For those new to the column: I’m tracing the formative events in my life that made me what I am today: A Special Effects Make Up Artist, searching for relevance in the 21st Century…At this point in my life, I am fourteen years old… Just off the corner of Royal Street and St. Ann Street in the French Quarter, there was a white building with green shutters framing tall windows. Stacked in the windows, peering out like eyeless sentinels were rows and rows of Don Post Monster Masks. No longer just two dimensional, black and white images in the back pages of Famous Monsters of Filmland Magazine, they were there, in three-dimensions, painted in their garish colors. I was at the right place, alright: The Vieux Carre Hair Shop. Inside, two gentlemen greeted me. The first one was roughly thirty; he had a fringe of dark hair circling his baldpate and was mustached. This was Bob Saussaye. The other was a dapper older gentleman with a kind face; this was the owner of the store and Bob’s father, Herb Saussaye. Herb was more than the owner of the best-known theatrical wig and make up store in New Orleans. He was more than a knowledgeable make up artist. He was Willy Wonka, and I had just stepped into his factory.

Entertainment Weekly has posted a list of the 25 Greatest Working Directors, and as usual the selections include a few head scratchers. Part of the problem may be that the guidelines are fairly non-existent. How many great films does a director need to make? What percentage of their films have to be considered great? Why are 22 of the 25 “greatest” directors white males? EW’s only explanation/definition of the category is as follows: “As the Oscars approach to honor excellence from the past year, we’re counting down the most talented, in-demand filmmakers behind the camera today.” So basically… they have to be living directors. But here’s a quick sampling of the living directors who didn’t make the list… David Cronenberg, Alfonso Cuaron, Steven Soderbergh, Ridley Scott, Bong Joon-ho, Park Chan-wook, Kim Ji-woon, Ang Lee, Michael Mann, Mel Gibson, Sion Sono, Kiyoshi Kurasawa, Takashi Miike, Jacques Audiard, Jason Reitman, Ed Zwick. Read on to see who beat out all these losers…

This time last month, critics across the web and in print were compiling their mandatory best-of lists. While I often get annoyed when some lists with grander goals are given a degree of resonance they don’t in fact deserve (I’m looking at you, AFI), I do see the fun of the end-of year list ritual and honestly enjoy reading and writing such lists myself. But the thing is, I’m not primarily a critic for FSR, I’m a columnist. Thus, it’s nowhere near mandatory that I see everything released in a given year. I’ve been generously given the privileged position here of seeing what I want to see and writing about what I find interesting to write about week-in and week-out. While I receive occasional screeners for indie flicks and docs, I no longer live in a town that holds press screenings, so any new releases I choose to write about come into fruition because I, like your average cinephile (take note, Kevin Smith), have paid to see a movie that I think deserves my time, words, and money. This long digression is to ultimately say that my critical opinion of a given year at the end of that calendar year doesn’t ultimately mean all that much. My annual Top 5 contributions are based on comparatively few films seen by December 31. It’s typically not until sometime in February that I have anything resembling a top 10 list of my own that I can stand by, having finally seen former limited [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

The day is finally upon us! After our nearly-week-long countdown, the ability to purchase Mystery Team has been bestowed upon all living beings.

Every publication (including this one) is stuffing their Best Of lists down your throat. The Rejects want to turn the tables and ask what YOU think the best movies of the decade were. Give your (adjusted for inflation) three cents inside…

Prepare to cover your eyes, as we reveal the kings of the awkward laugh. Don’t. Look. Away. Wimps.

If you missed our conversation from yesterday, that trailer description went over your head. But what we’re talking about is corporations making movies. Not just being sponsors, no, we’re talking about big wigs writing, directing, and producing movies.

Warner Bros. closing in on a deal to turn Josh Lieb’s upcoming novel I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President into a film with McG on as producer. The film, about a rich boy running for middle-school class president and meanwhile staging a political coup de tat in Central America, does not have a director attached just yet.

All in all, we saw an amazing group of films and experienced a festival atmosphere that is second to none — but these 10 stood out at the best of the fest.

Food, like all of life’s great pleasures (sex, love, art, sex, books, music, sex and sex), can be a great expression for the joy of living.