We continue our journey through a month of frightening, bloody and violent films. For more, check out our 31 Days of Horror homepage. Synopsis: After a young girl is brutally attacked, Postmaster Otis P. Hazelrigg does what any good Postmaster would do – acts as judge, jury, and executioner when he organizes a lynch mob (shoot mob?) to exact justice on the suspected killer: the young girl’s mentally retarded friend, Bubba Ritter. Founding him hidden inside a scarecrow the mob extracts their ‘justice,’ only to learn horror rule number 37: never kill an innocent handicapped man, because vengeance and death soon follow.

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; your check is almost certainly in the mail. Yes my unfortunate dupes, you’ve stumbled upon the weekly bad movie column that seriously calls into question the acronym TGIF; unless you reassign the letters to mean Tell God I Forfeit. Every Friday, right before you shuffle off for the weekend, I slap you upside the face with a film that fell well short of greatness long ago and is now selling insurance and renting a double-wide in a little town called Schlocksburgh. My job is to walk the dirt roads of Schlocksburgh under cover of night and hurl rocks of mockery at said double-wide until somebody calls the internet police. But then, just as I’m about to be booked for a hate crime, I tear off my shirt and reveal a crudely drawn homemade tattoo across my chest professing my undying love for said film. I then offer a disgustingly tasty themed snack as an act of contrition, and in the hopes of avoiding a bothersome restraining order. This Week’s Target: Blackjack