This past summer, Disney/Pixar continued their string of sequels with Cars 2. It may not have been the most popular Pixar film with critics, but kids loved it, and it’s one of the most merchandised movie of the year. That’s gotta be worth something, right? Now that Cars 2 is out on DVD, Blu-ray and 3D Blu-ray, parents around the world will be watching it over and over and over again with their kids. Whether you liked the film or not, this might begin to wear on you. So uncork a bottle of wine or crack open a beer and find a new way to get through the film for the 50th time.

There’s an old maxim that states that everyone in show business is fake. The traditional interpretation of that is that everyone in Hollywood is ready to be kind to your face, but stab you in the back and probably piss on the wound. That may be an exaggeration, but in the case of these 6 comedians, though, they really are fake. As in literally fake. Their public personae are carefully crafted, and you only occasionally see the real person behind it. Most of the time it’s just an extension of the person’s actual personality, but some of them are completely and totally fictitious people. For example, Bono is an experimental attention-seeking robot. Or take Neil Patrick Harris, who is actually a shaved ferret. You had no idea, right? Here are six comedians that almost never break the fourth wall to reveal their true selves.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr is inspired by Larry the Cable Guy and his character of Mater in the Cars movies. After all, if a buck-toothed rusty redneck pick-up truck can travel the world, why can’t a bald-yet-hairy fat guy from Ohio can do so as well. Kevin lurked in the streets of Tokyo, hoping to stumble onto some classy British spies and uncover a plot to undermine green energy sources. Then he brushed off his teaching degree and got a job at a middle school where he drank profusely, slept through the day and threw dodge balls at the kids. When he tried to explain to the cops that he was just following in the way of Cameron Diaz’s character from Bad Teacher, they just laughed at him and hauled him away.

Five years after the success of Cars, Pixar finally drops the second installment on waiting audiences in Cars 2. I am unabashedly a Pixar fan; I’ve loved almost everything they’ve offered up since ’95′s Toy Story. This noted, Cars 2 is one of the most unintentionally weird and schizophrenic mainstream features I’ve seen in theaters in a long time. Film-goers are thrust into the current plot via a violent, ten minute intro to the newest character in the Cars universe, Finn McMissile (Michael Caine), as he attempts to uncover the nefarious scheming of Professor Zündapp (Thomas Kretschmann) on an ocean oil rig. It’s showy and fun, but the eventual payoff is, again, very weird.

If you were to tell me that you thought Cars to be one of the more mediocre and “kiddy” titles in the Pixar catalog, I’d be hard pressed to find any sort of argument for that. It is, on the Pixar spectrum, the low end of things. Charming, sure. But it lacks the heart and humanity the storytellers of Emeryville were able to pull of with far less human characters (see Wall-E and Toy Story 3). So the fact that the release of a trailer for Cars 2 comes not with a bang, but a whimper, should come as a surprise to absolutely know one. The gang — Owen Wilson voicing race car Lightning McQueen and Larry the Cable Guy voicing Mater the dimwit tow-truck — is back and this time they are headed oversees to Tokyo. There they get caught up in a world of flashing lights and international espionage. Espionage that will involve a British Aston Martin voiced by Michael Caine. At least I think it’s Michael Caine…

Please drink responsibly, and don’t go around kidnapping hot chicks just because you think they’re in trouble.

The only time you’ll hear the term “Academy Award” in the same paragraph as Larry’s name is when people mention that Witless Protection is being released in the theaters on Oscar weekend.

A member of the Reject Nation says that Witless Protection “is quite possibly the Dumbest Movie of the Year.” Go figure.

Belief is a funny thing. One person may think something is the most brilliant book, movie or song they have ever heard and another person will read, watch or hear the exact same thing and think their head has just been raped by evil spirits.

This week we feature posters with Eva Longoria, Paris Hilton and Jenny McCarthy. It can’t be that bad. Can it?