What exactly is this new movie Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges are starring in, called R.I.P.D.? In one respect it’s a comic book movie, seeing as it was adapted from a Peter M. Lenkov graphic novel. In another it’s your typical buddy cop movie, seeing as it teams the new guy on a police force up with the grizzled veteran and sends them out on a case. When you watch this new trailer for the film, you can make connections between it and Men in Black, Ghostbusters, or heck.. even Robocop, so any way you slice it, it sounds like a genre fan’s dream come true. That’s in concept though, in execution things tend not to be so cut and dry, so you’re probably going to have to hit the jump and check out the trailer for yourself.

One of this summer’s less-heralded comic adaptations is Universal’s supernaturally-tinged buddy cop flick R.I.P.D. starring Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds. The latter plays a cop who’s gunned down in the line of duty but comes back to life and joins a very special police unit. The Rest In Peace Department is staffed with undead law enforcement tasked with capturing evil souls, and with their help he sets out to find those responsible for his murder. If it sounds like a mash-up between Dead Heat and Men In Black it’s because it pretty much is a mash-up between Dead Heat and Men In Black. The film is based on the Dark Horse comic series by Peter M. Lenkov and hits theaters July 19th.

In DreamWorks‘ Turbo a snail (voiced by Ryan Reynolds) dreams of racing in the Indy 500. Like all snails. Check with National Geographic. They’ll confirm. It’s a simple premise that could work really well for the studio’s sense of humor, and the new trailer is nothing but promise. Great design, a few kooky side characters, the usual fish-out-of-water following his ridiculous dreams set up. It’s a superhero movie where the accident happens to a gastropod. Check it out the trailer for yourself:

What is Casting Couch? Today it’s the casting roundup with news about a talking raccoon, a frog puppet, a famous dog, a beautiful woman, and David Hasselhoff’s shorts. So far Marvel’s next big thing, The Guardians of the Galaxy, has been a great source of casting rumors, but not yet a generator of any casting confirmations. We’ve heard about a bevy of actors who might play Star-Lord, a handful who might be Drax the Destroyer, and now the Latino Review is reporting that director James Gunn and company are reaching out to both Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler to inquire about their availability for the film. What roles might they play? Perhaps they could provide the voices for either the big tree guy, Groot, or the little raccoon guy, Rocket Raccoon. I mean, it would just be too weird if either of them actually showed up playing a live action role, wouldn’t it? Definitely. Even hearing Sandler’s one goofy voice he uses coming out of a CG character’s mouth would just be too weird already. Let’s hope that rumor is completely off base.

What’s this? A movie about racing featuring the same pulse-pounding synth soundtrack as Drive, complete with a voiceover from a sultry leading man talking about the dangers of living life in the fast lane? Is this the animated sequel to Drive that we never knew we wanted? Nope. This is a movie about a snail. The first trailer for Turbo, the new Dreamworks Animation project from the creative teams behind Madagascar and Kung Fu Panda, doesn’t exactly tell us what the film is about. But it is fun, nonetheless. The movie, as it turns out, is about a garden snail who dreams of becoming the fastest snail in the world, only to find himself the victim of a freak accident that might just grant him his wish. Ryan Reynolds leads a voice cast that includes the likes of Paul Giamatti, Luis Guzman, Richard Jenkins, Samuel L. Jackson, Maya Rudolph and Snoop Dogg. In the end, it’s a movie about a snail. Pretty harmless.

With a monkey slapping a man, a young girl going crazy for shoes, and a cranky grandma, The Croods isn’t straying too far from the formula for harmless family comedy. It just happens to feature the world’s first family. Nic Cage voices Grug, the pater familias of the pre-historic crew that includes his wife Ugga (Catherine Keener), daughter Eep (Emma Stone), son Thunk (Clark Duke) and mother Gran (Cloris Leachman). Everything is safe and isolated in their cave until an earthquake forces them on an adventure into beautiful, lush new territory where they meet a citizen of the brave new world voiced by Ryan Reynolds. The new trailer is fun in a sweet way, selling a movie about taking risks by playing it as safe as possible. Still, Dreamworks may have a new winner on their hands:

According to The Tracking Board, Ryan Reynolds has nailed down the theoretically coveted role of Conner MacLeod for the reboot of The Highlander being directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo. Insert your own “there can be only one” joke here. So, okay. The truth is that mustering up any form of excitement for this news or this project is just too much work. It’s the movie equivalent of room temperature tap water. Of course, I can’t wait to hear Reynolds’ Scottish accent attempt, but other than that, what is there to care about? Is this really what you get rewarded with for making a flick as imaginative as Intacto? Or for showing excellent acting range in The Nines? Not to sound anti-mainstream, but there can’t be anything left in the Highlander well. There just can’t.  

Back in February, Safe House became the second movie of the year to crack $100 million. (The first, sadly enough, was The Vow, but who really wants to think about that?) With this film, Denzel Washington continued his successful box office streak, and Ryan Reynolds found a bit of redemption after last summer’s lesser-grossing Green Lantern. With Safe House on Blu-ray and DVD this week, it’s time to enjoy this film again or check it out for the first time. While you do so, have a couple drinks and remind yourself that your life is far less interesting than a CIA agent’s, but it’s likely a lot less dangerous.

What is Movie News After Dark DRINKING? It’s the end result of a long work day, a half dozen mini doughnuts, a glass of cheap Canadian whisky, Robert Fure, and a keyboard. Suck on it, suckers! This week’s movie news after Drinking is brought to you by Revel Stoke spiced whisky (We should not get paid for this because I’m not drinking this again. Or no we should still get paid, but I’m not drinking this again). But basically the deal is I get kind of drunk and then try to type up a whole bunch of movie news before my arms stop working. If you’re wondering why I’m typing all this nonsense, it’s because we need a certain amount of buffer before we move into the news to put a proper text break in here. But totally keep reading because Will Smith NO JOKE SLAPS A RUSSIAN IN THE FACE IN THE FIRST STORY. (OH LOOK AT ME I’M FRILMCRIT HULK BECAUSE THIS IS ALL CAPITALS)

When it was said that “there can be only one,” obviously the original Highlander movie was referring to mystical, sword-wielding immortals and not movies about mystical, sword-wielding immortals because, despite the fact that we were down to one by the end of that first film, sequels were made. And now Lionsgate-Summit seems to be well on their way to making a reboot a reality. They’ve already got Juan Carlos Fresnadillo (28 Weeks Later) on board to direct and a script from screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg, so, after a little casting, things should be good to go. In an earlier press release announcing the project Summit described this new Highlander’s plot by saying, “In Highlander, after centuries of dueling to survive against others like him, Connor MacLeod, an immortal Scottish swordsman must confront the last of his kind, a murderously brutal barbarian, who lusts for the Prize.” So, basically this is a straight remake of the first film, and though Christopher Lambert was still looking pretty spry the last time I saw him, he’s definitely aged out of playing a hunky immortal. Simply put, we’re gonna need a younger Connor MacLeod.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr dresses up in his Jedi robes and grabs his lightsaber, heading to the theater to see the 3D re-release of Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace. While there, he faces a sea of estrogen as ladies of all type swarm into the multiplex to see Channing Tatum’s abs multiflex. After using his lightsaber to break through the wall of pre-Valentine’s Day ladies, he faces more obstacles with twentysomething dudes heading out to see Safe House and obnoxious families to see Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Fortunately for Kevin, he is able to dispatch everyone with his Rock-inspired “pec pop of love.” It was an early Valentine’s Day massacre.

If Hollywood has taught us anything about the CIA it’s that those bastards really can’t be trusted. The exception to the rule is that the lower the character is on the agency’s totem pole the more honorable and good they’ll most likely be. They’re naive idealists who have yet to be molded by the big, bad world into heartless, morally bankrupt pricks motivated by warped patriotism and self interest. Which brings us to Matt Weston (Ryan Reynolds), a low level agent stationed at the same, boring post for the last twelve months. He’s a “housekeeper” at a safe house in Cape Town, South Africa, and every day he waits for a coded call alerting him to the imminent arrival of an incoming “guest.” The call finally comes when Tobin Frost (Denzel Washington) mysteriously turns himself into the local US embassy after a decade on the run as an ex-agent turned traitor and killer. He’s moved to the safe house and immediately interrogated via water-boarding and harsh language. But when the inaccurately named safe house is attacked by a gaggle of heavily armed men Weston finds himself tasked with his guest’s safety and on the run from killers both foreign and domestic. The result is a film that offers no surprises in its story or character arcs but still manages to thrill with some stellar action sequences and two talented and charismatic leads. (That’s right. Two.)

Amidst the pinky-out prestige of awards season sits the manic pixie of The People’s Choice Awards. Perhaps they can easily be dismissed by the cinephile crowd for not being nearly well-rounded or interesting enough, but looking at the nominees and the winners can provide a bird’s eye view into the abyss of mass-entertainment. With over 200 million votes cast, according to a press release, the winners included Emma Stone, Ryan Reynolds as The Green Lantern, Adam Sandler‘s comedy and Bridesmaids. To put that into perspective, that’s a ridiculous amount of people. To really put it into perspective, it’s 7.6 million more people than the entire population of Brazil, and it’s 2/3rds the population of the United States. The giant, faceless wad of “the people” have made these their movie champions of 2011:

Just because it was raked over the critical coals this past summer doesn’t mean that Green Lantern can’t be fun. And even though St. Patrick’s Day is five months away, this would be a perfect time to get your hands on some green beer and watch the film again on DVD or Blu-ray (or if you’re really ambitious, on 3D Blu-ray). Remember that a Green Lantern’s might comes from the power of will. Here is your chance to test the strength of your will and intestinal fortitude. Who knows? By the end of the movie, you might just believe that you can create things with your mind.

Narrator Ryan Reynolds introduces us to the story of Luna by way of simple metaphor – it was as if he was a child in a grocery store, a child who turned around and found his family missing, no longer in the same aisle, and when he went looking for them, he went down the wrong aisle. In July of 2001, the two year old Orca whale calf appeared in Nootka Sound, a complex inlet on the northern west coast of Vancouver Island, an area that was hundreds of kilometers from the normal grounds of the Southern Resident Killer Whale of which Luna was a part (having been tracked by the scientists that study that community since soon after his birth in 1999). Luna was alone. Orcas do not do well alone. What scientists know about the pod structure that Orcas live in hinges almost totally on one prevailing element – the pod is the most important thing. Orca families stay together forever. Those who study the whales have come to believe that their socialization needs are more profound and more strong than even those of humans. So what was Luna going to do, a veritable toddler alone in a wide stretch of sea? If he was another whale, Luna might have just faded away, but this was Luna, and if The Whale wants us to know one thing, it is this – Luna was special, Luna came to Nootka Sound for a reason, Luna was something different.

In a genius casting move, R.I.P.D. has brought on Victoria’s Secret model Marisa Miller to act as a beautiful, empty vessel. That’s not a knock on Ms. Miller (who I don’t know personally and couldn’t judge), but a grand statement on the minor trend of hiring models to act. So far, the scientific results of the experiment have been a failure. Although, in a karmic way, I imagine it’s partial payback for so many movie stars being hired as voice actors. They push voice actors out of work, and now models are pushing them out of jobs. The only end to this circle is to see voice actors become models. Billy West in a bikini is our new future now. In the film, Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges both play dead detectives who wrap up cases with dead souls who refuse to move on. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Miller will play the body that Bridges’s character chooses to manifest his ghostly self as when walking amongst the living. It sounds like a small role to be used solely as a gag (and hopefully with Bridges’s gruff tones coming out of Miller’s mouth). So, yes, in a play of stunning exactitude, a super model has been hired to walk around, look good and be inhabited by a better actor.

Press conferences can be many things – informative, entertaining, boring, long, short, disastrous, fluffy, bullshit, and sometimes even honest. Happily, sitting in on the junket for The Change-Up, I found this press conference to be three of my favorites: entertaining, brief, and honest. With a movie like The Change-Up, you’re really going to come across any ground breaking information – after all, it’s just a comedy. Not to belittle comedies or anything, but it’s not a gigantic science fiction beast, a gigantic budgeted translation of a famed comic-book, nor is it a gigantic spectacle of shit blowing up. If you’re looking for brilliant insight into the film-making process, you’re barking up the wrong tree. However, if you want to hear me talk about who the most attractive men in the room where, Leslie Mann’s breasts, and David Dobkin’s color pallete, well keep on readin’ on.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr heads into a lab to liberate some apes, but they rise up, beat him down and fling their poo all over him. He washes up and heads home to his family, secretly longing for the swinging lifestyle of fellow FSR staffers like Neil Miller, Robert Fure and Rob Hunter. But since he doesn’t get a chance to pee in a fountain with any of them, he doesn’t get a chance to switch bodies with them, a la The Change-Up. This is probably a good thing because few people can take the awesomessness of his body.

It’s a tale as old as time and as stale as those left-over everything bagels you brought home from the office two Fridays ago. Two humans living organisms, as different as night and day, cats and dogs, pee pee and poo poo, by some magical occurence swap bodies. Or minds. Or something. With literally dozens of iterations over the years, one would correctly wonder what was left to explore in the body swap comedy. As it turns out, there is, or was, at least one viable and comedic avenue left unexplored: the R-Rating. Make no mistake, The Change-Up strives to be R-Rated. Perhaps falling short of the hard R of The Hangover (John Lucas & Scott Moore wrote both), director David Dobkin peppers the screen with breasts (more on those later), urination scenes, two instances of diarrhea, a thumb in the asshole, and plenty of other inappropriate gags and the endangerment of children.

While enduring the mild pain caused by Transformers: Dark of the Moon, I thought to myself, “Man, this Sam character is a real prick. What type of people actually like this person? This is the best savior we could get?” I then realized that I often find myself thinking this nowadays. We rarely get great, likable heroes or genuine badasses on film anymore. Most are either mopey, passive, or do morally questionable acts. I’m not referring to anti-heroes — although, I do include one on the list — but, rather, the unintentionally lame mainstream characters that aren’t the most compelling or charming. A few of these not-so-heroic characters aren’t due to bad acting. As you’ll notice, Leonardo DiCaprio made the list for Inception, where he gave a solid performance. While I wouldn’t say that most of the actors featured here impressed anyone, DiCaprio and a few others certainly did. Here are ten mainstream characters that exhibit very little heroics: