As I suspect that most reports of this news will fall on the side of snark with a side of pleading with a holy entity to explain why this is befalling humanity, I have chosen to present this news as straight as possible. Otherwise, I might combust. New Line Cinema has hired a director to reboot the Police Academy franchise, a series of seven films from the 80s and 90s that followed the humorous disasters that befell a group of unsuitable police trainees. Because, obviously, there is nothing funnier than the concept of morons, idiots, and losers serving and protecting their community. The series most notably starred Steve Guttenberg and that one guy who made all those sounds. The reboot was apparently announced back in February, but it appears that I’ve blocked that memory from my mind, because it was simply too heinous and bizarre to remember. New Line has picked Scott Zabielski to direct what we can only assume is the first film in a new franchise, marking Zabielski’s first foray into feature directing. Zabielski’s primary directing credit is as helmer of fifty-one episodes of Comedy Central’s Tosh.0, a job that apparently proves his ability to direct an offering that is almost totally regurgitated clips and jokes. So, somewhat perfect.

What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this stuff late at night, what do you expect?

Rejoice in another fantastic Reject Interview! As you can imagine, when discussing a movie of this emotional weight and dramatic consequence, we end up discussing Robin Williams’s penis for most of the piece.

The once-threatened Baywatch movie is moving forward, and it’s going to be a comedy!? Yes, an intentional one…

Remember Steve Guttenberg? The comic wit? The smirk? The abnormally well-defined pectoral muscles? No? Well he remembers you, and like that stalker ex-lover of yours he wants back in your life.