This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr dresses up in his Jedi robes and grabs his lightsaber, heading to the theater to see the 3D re-release of Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace. While there, he faces a sea of estrogen as ladies of all type swarm into the multiplex to see Channing Tatum’s abs multiflex. After using his lightsaber to break through the wall of pre-Valentine’s Day ladies, he faces more obstacles with twentysomething dudes heading out to see Safe House and obnoxious families to see Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Fortunately for Kevin, he is able to dispatch everyone with his Rock-inspired “pec pop of love.” It was an early Valentine’s Day massacre.

The constant fear that the world has been living in for the past few months has finally lifted. The dread and avoidance of all things movie news related has subsided. A decent meal and the sunshine is waiting for everyone on the surface. For today, like a house dropping out of the clouds and onto a film franchise, Kristin Davis has announced that she believes there won’t be another Sex and the City movie. “I could be wrong,” she admits. “Obviously there was a time when we thought there was no movie happening so you never know. But it is not looking great.” It’s not looking great because the movie had box office trouble domestically and was not well-liked by critics or fans. It just goes to show – you can sneak by the critics, but you can’t piss off the ones who brought you to the dance. For now, let’s soldier on with cautious optimism. A new day is dawning, and it tolls the bell signaling a future without another Sex and the City movie. The future looks bright. [E!]

I’m not quite sure why I decided to watch Sex and the City in its entirety. It could have been my curiosity about the show, or my desire to put Sex and the City 2 in some fair context in an Internet blogging landscape overwhelmingly composed of male writers and male readers, or maybe I was seeking out some sort of endurance test…or maybe all these are lame excuses to shamelessly justify watching a show that one would so easily encounter ridicule for watching.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr heads to the desert to grade Sex and the City 2 and Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time.

Sex and the City was never intended for my demographic, but I refuse to fault it for that, for in critiquing those media objects not intended for us, we must be careful not to confuse preferences of taste with quality.

It’s no surprise that Couples Retreat was… not good. And we now know (thanks to this week’s Reject Report) that it won the weekend box office with $35 mil. So, what gives?

Kevin Carr takes a look at this week’s movie releases, including Couple’s Retreat, Paranormal Activity and Toy Story & Toy Story 2 in 3D Double Feature.

Neil crawls into the Magical Studio in the Sky in spite of the fact that he’s suffering from the Fantastic Flu, though Kevin suspects this is just an excuse for having not seen any of the movies this week. Still, the Fat Guys go on a Couple’s Retreat and experience some Paranormal Activity.

From the long list of names on the posters and trailers, you’d think that this comedy would rise above the usual average drivel, but you’d be wrong.

Columbus Rejects! Get a chance to see Couple’s Retreat before it opens… for free!

We get our first viewing of the poster and the trailer within.

Throw in Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn and mai tais. The movie could be worth getting dragged to. Especially if you want to see Iron Man 2.

I feel a bit odd heaping praise on the film – even more odd than attending the 400+ person screening with our illustrious Executive Editor Neil Miller and being two of only about a dozen guys in the house. But there’s a lot of good things in this movie.

Since the first episode of the first season aired, people have been wondering about Carrie and Mr. Big. Fans will now look to the movie for all of the definitive answers…