What if there were a shirt that would drive women around you into an uncontrollable sexual stupor? That’s the central conceit behind Chick Magnet, and of course the second big question is how to explain to her why you want to keep your shirt on during sex. The trailer for the low budget sex comedy definitely shows its limitations, but there’s at least a little bit to chuckle at here and a heart that will inevitably be involved (since one of the characters wants to use the shirt to get his crappy ex-wife back). Plus, somehow the production tricked Tracy Morgan, Kristen Bell and Rosario Dawson into making appearances as themselves. For those keeping score, an unknown writer/director and writer/producer (named Ryan R. Williams and Jeff Venables) created a movie where every woman wants to sex them up, and they somehow convinced Bell and Dawson to be two of those women. So, yeah, check it out:

Sylvester Stallone voices a lion, teaches Kevin James how to woo the likes of Leslie Bibb. Somehow, some way, Zookeeper is going to be a smash hit just like Paul Blart: Mall Cop. And by smash, I’m of course referring to the collective heads of smart people everywhere and their relationships to nearby walls. But remember, Columbia Pictures wouldn’t be making movies like this if movies like Grown Ups didn’t gross $268 million worldwide. It’s our own damn fault. As penance, lets all watch the trailer together.

The antidote for your boring day (at least your boring day today) is this new trailer for Girl Walks Into a Bar which might seem like another sequel in the sequence of Sebastian Gutierrez’s Vagina Dialogues (aka Women in Trouble and Elektra Luxx), but even though a lot of the actors are the same, this one seems to take place in a new universe altogether. This trailer is a hell of a lot of fun, which is why I love Gutierrez’s movies. They’re smart, wacky, ridiculous and heartfelt. Plus, there are multitudes of remarkably beautiful women in various states of undress showing off their acting chops like there’s no tomorrow. Write a strongly worded letter to Congress, because there just isn’t anything wrong with that. Check out the trailer for yourself:

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr is like a runaway train filled with toxic chemicals. He could derail and explode at any moment. And it’s a good thing Tony Scott isn’t making a movie of his life because there aren’t enough whip pans and helicopter shots to capture his awesomeness. While he raps Scott’s knuckles with a railroad tie, he also gets giddy over the beautiful Rachel McAdams and gives some props to the Brothers Strause for the effects in Skyline. And then he explodes, and all the toxic chemicals threaten to wipe out a small town in Pennsylvania.

Kevin James turns to captive animals for relationship advice. Expect dates filled with poo flinging, leg humping, and awkward sex. (Robert Fure will most likely identify.)

We make it sound like it could be some kind of twisted, psycho-sexual, torture porn thriller don’t we? But no. It’s a romantic comedy.

Shelved! will be a very infrequent feature here at FSR where we briefly examine possible reasons as to why the film was buried then review the movie to see if it was shelved with good cause or if it deserves a space on your shelf. This week… Killshot starring Mickey Rourke!

Every week, we find a new Worst Film Ever and deliver it to you as a public service. These films should be avoided at all costs, but if you absolutely have to see them, strap on your rosary beads and prepare to lose your faith in film!

Ben Thomas (Will Smith) is an IRS agent with a nasty secret in his past. And in an attempt to atone for his sins, he has begun tracking down seven individuals whose situations he could drastically change. But along the way he meets a beautiful woman named Emily (Rosario Dawson), who might also change him in return.

Try this game and see if you can make it through the movie. Either you’ll pass out from too much booze… or you’ll pass out from sheer boredom.

Kevin Carr looks at Yes Man, Seven Pounds, The Tale of Despereaux and The Wrestler, in theaters this week with the FSR Report Card.

The first trailer for the Columbia Pictures drama Seven Pounds, starring Will Smith, has been leaked onto the web.

Speaking of long stories people shouldn’t subjected to, Eagle Eye came out in theaters on Friday. Let’s just say, the Logic Nazi on this project really screwed the pooch.

We already brought you a private chat with Eagle Eye director D.J. Caruso, and now we’ve got video spots with the entire cast.

From the same team that got us all excited then left us profoundly disappointed with Batman: Gotham Knight comes Wonder Woman. Though thankfully, when I say “team” I am referring to the producers and up.

In his quest to take over the world of cinema, Shia LaBeouf will next appear in Eagle Eye, a project that unites him with Disturbia director D.J. Caruso.

We take a break from drinking like sailors to see movies, stalk celebs and then… drink more!

Shia LaBeouf is at the point right now where he could do no wrong, and his films carry about the same odds of being a blockbuster as me never getting to bed Jessica Alba.

Death Proof opens on a pair of shapely feet, with polished toes, natch, resting on a sunlit dashboard. Tarantino needn’t even bother putting his name in the credits anymore.