According to The Hollywood Reporter, newcomer Matthew Lieberman has been signed to write the Short Circuit reboot going on over at Dimension Films. He’d previously written the not-at-all-liked Dr. Doolittle: Tail to the Chief which went straight to video on the coattails of the Eddie Murphy movies, but this project is an interesting way to get a foot in the door of the feature world. What’s more important is that Tim Hill is set to be the director. Hill’s recent work includes Alvin and the Chipmunks, Hop and Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (apparently everyone involved loves “tail” puns). All of that sounds awful, but once upon a time, Hill also directed Muppets From Space. How someone got from weird and wonderful to boringly broad and homogenous is anyone’s guess. Forget it, fans. It’s Chinatown. That’s sad, but the most fascinating thing about bring back Johnny Five to life is that instead of appealing to a movie geek crowd, the production is attempting to take a character from a strange little 80s movie that’s been reduced to a catch phrase and make him a children’s entertainment icon. To do that, Hill and company will be able to sidestep the treacherous balance between old fans and new by completely disregarding old fans. Of course, the bigger question will be whether a robot movie like this will fly in a time where actual robots are running our lives for us. Will Johnny look like an Erector Set that talks or will [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

As I suspect that most reports of this news will fall on the side of snark with a side of pleading with a holy entity to explain why this is befalling humanity, I have chosen to present this news as straight as possible. Otherwise, I might combust. New Line Cinema has hired a director to reboot the Police Academy franchise, a series of seven films from the 80s and 90s that followed the humorous disasters that befell a group of unsuitable police trainees. Because, obviously, there is nothing funnier than the concept of morons, idiots, and losers serving and protecting their community. The series most notably starred Steve Guttenberg and that one guy who made all those sounds. The reboot was apparently announced back in February, but it appears that I’ve blocked that memory from my mind, because it was simply too heinous and bizarre to remember. New Line has picked Scott Zabielski to direct what we can only assume is the first film in a new franchise, marking Zabielski’s first foray into feature directing. Zabielski’s primary directing credit is as helmer of fifty-one episodes of Comedy Central’s Tosh.0, a job that apparently proves his ability to direct an offering that is almost totally regurgitated clips and jokes. So, somewhat perfect.

In all fairness, Daredevil is not a bad movie to take a mulligan on. Plus, if the rumor is true, they’ve got a solid talent at the wheel. According to Variety, David Slade will be directing a new entry into the Daredevil world for Fox. Call it a reboot, a sequel, a redo, a second shot or whatever you want, but the film won’t feature Ben Affleck or make mention of the previous film. So, it’s a reboot. Just for fun, if we consider the Spider-Man retooling going on and this new announcement, the timeline for when we’ll see other reboots becomes clear. The 2002 Spider-Man is now a 2012 version. The 2003 Daredevil will now probably be 2012 as well, meaning that we might see reboots of 2004′s Hellboy at some point, followed next by 2005′s Sin City, and 2006′s V For Vendetta. The new Superman puts a dent in that imaginary timeline, but the point is clear: the cycle must start over. We’ve run out of comic books to make. That’s just a best guess as to what order they’ll come around again in. Hopefully we’ll hear word of the Batman rebooting no more than ten minutes after The Dark Knight Rises premieres.

Buried deep, deep, oh so deep within the rotting ruins where creativity used to lie, GK Films has wiped the cobwebs off of a franchise and is ready to bring it back to life. All obligatory complaints about reboots aside, it might actually be cool to see a female Indiana Jones kicking ass and taking treasure again. There’s nothing wrong with having fun, and those video games provide the high concept starting point to get that particular popcorn job done. According to Deadline Derby, GK wants to see the first new Lara Croft film hit theaters in 2013, with tentative plans for sequels after that. Now the speculation begins. Since Angelina Jolie is a long-shot to return to this thing, what new blood should take over the tan shorts and awkward thigh-gripping gun holsters?

Now that the Academy Awards have told us that the best film of 2010 is The King’s Speech the next few months of DVD releases are bound to be filled with mediocrity and bitter disappointment until Tom Hooper’s directorial tour-de-force hits shelves. Speaking of unappealing and visually disturbing movies, Burlesque comes out today! 127 Hours and Love & Other Drugs are probably the week’s highest profile releases, but the best actually come courtesy of of Acorn Media with their British TV titles The Norman Conquests and Murder Investigation Team. One is a bitingly funny and smartly written comedy of manners and the other is about a team that investigates murders. Gustafer Yellowgold’s Infinity Sock Haven’t seen this one yet, but I was sold on the title. I hadn’t even heard of it before looking at a list of this week’s releases, so I checked out the DVD’s web site and discovered it’s actually a pretty popular character in the realm of children’s entertainment. The songs are catchy and dreamy in equal measure, like a Peter Gabriel-led Genesis (if you can imagine such a thing), and what it lacks in educational appeal it looks to more than make up in sheer pop entertainment. I may have to borrow a kid to justify the purchase…

Well it will be reconceived, whatever that shit means.