If there’s one thing that every single human being on the planet is talking about right now, it’s the Home Shopping Network. They just can’t get enough of the damned thing. All the cubic zirconium and credit card fraud and shiny inhuman smiles. It’s even more popular than Facebook. This message, of course, is brought to you by the 1980s and Uncle Jasper’s Removable Shoulder Pads For Women. Universal continues to stay on the cutting edge with a new project about said televised storefront that’s being written/directed/produced by Sex and the City and Sex and the City 2: Hot Flashes writer/director/producer Michael Patrick King. The parts (that haven’t been written yet) were developed specifically for Oprah, Meryl Streep, and Sandra Bullock. Fortunately, they have taken the roles. Unfortunately, Sandra Bullock took Meryl Streep’s role. Fortunately, Streep is playing Oprah. In other news, the Home Shopping Network still exists. [Cinema Blend]

Over the past few weeks, there has been a flurry of tribute for film critic Roger Ebert, much of which can be linked to a recent piece in Esquire that was very moving. And much has been said about this new voice software that may make him sound once again, like Roger Ebert. It’s a piece of software that we’ll be able to see in action today on Oprah.

Neil squeals about Team Jacob in his review of the highly anticipated The Twilight Saga: New Moon while Kevin struts around the Magical Studio in the Sky with no shirt on, desperately hoping people will mistake him for Taylor Lautner. There’s also a bizarre discussion of where Somali Pirates might fit into one of this week’s movies… how does that all work? Listen and find out!

Sometimes when I prep for this column, I scrounge to find ideas. However, there are also weeks when entertainment news is so filled with stupid stories that I can’t help but gather them together. As a New Year’s present, I offer you this hodge podge of WTF stories from the past week.