The inevitable has finally happened – I’ve confused Resident Evil with Underworld and somehow completely forgotten that there is yet another Resident Evil film on the way. My confusion might just be a mask for basic ennui, but it’s unclear at this point. In any case, look, there’s another Resident Evil film. According to its first teaser trailer, it appears to borrow (pretty loosely) from equal parts The Thing, its own mythology, Dawn of the Dead, and Independence Day, with a dash of The Fast and the Furious hat-tipping (you’ll know it when you see it). I can’t make heads or tails of it, and that’s likely due to two things: one, I haven’t watched an R.E. film all the way through since the first one, and two, this teaser trailer is essentially a Sony ad. No, not like, “oh, there’s a lot of product placement in this trailer!” more like “oh, there’s about 30 seconds of a film trailer in the middle of this Sony ad.” It’s a weird enough move already, and one that will likely be mocked for quite a bit, but what’s even weirder is that, if the trailer is taken literally, it means that the rest of the world in Resident Evil is having a super-fun, technology-connected good time while America smolders into monster-laced ash. So, you know, fun. Check out the first trailer (sort of?) for Resident Evil: Retribution after the break.

Resident Evil: Afterlife was awful. On no uncertain terms, it was slow (literally), boring, and had some of the worst action that an action film has put on the screen since Terminator Salvation. Which, of course, means that there will be another one. Not only did the film promise one in its closing moments, the box office take was strong, and Milla Jovovich is promising one. She’s also claiming that the production is talking to fans to get input – so now that you have their ear, what would you want? [Vulture]

Sorry to have denied you all for so long. I know that secretly the only project you cared about at Comic-Con was Resident Evil: Afterlife, the 3D fourth installment of the strangely popular and oddly addicting video game adaptation series. Paul W.S. Anderson is back in the director’s chair for this go-round after having abandoned ship post the first film – which in my opinion, is the worst of three. Potentially a bad sign. I’d love to take this write-up seriously, but having seen the trailer I can’t really do so, seeing as how I’m not sure the movie took itself seriously. At all. Sure, there is something to be said for campy fun, but if you’re going to talk about how your camera costs $100,000 and came from the set of Avatar, you might want to hit “Record-Normal” rather than “Record-Ultra Slow Motion.” You may also want to consider turning off the sprinklers.

Hollywood hasn’t quite been able to grasp the video game adaptation, which is a shame. Because, much like the power glove, most video game films are so bad.

For a second, you had to think about which Paul Anderson is the good one. Feel free to read this news and wonder what a PTA Buck Rogers would look like drinking your milkshake.

It doesn’t matter if you call it a cartoon – if there are zombies and headshots, The Coroner is there. Check the pulse of the first all computer animated Resident Evil movie and see if its a live one or DOA.