It was sort of heartbreaking earlier in the year when The Weinstein Company failed to purchase Miramax back. It would have been a homecoming of sorts for both companies, and it promised a return to form for Miramax after struggling through the latter part of the 2000s with fewer titles (and far less edge). The two companies have announced the next best thing – a long-term partnership. Unfortunately, that partnership is built upon producing and releasing a blight on the cinematic community. The two companies plan on releasing sequels to long-forgotten titles. Unnecessary sequels are planned for Bad Santa, Rounders, and Shakespeare in Love. There’s something harmless about seeing Billy Bob Thornton back in the Santa suit, but do they expect to nab Matt Damon and Ed Norton back? Do they plan on getting Gwyneth Paltrow back into drag? Those aren’t necessary components, but without those main actor ties, the sequels – coming a decade late – would be In Name Only sequels. The worst case scenario is Miramax becoming the National Lampoon of indie companies.

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; the existence of leftovers is a sign of failure. This is the internet column in which I gorge myself on bad movies in much the same manner as you stuffed your face with stuffing and mashed potatoes yesterday. But unlike you, I only occasionally slip into a 13 hour nap after my cinematic chow-downs. I will carve up these films and serve up exactly what makes them less-than-perfect, and then lovingly pour over it a gravy of praise that ultimately masks that distinctive schlocky taste. I will then pair the film with an appropriate junkfood selection in an effort to abuse your stomach the way the movie abuses your cognitive faculties. This week’s film provides a nice two-for-one advantage that all you manic shoppers should appreciate. Incidentally, if you are currently reading this on your mobile device while waiting in line at Big Box Retailer #685, would it kill you to pick me up seven copies of Over the Top on Blu-ray? As I was saying, I had promised that the rest of November would be dedicated to recently-deceased industry legend Dino De Laurentiis, and today’s film is not only a De Laurentiis production but also resides in my favorite of film genres: horror. Today’s film is Amityville II: The Possession.

With the clear dawn of a new decade, we say goodbye to a once-great innovation that’s been reduced to a scummy fad. R.I.P. 3D.

The only thing haunting about The Haunting in Connecticut is how similar it is to every other haunted house movie of the last three decades.

We know it’s technically a buyer’s market right now, but that doesn’t mean you have to rush into buying a property – especially if the chairs are going to rearrange themselves or you’re going to end up being raped by trees. Be a smart consumer and avoid these listings.