“Movie Houses of Worship” is a regular feature spotlighting our favorite movie theaters around the world, those that are like temples of cinema catering to the most religious-like film geeks. This week, I’ve chosen one of my own favorite theaters, or at least the return of an old favorite. If you’d like to suggest or submit a place you regularly worship at the altar of cinema, please email our weekend editor. The New Parkway Location: 474 24th Street, Oakland, CA Opened: November 30, 2012 (original Parkway Theater existed at another location from January 1997 through March 2009) No. of screens: 2 Current first-run titles: Trance; Olympus Has Fallen; Disconnect

So you’ve been shot/stabbed/eaten/burned/dismembered/amputated/face melted by an ancient artifact, what are you going to do next? If you answered, “go into shock while screaming like an asshole” then you’re probably on track. In the movies, of course, that’s a different story – people like to do cool stuff while dying in movies, act all badass for our amusement. Let’s look at 20 such fallen heroes. Spoilers should go without saying. But we said it. Right there. So no one can complain.

Sometimes a person just doesn’t get along. In films, it can be the other characters that don’t mesh, or sometimes it’s the audience themselves who just can’t stand a single idiot character that won’t go away. I believe the term is “Jar-Jaring” or, if you’re referring to television, “pulling a Lori.” Last year I gave you a pretty okay list of characters that achieved excellent redemptions for their wrongdoings. Today I want to explore those who did not. These are the asshole characters that tried and failed, or simply didn’t try at all. Hey spoilers!

We’ve been hearing about Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg’s next film together as co-writers for a while. A mashup between the concepts of the pub crawl and the apocalypse, The World’s End has been said to be the third film in an informal trilogy that started with Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Other than Wright directing and co-writing the film with Pegg, we’ve also known from the start that Pegg was set to re-team with Nick Frost as its stars. But, seeing as the film’s synopsis says that it’s about five friends in their forties trying to recreate an epic pub crawl they completed when they were younger, there’s always been a question of who else was going to be joining the cast. Well, a press release put out by Universal today not only confirms a couple names that have been floating around for a while, it also adds two more to the mix.

Imagine how impressed your dinner guests will be when they pass by the chocolate fountain in the hallway and spy the Isla Nublar map hanging on your wall – complete with detailed information on where the Raptor and T-Rex pens are. “Is that an antique from a wealthy. erstwhile relative?” they’ll ask. “Why no,” you’ll say, “it’s a Jurassic Park-inspired print from Ron Guyatt.” And they will swoon. Guyatt’s work is simple, but dynamic, toying around with the imagery of famous films, television shows and video games alike. Targets range from Kung Fu Panda to “Scott Pilgrim” to “Tetris,” and each print is curiously affordable. Check out some of the movie prints for yourself:

We all know what it feels like when a film touches on events yet to come. Usually it’s the best when it’s something that you could only pick up on after already watching the film once before – it’s like a little inside joke you get to have with the filmmakers, a reward for sitting through the movie more than once. At times it’s not even the fact that it foreshadows event in the films, but rather that it’s so subtle that it takes a few goes to even pick up on. Other times are less subtle, but just as fun. This is probably going to have spoilers in it. Just to be clear.

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s the calm, both before and after the storm. It’s the thing that keeps you warm just before you slip into a night’s slumber. It’s the movie news, editorial links, audio-visual stimuli that you yearn for all day long. It’s the alpha and the omega of what’s happening in the world of entertainment news. It’s also quite playful. We begin tonight with a new shot of Bruce Willis in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, in which he plays Joe Colton, the original G.I. Joe. It’s hard to argue with the facts: that man knows how to look cool holding a gun, even if the gun in the hands of Adrianne Palicki (seen behind him) is far more badass.

If it were up to me, every movie would be required at least one musical number. Seriously, every movie. Children Of Men would have a song in it, Sophie’s Choice as well. Why? I don’t know – it would be funny I guess. Fine, so it’s probably not a great idea. I take it back. I just get excited when a song becomes the center of a scene – especially in comedies. People rarely have the nibs to stick a good musical sequence or two in their non-musical genre films, so let’s take a moment to pay our respects to those who did it so well by arbitrarily judging them in list form.

Shuffle. Shuffle. Groan. Crawl. Shuffle. And commentary on all of it. It’s the Halloween season, so you know the zombie movies are out there in force. But we always like a few lot of laughs with our scares. What better movie to dish out both of those along with an ample helping of heart – figurative heart, as in emotion, not actual bloody hearts being tossed about, though we have that here, too – than Edgar Wright‘s Shaun of the Dead? What’s even better, Wright has brought along a familiar and jovial voice to help him recollect some of the fun and interesting times on set. Simon Pegg is helping out with the color commentary, that color being red more than likely. So it’s time to head on down to the Winchester – provided they have a DVD player – grab a pint and your best cricket bat, watch the ball go from bat to wicket – that’s a cricket reference just to show I know a thing or two. That’s two things. I’m out. – and hear what Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg have to say in this week’s Commentary Commentary. Shuffle. Crawl. Shuffle. Groan. Brains.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and while we don’t really know who they are exactly one thing is clear. They’re probably bilingual. Edgar Wright’s Shaun of the Dead certainly wasn’t the first horror comedy to spoof the zombie genre (it’s not even the best… Return of the Living Dead has that honor), but Wright’s film has a well earned cultural cache thanks to a smartly funny script, energetic direction, and a charismatic pair of lead actors. It’s definitely not a bad place to start when setting out to make your country’s first zombie film. Especially when that country is Cuba.

The month of September is typically regarded as one of the least exciting and least eventful in the calendar year. It’s something of an interval month, a strange in-between phase sandwiched in the middle of summer Hollywood blockbusters and the “quality” flicks and holiday programming of the fall. In strictly monetary terms, it’s the most underperforming month of the year, and has even been beaten by the desolate burial ground that is January in terms of event-style opening weekends. But this may ultimately be a good thing. In fact, if future Septembers continue to exhibit the same patterns as this month, the time of the year in which schools go back in session and you can no longer wear all-white may prove to be one of the most interesting and exciting months on the wide-release calendar.

What is Movie News After Dark? For tonight at least, it will be your gentle companion. Due to it being a little on the late side, it will be brief and to the point. The point being all the audio/visual goodness that it can provide in one sitting. Fear not, generation of non-readers, there will be video! Tonight’s lead is something you’ll wish you could wipe away from your memory banks moments after you see it (so right about now), a first look at the stage production “Batman Live.” Clearly drawn from the recesses of Joel Schumacher’s mind, buried somewhere alongside his other horrid mistakes, is the look and feel of this London-set ‘stravaganza. God save the Queen, and The Dark Knight.

Thanks to the talents of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the label “spoof” has lost all respect in the cinematic world. Often credited as “two of the writers of Scary Movie” (both as a joke and warning sign), Friedberg and Seltzer devolved the spoof film using an arsenal of pop culture references, bathroom humor and non sequiturs. Keeping it classy was never the goal. While their rampage through genre and cultural phenomena may never end, spoofing doesn’t have to live with shame either. Plenty of filmmakers have figured out ways to satirize the movie world and tell their own stories at the same time — it’s the movie-going public that’s afraid to use the dreaded s-word. Let’s suck it up and admit the truth: these ten films are hilarious, well-made and spoofs through and through:

You might know Edgar Wright as the director of last year’s underseen screen gem Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, and you might know Simon Pegg and Nick Frost as the onscreen and screenwriting duo from the upcoming Greg Mottola comedy Paul. But probably you know them all from the work they did collaborating on the awesome action comedies Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Those films were written by Pegg and Wright, they starred Pegg and Frost, and they were directed by Wright. And according to Simon Pegg, they’re all ready to have another go at it. He told MTV, “Edgar has coughed up that [Scott Pilgrim] furball and we’re now in the process of regurgitating [Paul], so Edgar and I are planning to get together in the next few months to start working on the next in the ‘Blood and Ice Cream’ series. And I hope Nick will be more involved in the creation of that.” So does this mean that now that Pegg and Frost have written together we may get a three-man writing team for the next, ‘Blood and Ice Cream’ movie, as he calls it?

There’s no need for a giant dissertation on the nature of the box office and the world of youth culture. There have been enough editorials written recently about Scott Pilgrim‘s apparent failure to defeat the World, some going so far as to question Hollywood’s co-opting of geek culture entirely. However, there is a need for some perspective. To gain that perspective, we’ll need to analyze a past of store clerks fighting zombies and policemen cleaning up small towns to realize that Scott Pilgrim actually did pretty well for himself.

Perhaps the most shocking match up of Round One, heavy-hitter Shaun of the Dead drew against the massive juggernaut of The Dark Knight. It stands to be a bitter, fanboy fight and it could leave some bodies on the ground. Of course, those bodies will then re-animate and hunger for brains. Can Shaun pull it out or will The Dark Knight make it’s pencil disappear?

Reader be warned, as the following is a hyper-aggressive vularthon between two of our most entertaining and unique voices. Send the kids out of the room, and enjoy…

I’m hoping that a casting director for Robert Zemeckis asked Cary Elwes to star in Yellow Submarine, and he answered, “As you wish.”

In which two men, one having never seen a zombie film and the other a casual fan of the genre, create the best zombie flick since Shaun of the Dead. And in which, I get the scoop of the century on who will be playing Venom.

From the long list of names on the posters and trailers, you’d think that this comedy would rise above the usual average drivel, but you’d be wrong.