It’s that time of year again. A time to leer out your window suspiciously, a time to hear things that go bump in the night, a time to tremble with fear at the constant, piercing violin strings that follow you everywhere you go. It’s Christmas!

Curiously, Santa Claus: The Movie is one of those Christmas movies that, unless you were a child in the 80s, or had a child in the 80s, you completely missed out on.