If it’s not a vampire movie, why are there vampires in it? If it’s not a vampire movie, why is this known the world over as “the teen vampire movie”? I suppose we could also say that Iron Man isn’t a superhero movie and It’s a Wonderful Life isn’t a Christmas movie.

If you can get through the damned thing, you’ll have the elite status of claiming you’ve seen a Finnish horror film. And the most expensive Finnish film ever made.