Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; the burning means it’s working. This is the weekly movie column that does its small part to battle piracy by highlighting several films no one in their right mind would ever want to download.

The New York Daily News just reported that Captain Lou Albano — permanent fixture of the wrestling world, father figure to Girls who Just Wanna Have Fun, and most importantly, the human incarnation of Mario (Super Mario Bros. Super Show) — has warped to the great World 8 in the sky. He was 76.