For the past decade or so Rob Cohen has made a career out of doing films that people’s little brothers would like. From The Fast and the Furious, to xXx, to Stealth, all of the guy’s work epitomizes the sort of aesthetic that can make a 15-year-old boy look up from his portable gaming system and go, “that looks pretty cool.” So what do you imagine his next film is going to be about? Snow boarding assassins, drag racing bikini models, or President Obama declaring that homework is outlawed? No, not even close. Try, the Korean War. With 1950, Cohen will be telling the life story of Marguerite Higgins. She was a journalist working for the New York Herald Tribune as their Far East bureau chief and is something of a feminist figure. Higgins was banned by the US Army from covering the war in Korea because she was a woman, but eventually became so persistent in her intentions to do so that she not only got to cover the war like all of her male colleagues, she also got permission from Douglas MacArthur to work on the front lines.

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema: if you don’t leave now, it’s consensual. This is the part of the internet where your intrepid host (or, in this case, your intrepid host’s wife) dons her finest Middle Age-y costume, unsheathes her silver Nerf sword and just starts whaling on an awful, maleficent movie. And yet–probably as a consequence of some ambiguous plot device early in my childhood–I check the killing stroke, throw down my weapon and extend my hand in peace to this humbled, repentant film. I cement our bond by throwing a feast in its honor and invite our reader (yes, singular) to indulge in a snack specially tailored to the film: not only not fit for a king, but probably not legal in any monarchical government. This week’s mistake of draconian proportions: Dragonheart

Alex Cross is a reoccurring character in the novels of James Patterson. His stories have already been adapted for the screen a couple times with Morgan Freeman playing the lead role. Those films were Kiss the Girls and Along Came a Spider. Well now the character is looking to get a reboot with Tyler Perry as the lead. It’s old news that I, Alex Cross is being directed by xXx and The Fast and the Furious director Rob Cohen, but there is some new casting news to report. Mathew Fox has signed on in a key role as an assassin. Add to that the fact that Ed Burns is going to play Cross’ assistant Tommy Kane, and this looks like a movie that is starting to come together. But I’m not sure how I feel about it. I think a lot of people have been trained to see Tyler Perry’s name and treat it as a joke, but he’s made some things that are more dramatic than those cheesy black family sitcoms and cross dressing Madea movies that he is known for. And I saw him act in Star Trek and it wasn’t bad. Rob Cohen’s movies I can’t really defend, but they’ve managed to make a lot of money from what I can tell. Still, just give me those two names and I, Alex Cross sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

Remember when we reported this back in 2008? Apparently it’s still true. Just letting you know!

Columbia Pictures is in talks with producer Joe Roth for a new version of xXx, one that would bring back star Vin Diesel and director Rob Cohen. The question is: why?

Due to the overwhelming audience response to the recent The Mummy: The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Rob Cohen and friends are already planning (threatening?) to birth a fourth film in the family friendly franchise.

It’s another mummy to fight, but this time from ancient China. Break out a pack of Tsingtao and toast to the new version of the mummy, with Maria Bello, no less.

See, that’s the perfect example of a tricky title. If you’re like me, a huge fan of the original Fred Dekker 1987 classic Monster Squad you’re probably hoping for news of a sequel. If you’re a cynic, you may have automatically just assumed that this was, yes, a remake.