So you’re sitting around wanting to see the trailer for A Simple Noodle Story and contemplate deeply the implications of Chinese art house cinema, right?

Some of you true horror buffs may know the name Marcus Nispel, but I’m man enough to admit that I’ve never heard of him. Or the country he’s from. “Germany” I believe it’s called.

With new plot details emerging, it looks like the filmmakers behind the Karate Kid remake are changing up their story by infusing it with cliches. Out with the old, in with the old.