This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr pulls out his screening schedule, which looks like a gambling addict’s racing form. He bounces from huge, mainstream releases to minor indie award contenders. Facing motion-capture CGI, tattooed bisexual investigators, cross-dressing waiters, silent film actors, and a lead star who is literally hung like a horse, Kevin tries to make sense of the seemingly countless releases this holiday week. Exhaustion from this process makes it impossible to buy a zoo or face the 3D end of the world, but his movie stocking is full, nonetheless.

Remember those trailers for Stephen Daldry‘s adaptation of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close that we all cringed at? Well, how could you forget – they stick with you in a very off-putting way. Disappointingly, most of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close replicates that experience. Daldry’s a fine filmmaker, and with a script from Eric Roth – a writer who’s delivered his fair share of modern classics – one should expect more from their collaboration. What their combination delivered is a mostly stilted, heavy-handed, and, quite often, wrongly manipulative experience. I won’t dismiss the film as being “blatant Oscar bait,” seeing as it’s well-intentioned and earnest. Unfortunately, those intentions, in execution, feel false and empty. A real heart isn’t here to grab onto; only an artificial and cold one. The film constantly says how Oskar Schell (Thomas Horn) affects all these people he meets, but it never shows it. There are little glimpses of the child interacting with people on his quest, and whatever his effect may be holds no weight. The only emotional beat that somehow works is between Horn and Jeffrey Wright, despite the scene leaving one with the thought of, “Well, how’s this going to impact Wright’s character?” Sure, he’s seeing the beauty of a child desperately trying to find an answer, but in the grand scheme of things, the effect will probably be as powerful as a nice Christmas card: makes you smile and maybe makes your day, but a few days later, you’re no different.

Recently the big news hit that a hole in Clint Eastwood’s directing schedule was going to lead him into coming out of acting retirement and allow him to star in a new movie called Trouble With the Curve. The story centers on a baseball scout who is losing his sight and getting too old for his job and who embarks on a final road trip/scouting mission with his adult daughter. Apparently, she’s there to help him scout a hot young prospect, but I’m willing to bet some daddy/daughter bonding is going to go on as well. Just call it a hunch. Reports were going around soon after the film was announced that Sandra Bullock was in negotiations to play the daughter, but those negotiations must not have gone too well, because she never signed, and now Variety is reporting that Amy Adams has been offered the role instead. Apparently Bullock’s schedule was too full to fit the movie in, so Warner Bros. is hoping that Adams will be more flexible. I think this is a good move for the studio all around. Adams isn’t as big of a name as Bullock, but that means she will probably come cheaper. And, also, she comes with the added perk of being so much better than Sandra Bullock.

It was just a couple days ago that we were talking about Clint Eastwood’s return to acting after an ill-advised brush with retirement. Because of a hole in his schedule he was looking to sign on to star in a film called Trouble With the Curve, which is about an aged baseball scout going on a road trip with his adult daughter. Now it’s looking like Eastwood taking the role is a done deal, because he and his producing partner Robert Lorenz are shopping around to find actresses for the role of the daughter. According to Twitch, the duo has locked in on Sandra Bullock, who they’re currently in negotiations to join the film. In my original report on this movie I said that I was a little disappointed that it would be about Eastwood taking a trip with a woman rather than taking a trip with an orangutan, and I have to say that the potential of Bullock being cast is making me lean even further toward that direction. I know that people must like her, she’s even won an award for acting, but I’m just not a fan. What say you? Can you see Bullock rising to the occasion and pulling off playing the fruit of Eastwood’s loins, or should they just do the right thing and go after Holly Hunter?

Full disclosure: I have not read Jonathan Safran Foer‘s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I read his Everything is Illuminated and it just wasn’t my bag, so it’s fair to say that a part of me has been dreading the latest film adaptation of one of his novels. Stephen Daldry‘s take on the material seems a bit pre-packaged for the proper type of awards season buzz, what with its heavy hitter cast (Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Viola Davis, and Jeffrey Wright), the vaguely stunt-y casting of its young lead (Thomas Horn, a non-actor who reportedly got the part after his win on Jeopardy!), and a Christmas Day release date. There’s also the very premise of the book. The plot centers around young Oskar Schell, a kid genius who loses his dad in the 9/11 attacks. After Oskar finds a key in his dad’s belongings, he sets out to find out the meaning behind the key. Of course, he discovers much more along the way. And while that all sounds sort of twee and innocent and sad, I had a feeling about how the material would be brought to the screen, a bad feeling that’s only aggravated by this first trailer for the film, which you can watch after the break.

It will be interesting to see how audiences respond to a film about 9/11 being released on the tenth anniversary of 9/11. On the one hand, it feels like a great reminder and bittersweet tribute. On the other, it could be the hand that rips the bandaid off uncovering the wound again. Still, since the film Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is based off the superb writing of Jonathan Safran Foer (check out Everything is Illuminated as well), and being helmed by poetic Oscar nominee Stephen Daldry, there’s little chance that it won’t be soaring and heartfelt. Now, John Goodman has joined Oscar winners Sandra Bullock and Tom Hanks for the story of a young boy who loses his father in the 9/11 attacks and goes on a journey with a key his father gave him to find where it fits. [THR]

If there’s one thing that every single human being on the planet is talking about right now, it’s the Home Shopping Network. They just can’t get enough of the damned thing. All the cubic zirconium and credit card fraud and shiny inhuman smiles. It’s even more popular than Facebook. This message, of course, is brought to you by the 1980s and Uncle Jasper’s Removable Shoulder Pads For Women. Universal continues to stay on the cutting edge with a new project about said televised storefront that’s being written/directed/produced by Sex and the City and Sex and the City 2: Hot Flashes writer/director/producer Michael Patrick King. The parts (that haven’t been written yet) were developed specifically for Oprah, Meryl Streep, and Sandra Bullock. Fortunately, they have taken the roles. Unfortunately, Sandra Bullock took Meryl Streep’s role. Fortunately, Streep is playing Oprah. In other news, the Home Shopping Network still exists. [Cinema Blend]

Sandra Bullock might be returning to sci-fi. It’s been 17 years since Demolition Man, but the actress may need to brush up on her three shell method for Alfonso Cuaron. An offer to star in Gravity is currently still out to Natalie Portman, but if she passes, Bullock is next on the list for a call from Warners. It’s a natural choice after earlier concerns about Angelina Jolie passing. After all, if Jolie won’t do it, who do you hire? How about an actress that made more money for studios in 2009 and won an Oscar? [Cinema Blend]

A brief history of the Movie Star and why it’s currently gasping for breath.

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; what you crave. Every week, inexplicably, I revisit Planet Schlock and return to Earth with a few nuggets of awful from the planet surface. I then batter them in unchecked adoration and self-loathing and deep fry them in snark.

It was one of the biggest hits of 2009, not just for audiences but also for star Sandra Bullock’s career. Heck, she won an Oscar for it, after all. And that gave her a reason to raise a glass and toast the Academy. Now that The Blind Side is out on DVD and Blu-ray, we can raise our glasses along with Sandra Bullock while we watch the film at home.

Read as we break down the films nominated for Best Picture and what their chances are of taking home the prize. We’re pretty sure it won’t be Crash.

This year has been a strange one for acting performances. In a big way, the only category to fully reflect the new diversity that the Academy seems to be going for is the Best Actress category in which we see a Southern mom, a famous author’s wife, a young girl finding her purpose, a young girl finding her purpose through intense hardship, and a former spy who wants to take cooking lessons.

This week’s Culture Warrior talks about something that never makes anybody uncomfortable: RACE!

Kevin Carr heads out to the movies this week, giving his take on New Moon, Planet 51, The Blind Side and Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire

Neil squeals about Team Jacob in his review of the highly anticipated The Twilight Saga: New Moon while Kevin struts around the Magical Studio in the Sky with no shirt on, desperately hoping people will mistake him for Taylor Lautner. There’s also a bizarre discussion of where Somali Pirates might fit into one of this week’s movies… how does that all work? Listen and find out!

We haven’t written much about it yet, but I can tell you that a few folks here at Reject HQ really enjoyed the inspirational story behind Warner Bros. Pictures’ upcoming sports drama The Blind Side.

Kevin Carr looks ahead to this week’s movie releases, taking aim at Gamer and All About Steve while being a little kinder to Extract..

So here we are with another weekend of movies that Hollywood deemed unfit for critical consumption. Meh! Such is Labor Day weekend. Go rent a DVD or Blu-ray instead of heading to the cinemas. There’s much more quality stuff out at the video store than in the theaters this week.

Kevin Carr reviews this week’s new movies: The Proposal and Year One.