We first meet Needy Lesnicky in a mental ward for troubled teens. She narrates the story of what led her to end up wearing a jumpsuit and bunny slippers, and it all starts with her best friend, Jennifer Check. Jennifer is played by Megan Fox which means contractually we’re first introduced to her in her underwear.

It’s not that she has a crush on Olivia Wilde that gave me pause… It’s how she has a crush on Olivia Wilde.

Today’s afternoon delight is brought to you by a Russian stripper named Nikita who does the slow-grind to the riffs of Joe Perry.