Currently Browsing: "Remakes"

When I first heard that a remake of It’s Alive was in the works, it struck me as odd. After all, It’s Alive was, itself, little more than a remake of Rosemary’s Baby.

The production’s still in the early stages of monster development, but “moviegoers can expect an upscale creature feature along the lines of… Pan’s Labyrinth.”

MTV, in their infinite wisdom, has decided to remake Rocky Horror. Why? I don’t know.

Although the project is unnamed as of yet, Variety seems to have an incredibly detailed description of its projected plot, reporting that the movie will revolve around a “calamity” that ensues when “people ignore a monster due to their desire for money.”

It looks as though Struggle Pretty Captive and Reign of Tera star Tera Patrick may be joining colleagues Jenna Jameson and Sasha Grey in making the move from mainstream porn to, well, mainstream Hollywood film.

Modern film geeks seem to complain a lot about remakes. Whether they are needless, obvious commercialism for commercialism’s sake, or flat out assaulting childhoods, it’s a safe bet to rail on any film that’s been done before. Would we have felt the same way in 1956 when Alfred Hitchcock redid his own film, The Man Who Knew Too Much?

That title is really just me trying to reach out to all of you and let you know that I have, in fact, seen the original 1951 version of The Day the Earth Stood Still.

Add a few more classics to the giant remake bonfire.

Back in the fall the intern was all abuzz with scandal, intrigue and shenanigans surrounded Grindhouse babe Rose McGowan and Sin City director Robert Rodriguez. And no, I am not talking about all the sexy sleaze that could be found on the pages of Defamer.com, I am referring to the alleged casting of McGowan in the title role of Barbarella.

There is no more creativity in Hollywood any more, is there? At least not in the slasher film market. They haven’t just remade the classics. They’re remaking the crap too. So, Hollywood, my present to you: A list of log lines for potential slasher movies based on either holidays other notable dates important to high school kids.

One of the first things out of someone’s mouth when it comes to a remake is “But the original is a classic!” No. Often times they’re not. They suck just as bad. Or worse.

Did you ever hear the joke about how to get rid of a blond? You put her on the highway and say “walk to the end.”

The movie is 80 years old, so in the remake world that means its roughly 4 times older than it should be before being remade.

The rumor mill has see-sawed back and forth as to whether there’ll simply be a sequel or a complete remake, and the verdict is finally in.

While I’m sure I’m pretty lonely in the fan-boat of the 1984 B-Masterpiece C.H.U.D. there is at least one other person in here with me – Rob Zombie.

Reports are coming in that the 1952 classic High Noon is next up on the remake block.