part of the film is Sam (Tara Gerard) who is one of the sisters.  She is smoking hot.  I said damn!  Shamefully she doesn’t have a big enough part and though she always remains clothed, her first appearance is sexy to me.

Learning

These kids deserved to die, really.  Creepy motel - check.  Middle of nowhere - check.  Strange old lady - check.  Dire warning to stay away - check.  Mysterious family connection - check.  Small isolated community - check.  That is basically a warning sign that reads “Stay Out - Creepy Inbred Family Will Hunt, Kill, Rape, and Possibly Eat You.”  Stay away from these situations people, and stay safe!

Review

I’ll be honest - I did not really like this film.  There are a few others who did and even a close friend of mine thought it was better than a good portion of the other entries into Horrorfest.  I thought it was a fairly weak acted film with an unoriginal story.  It’s clearly low budget and filmed on digital, which I don’t want to hold against it, but will.  In the days of digital film-making, it’s not that hard to spend another 4 days color correcting the film to make it look a bit more like film.  The digital look leaves me cold, every time.  With a 2-day course in Final Cut, you can learn to make your digital films look 70% better.

The writing, actually, is a bit stronger than usual here.  I think the reason why a lot of people seemingly enjoy this film is that the dialog is funny at times.  There are a few good jokes, the beginning character intros are actually really well done.  Plot wise, its very similar to a lot of things, namely an episode of the “X-Files” called “Home” and something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre or The Hills Have Eyes.  Any three of those is ten times more enjoyable.

I’m having trouble coming up with a grade for this film, partly because I was so hard against all of the other films thus far and partly because this film isn’t so bad that it deserves the stamp of an F.  Its a low budget horror film (have you seen the theme of my After Dark reviews yet?) and if you like that, this isn’t as bad as they come.  There is no real message, no real scares, no real thrills.  But it can be an ok way to kill 90 minutes if you’re into this.  In the end, like many of the other films thus far, watch it if you like low budget or if you want to see all of HorrorFest, but it’s really not worth seeking out.

I respect what HorrorFest is doing, giving people these chances to get their films exposed, and the small amount of budget and time they have to work with.  Maybe I’ve been too hard on these films, but as a whole they’ve failed to impress me, though a few have shone (comparatively) brightly.  There is talent in Lake Dead and hopefully those that deserve another chance at the spotlight get it.  But all that tear jerking sentimentality aside, the film still gets a:

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