This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr dresses up in a frilly lace cravat and some leather boots, grabs his sword and takes a trip to France to become a Musketeer. Unfortunately, he seems to be almost 400 years too late for those kinds of shenanigans. So he hops the English Channel to become a spy with MI-7. Of course, no one told him that MI-7 was actually nothing more than propaganda. So he heads back home for a good night’s sleep, and to make sure that happens, he videotapes himself throughout the house. While he doesn’t witness any paranormal activity, there are many unspeakable things that can be seen on them.

When I first heard that a new version of The Three Musketeers was being made by Paul W.S. Anderson I initially thought that he was a bad choice for the material, that he would just end up making something ridiculous. Now that I’ve actually seen the movie, I’m certain that he was a bad choice for the material, because he did in fact make something ridiculous. You know this story by now, it’s been around for like 175 years or something, so too much plot summary probably isn’t necessary. There are three famous Musketeers, the king’s personal soldiers, Athos (Matthew MacFayden), Porthos (Ray Stevenson), and Aramis (Luke Evans). They used to be big time, but now they’re out of a job because a corrupt Cardinal (Christoph Waltz) is taking control of France and instituting his personal guard as the new power in the nation. Also there’s a young chap name D’Artagnan (Logan Lerman) who has traveled to Paris to become a Musketeer, but he finds the place in disarray. Backstabbings and power plays commence. But let’s get back to how bad most everything in this movie is. The most egregious of all the offenses this new Three Musketeers commits is the punishment it doles out to its characters in the form of horrible dialogue. Never have you come across a script with more hackneyed, generic movie clichés than this. Everything that comes out of the characters’ mouths is clunky and unnatural. It feels like the movie went through absolutely zero [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

Ambitious. Bold. Serious. Groundbreaking. None of these words can be sanely used to describe the vibe emanating from the trailer for Paul W.S. Anderson’s “adaptation” of The Three Musketeers. This a W.S. Anderson picture through and through. This trailer does a fantastic job at selling a future camp classic in the making, and I don’t even mean that in an ironic way, either.

Despite the fact that this series is all about characters from Mount Olympus, Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Sea of Monsters is looking to Thor for direction. Close enough, I guess it’s all mythology. When I first heard that a series about a boy with magic powers who discovers that he has a very interesting ancestry, which was once helmed by Chris Columbus, was going to continue with another sequel I got confused. Wasn’t Harry Potter supposed to be over? Okay, obvious joke, but it was pretty pathetic how closely Columbus and the marketing people on the first Percy Jackson tried to tie this already derivative sequel to the Harry Potter franchise aesthetically. Hopefully, with a new director on, this second film can go in a new direction. But seeing as how Thor Freudenthal’s previous work on films like Hotel for Dogs and Diary of a Wimpy Kid doesn’t share much with these tween fantasy series, it’s kind of hard to tell if he’s the right man to give this series its own sense of identity. I guess the best we can hope is that he has some mode other than “movie you would see on the Disney Channel on a Sunday afternoon,” which is all I’ve seen from him so far. What we do know about this new film is that Logan Lerman is once again signed to star as Percy, and the story follows the pursuits of Percy and a group of his friends as they seek [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

Percy Jackson and 3:10 to Yuma actor Logan Lerman is attached to a new indie film whose title takes inspiration from a Simon and Garfunkel tune. The young actor is ready to start production this fall on The Only Living Boy in New York, a sort of coming of age, romantic triangle, boy coming to grips with the imperfection of his parents movie that is set to be directed by Seth Gordon, the man who made the universally beloved documentary The King of Kong, and who has recently been busying himself directing episodes of great TV comedies like Parks and Recreation, Modern Family, and Community. The reason the new film won’t likely start until fall is that Lerman is starting to become something of a hot ticket item over there in the Hollywood. Not only does he have a round of publicity coming up for his big summer blockbuster version of Three Musketeers, but he’s also about to start production on an adaptation of the ridiculously successful Stephen Chbosky teen angst novel, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It looks like Lerman is subscribing fully to the Give Them an Action Movie/Give Them an Indie Drama model of career building. He may be one to keep an eye on. Source: Deadline State College

So, Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief wasn’t exactly the Harry Potter killer that Fox wanted it to be (but Percy Jackson vs Harry Potter could be a ridiculously cool movie). Still, they are moving forward with a sequel subtitled The Sea of Monsters – based on the second book by Rick Riordan in the series. According to the LA Times, virtually none of the creative personnel is back, but director Chris Columbus will magically turn into a producer, Karen Rosenfelt will magically stay on as producer, and writer partners Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski will write the screenplay (using no magic at all). Essentially, even though The Lightning Thief made $226 million worldwide, the film cost something near $100 million and made only $88 million domestically. The numbers weren’t clear indicators that the studio wanted to take on a sequel. Something has changed their mind, though. This might shoot as early as this Summer, but there’s no word on what part of the cast will return. It’s possible that this final decision was partially hinging on whether Logan Lerman got the Spider-Man gig, and now that he’s free for the Summer, he can come out and throw lightning bolts at monsters in the sea. That’s speculation, but if you’ve read this far, you’ll realize that the brunt of this story is “Average Young Adult Adventure Gets Seemingly Unwarranted Sequel,” and that doesn’t fly well on its own.

A month ago, we reported on the short list of young talent that Sony was eying for their reboot of Spider-Man. All in all, the list was fairly average. There were no stand outs in particular, but all of them would be passable as the web-slinger. Jamie Bell, Alden Ehrenreich, Andrew Garfield, Frank Dillane, and Josh Hutcherson are basically the same actor with different haircuts. At least Sony knows what they want. The news today being passed around the horn is that…there is no news.

Judging by the list of names released today, Paul W.S. Anderson has never read The Three Musketeers.

Everyday, the internet will be bringing you another name on a list of possible names that might or might not play Peter Parker. But does that really even matter?

Drew McWeeny over at Hit Fix broke the news today that Sony Pictures has pretty much locked in Percy Jackson star Logan Lerman as their Peter Parker in the Spider-Man reboot. It marks another step in a big change for the Spider-Man franchise. A big change that was spurred on by the failures of Sam Raimi.

Kevin Carr sits his chubbiness down and sees if The Wolfman, Valentine’s Day and Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief can make the grade.

Previously thought to be (a) way off the radar, then (b) not worthy of being on the radar in the first place, the Chris Columbus directed film Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief is now somehow creeping onto not only my radar, but also my watch-list.