There is no better phrase to describe Nicholas Sparks‘s writing than “safe haven.” He’s found a structure that requires only that he shove in new character names and weaknesses, come up with some horrific tragedy to slam on the brakes near the end, and collect the checks. Strangely enough, director Lasse Hallström may have found his pattern as well, as Deadline Daytona is reporting that the veteran might sign on to direct the next appropriately titled Sparks adaptations. Safe Haven is the story of a young lady who doesn’t want to make friends, but then makes friends while stuffing her terrible secret deep, deep down. I haven’t read the book, but it’s shoe money that the secret comes out. And that a character we’ve grown to care about is diagnosed with Instant Death Disease with only 5 minutes left in the movie. Hallström broken his Sparks cherry with Dear John, and with his work on Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, it seems like he might be switching between curious storytelling and cookie-cutter, made-for-money Sparksian non-challenges. On the other hand, he’s no stranger to romances (like Chocolat), and it’ll be worthwhile if he can find a romantic sponsor for his other films. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of him making those other films (he’s signed on for a Danish crime drama called The Hypnotist for 2012 release), then what harm could it do?

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr damns the gods with reviews of Clash of the Titans, The Last Song and Why Did I Get Married Too?

Dear John never strikes the right balance between a Nicholas Sparks movie and a Lasse Hallström movie.

Walt Disney Pictures has released the first trailer for The Last Song, an adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel starring Miley Cyrus, Kelly Preston and Greg Kinnear. And I don’t know about you, but I’m just happy to see young Miley finally in a movie where Billy Ray Cyrus doesn’t also play her fictional father.

Due to the way he was affected by his screening of Nights in Rodanthe, Cole Abaius has decided to forego the standard review format. Instead, he will review the film in the form of an open letter to the filmmakers.

It appears that Miley Cyrus is looking to grow up and get into the movie business, but it doesn’t appear that she’s ready to do it without her Disney handlers just yet.

Before you get too excited about the title, please note that this news has nothing to do with Mamma Mia! hottie Amanda Seyfried playing a hooker.