It should be news to no one that a sixth film in the Fast & the Furious franchise is heading into production. The last film, Fast Five, is the highest grossing installment in the series, and regardless of the film’s quality that’s one hell of a feat. Happily, under the guiding hand of director Justin Lin, Fast Five actually managed to be a damn entertaining movie. (Stupid, but entertaining.) Lin is returning to helm the sixth film, and many of the usual suspects are along for the ride including Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson and Fast Five‘s MVP Dwayne Johnson. Previously announced newcomers include the charisma-free Luke Evans (Death Race 2) and Haywire‘s kick-ass leading lady Gina Carano. It’s assumed that both will be playing for the bad guys. If that assumption is correct, they’ve just found themselves a third team member.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr gets in his car and hits the road with a can of NOS energy drink and his shaved head. Too bad his car is a 2006 Dodge minivan with collapsible seats and a back-seat DVD player for the kids to use. He didn’t stand a chance in the street racing against Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. After recovering from the cold, hard truth that The Rock stole his look for Fast Five, Kevin goes stag to Prom and suffers through the direct-to-DVD theatrical release of Hoodwinked Too!: Hood vs. Evil.

Let’s cut to the chase here shall we? Fast Five is a stupid, overly long, and poorly written movie with moronic dialogue, plot contrivances big enough to fit both of the bald giants above through, and a complete disregard for right, wrong, and the sanctity of human life. More on all of that in a minute, but the other half of this equation is that it also features some kick-ass, high energy, destructive-as-hell action scenes that rattle the walls of the theater and happily remind you that there are still filmmakers capable of crafting spectacular cinematic mayhem without relying on CGI to do all the heavy lifting. So you can see my dilemma…

Michael Bay seems to be trading one type of bloat for another.

Tyrese Gibson is coming back for Transformers 3. This should come as no surprise to anyone. In a world where news is farmed from the bowels of Twitter (not being condescending here, I’m about to do it myself), Tyrese let out the word via his account, the aptly named @Tyrese4ReaL.

Kevin Carr sits his chubbiness down and sees if Tooth Fairy, Legion and Extraordinary Measures can make the grade.

As God loses faith in mankind once again, the angel he entrusts with the task of setting off the Apocalypse (Paul Bettany) breaks rank in order to protect mankind’s only, last, greatest hope – a small child carried in the womb of a truck stop waitress (Adrianne Palicki).

The fine folks over at Cinematical have debuted a few new images from the upcoming aweseome-a-thon known as Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen that feature looks at some of the vehicles involved in the film — we’re told that these turn into robots, but we are yet to be convinced.

We had a chance to talk to the director and co-star of Death Race to give them a shot at selling us on more explosions.

If the answer to my rhetorical question is, ‘holy hell yes!’ then you’ll want to check inside for details, but don’t expect any Transformer 2 spoilers. He wouldn’t give ‘em to me.

This article has absolutely nothing to do with the real Thundercats movie currently set to see theater time in 2010. This is all about a faux production created in the minds of a few fans.