Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; because you couldn’t find anything better to do. Junkfood Cinema is the only bad movie column to have been letter-bombed by a radical faction of supermodels.

Oh holy hell, lock up the granola and put on your novelty bibs because it’s time for another obnoxiously tall helping of Junkfood Cinema! This is the only column on the internet that spawned a Mothers Against Drunk Driving offshoot called MAJFC; doesn’t really have the same ring to it does it?