You heard me – I’m dumping practically everything I can think of at you, and no doubt I’ll still miss a few. In fact, there’s one I am intentionally leaving out just so I can watch the angry comments and laugh like a Disney villain. Honestly, though – after having my memory jarred by all the comments on my first installment of 14 of the Most Impressive Monologues in Movie History, I couldn’t not make another one of these. So here are, once more, some movie monologues out there that really stick out from the rest.

The world first learned about Jason Segel’s love of puppetry when he performed an all-puppet Dracula musical during the climactic moments of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Segel then parlayed the success of that film into the fulfillment of a lifelong dream when he got handed the reins of Jim Henson’s iconic stable of puppet characters The Muppets for his upcoming film…The Muppets. Though all pre-release indicators point to the fact that Segel has gotten the voice of The Muppets just right and had a great time making not only the movie, but also the neverending tidal wave of ancillary marketing stuff, it still doesn’t seem like he’s gotten his fill of working with puppets just yet. As a matter of fact, this may be only the beginning. When talking to The Playlist about what he plans on doing next, Segel told an anecdote about reacquiring the first film he ever sold, “I actually just got back into possession my first script I ever sold when I was 21-years-old. It sat on a shelf and they didn’t know that it was the same Jason Segel. I came to them because the contract was up and I went to buy it up and they were like, ‘No, wait, that was you? That was your script?’ And I was like, ‘Yep, sorry dudes.’ So I now own it and I want to make it. It’s a kids adventure movie in the style of Goonies or Labyrinth or something like that. I think that’s the next [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

Back in 1985, releasing a family film that was directed by Superman’s Richard Donner and had Steven Spielberg’s name plastered all over it as a writer and producer was pretty much the antithesis of a risky proposition. At this point in the mid 80s Spielberg and his crew of cohorts were at the height of their powers, churning out family friendly blockbusters one after another. So The Goonies never really had an uphill battle to climb. It was probably always going to be a success. The way that it took the ball and has continued to run with it, even twenty-six years later, is a little astounding though. This is a huge movie. If ever someone admits to not having seen it, they instantly get hit with an incredulous, “WHAT? YOU HAVEN’T SEEN GOONIES?” It’s almost to the point where the DVD gets sent to suburbanites in the mail with Peter Frampton records and samples of Tide. On the other end of the spectrum, The Monster Squad is a total cult movie. While it’s loved passionately by a small group of geeks, a normal person would have to very randomly stumble across something deep within the heart of the Internet to ever realize that this movie even exists. There aren’t any college frat boys wearing out their copy of Monster Squad like they are their copies of Goonies. There isn’t a new generation of young kids catching on to Fat Kid and Frankenstein the way they are Chunk and Sloth. [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

Salutations from the seedy underworld of merch collecting, where myths are debunked, the fabrics of the finest secrets unfurled for discerning eyes, and the most glorious curios from lands far and exotic are offered as sacrifices to the Rejects’ lascivious hareem of readers. Well, not really, but that opening was far more poetic and sexy than the truth that I’m a slightly sad obsessive sitting in a Ghostbusters T-shirt and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pajama pants trying to convince other grown adults to buy what essentially amount to toys… Anyway, as film nerds (those of us who accept and embrace the term), we live in a world whose chief currency is fantasy, so this week’s offerings to the Merch Hunter Tomb of Essentials are each taken from a franchise that has made an unquantifiably massive impact on escapist cinema-lovers like myself. Read on, shell out and embrace the inner merch-nerd…

What is Movie News After Dark? Usually it’s a pretty straightforward look at what’s happening in the world of film. But sometimes, mostly on Friday nights when we’ve run out of actual news, it becomes an eclectic mix of notes and links that will tickle your cinema-loving fancy. It’s full of things you might want to read after heading out to see this week’s new releases. So read it, before you fall asleep and dream of what’s in Super 8‘s mystery box… Roger Ebert has extended the reach of his ever-growing empire. He will now be on your iPad, should you choose to download him. Ebert’s Greatest Movies app has hit iOS devices, recommending to you all the greatest that cinema has to offer. Think of it as a Cliff’s Notes version of his books, and a great cheat-sheet for filling up your Netflix queue.

It’s Spielberg week around here, so hop on your bike and join us on an adventure that involves dirty criminals, dirty pirates, and mortgage-saving gold. The Goonies, directed by Richard Donner, is the kind of fantasy that a lot of children had growing up. They knew something was happening, changing in their neighborhood. They knew that their parents were in some sort of trouble that was too grown up to really grasp, and they wanted to do something to fix everything. Fortunately, a pirate left a ton of treasure to help them out. Now to avoid all the booty traps to get to it. There is a ton of trivia surrounding this movie, but maybe my favorite is that Data has “007″ inscribed on his belt, because, as we all know, Data was always a bigger bad ass than Bond. The other contender is the fact that the children weren’t allowed to see the pirate ship until they filmed the scene of them discovering it. That’s a play right out of the Willy Wonka playbook, and apparently the Goonies take had to be redone because some of the kids cursed.

Whether you’re trying to avoid the releases this week or augment them with even more movies, Your Alternate Box Office offers some options for movies that would play perfectly alongside of (or instead of) the stuff studios are shoving into the megaplex this weekend. This week features one major release which showcases Johnny Depp doing his best imitation of himself making a disturbing amount of money. With only one release, it gives us the opportunity to see what other pirate-based movies might make for a better weekend in front of a screen.

With the holidays approaching, the studios are releasing some pretty sweet collector’s sets of classic films. One of the big releases this week is the 25th anniversary of The Goonies, which comes with the Blu-ray, memorabilia and a board game. If you were a fan of this film as a child, you are clearly old enough to drink now. So raise a toast to One-Eyed Willy and have some fun.

Join us each week as Rob Hunter takes a look at new DVD releases and gives his highly unqualified opinion as to which titles are worth BUYing, which are better off as RENTals, and which should be AVOIDed at all costs. And remember, these listings and category placements are meant as informational conversation starters only. But you can still tell Hunter how wrong he is in the comment section below. This week sees five Buy recommendations! And all but one of them are decades old! Insane I tell you, insane! Anyway. Titles out this week include Centurion, the HBO miniseries The Pacific, the uncut version of the absurdly entertaining The Visitor, The Hungry Ghosts, reissues of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and The Goonies, and more.

Twenty five years ago to the day, producer Steven Spielberg and director Richard Donner were probably meeting at the Amblin offices, right there on the Universal lot where they still reside today. They were probably having a conversation about the first day’s receipts and the weekend projections for their newly released film The Goonies.

The folks over at UniqueDaily never say die, and neither do we. So it seems fitting that they posted this very cool, very rare behind the scenes video from the set of The Goonies.

Rejoice! It’s not all doom and gloom when it comes to remakes. There’s a ton of 80s movies that aren’t being remade, and here’s just a handful of the ones we’re most thankful for.

Ricky Gervais is still chubby but now is animated, J.J. Abrams discusses lens flares, Elizabeth Banks hits on Zac Efron, The Goonies, Michael Bay’s penis size. This is your very special humpday Early Edition!

I’m back today to try and make it up to you with a buffet of news to get your movie loving motors running. Of course, my hope is that your motors are hyrbid engines, as today is Earth Day and we should be doing what we can for the old gal.