This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr heads out to the drab English countryside to settle a woman’s estate only to find the place haunted. Fortunately, Kevin had already crawled down a mysterious hole and gained super powers, so he’s able to fend off the evil spirits. For a fleeting moment, he considers using his new powers for good, like to save a family of gray whales trapped under the ice in Barrow, Alaska. However, his fear of the 30 Days of Night vampires keep him at home. He then decides to use his new powers to read the subtitles of The Hidden Face so he can enjoy the copious amounts of pretty Colombian breasts.

We are told early on in Big Miracle that “everybody loves whales!” It’s both an excuse and a rallying cry and, had Ken Kwapis‘ film stuck with its first moniker, it would have also been the title of his latest film. Someone apparently had the foresight to slay that terrible name, but it’s still managed to worm its way into the finished feature, where it’s pronounced earnestly, practically begging for its audience to nod and say, “yep, it’s true – just everybody loves whales.” Strangely enough, it’s that tossed-aside title that sums up Big Miracle quite neatly – earnest, insane, and conducive to crowd participation and (positive) involvement.

Back when he was getting his start torturing celebrities on the Ashton Kutcher produced MTV prank show Punk’d it would have been hard to predict that comedian Dax Shepard would get to where he is today. He’s gone from wearing silly fake mustaches and telling Justin Bieber that his dad died to starring in big Hollywood movies, getting engaged to the criminally hot Kristen Bell, and now even making features of his own. Deadline Milford is reporting that Outrun, a movie that Shepard wrote and directed himself, has been acquired for domestic release by Open Road Pictures. This isn’t just a little project that Shepard made in his backyard either, this is a big comedy with an ensemble cast. Shepard himself stars as an ex-getaway driver who must break out of jail to drive his girlfriend to L.A. so that she can get the job of her dreams, Kristen Bell is playing the girlfriend, Tom Arnold is playing a federal agent on their tail, Bradley Cooper is playing the leader of the gang Shepard used to be a part of, and somehow names like Beau Bridges, Kristin Chenoweth and David Koechner are all involved as well.

What if there were a shirt that would drive women around you into an uncontrollable sexual stupor? That’s the central conceit behind Chick Magnet, and of course the second big question is how to explain to her why you want to keep your shirt on during sex. The trailer for the low budget sex comedy definitely shows its limitations, but there’s at least a little bit to chuckle at here and a heart that will inevitably be involved (since one of the characters wants to use the shirt to get his crappy ex-wife back). Plus, somehow the production tricked Tracy Morgan, Kristen Bell and Rosario Dawson into making appearances as themselves. For those keeping score, an unknown writer/director and writer/producer (named Ryan R. Williams and Jeff Venables) created a movie where every woman wants to sex them up, and they somehow convinced Bell and Dawson to be two of those women. So, yeah, check it out:

While talking about screenwriting methods with Marti Noxon on Reject Radio, she mentioned that by sticking to a few internal rules, she’d been able to make a solid name for herself and get to a point in her career where she could hop behind the director’s chair. Maybe we should all write those rules down. It doesn’t have financing yet, but Noxon revealed that she had secured Susan Sarandon, Topher Grace and Kristen Bell for a “family comedy with a fantasy element” called Box City. She wouldn’t go into details – which is understandable considering the film is still in the gestation process, but she did mention that all the major roles were taken by the actors she envisioned while writing the script. Sarandon is a legend, although her choices in the past ten years have ranged from small-scale brilliance to larger failures (despite elevating even the worst of the bunch). Grace and Bell are both young talents that still have a lot more to offer. At any rate, it’s nice to see Bell’s name attached to something that’s not an airhead’s romantic comedy. Plus, she’s a great match for Noxon’s style of witty banter (honed after many a season on Buffy). Hopefully this will find its financing so that we have something to look forward to while the Veronica Mars movie that won’t ever happen continues not to happen. Without more information, it’s tough to know how excited to get here, but the cast is a strong one, and [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

Earlier this evening, we posted up a second trailer for Scream 4, which hits theaters the very same day that your taxes are due. Scary. Now, we’ve gotten our hands on 5 new images that show off the cast a bit better, especially those that haven’t seen much screen time in the trailers so far: namely Kristen Bell, Anna Paquin, the new high school crew, and Alison Brie. Plus, there are some stabby good shots of Neve Campbell too. Check them out for yourself:

This trailer made me incredibly hungry for ice cream for some reason. It’s also pretty damned good. Even though Scream 4 is one of the most anticipated movies of the year, it’s also on the shakiest ground. A return to glory or another flop, it stands to polarize unless it gets every single detail right. As far as the trailer goes, the meta attitude is back, there are now two characters willing to explain the rules of the new horror genre, the kills are going to be bigger, and Kristen Bell is going to be creepy and blonde. In short, it’s a winner.

Burlesque tells the unique, riveting tale of a small-town girl with big dreams, who hops off a bus in Hollywood and ascends to stardom. Centered on a burlesque themed nightclub, in which our protagonist finds a mentor and faces off with a rival as she claws her way to the top, the movie breaks bold new cinematic ground and will surely live on in the hearts and minds of all those who see it.

On Friday, Warners sent out a twitter missive into the world thanking fans for sending them support for Veronica Mars – the erstwhile show about the plucky teenage detective solving cases while she solved her own. In return, the studio set up an email address where fans can write in (ostensibly to give numeric proof that the demand for a movie is there). Warners shouldn’t wait for that numeric proof. They’ve gone that route before by looking at ratings for a show that was on a network no one’s heard of and by looking at DVD sales. The numbers aren’t there, but the character is, and when good writing is staring you in the face, that writing should be reason enough to make things happen. Since that’s the least convincing business argument, here are three better reasons for why Warners needs to make a move on Veronica Mars.

Here’s the pitch: a young girl who is also a “tough, street-smart” private eye is hired by the FBI to assist in a major case. The first two words that should come to mind are “Veronica Mars.” It’s something that fans of the canceled series starring Kristen Bell have been clamoring for since the first episode. Unfortunately, the two words that really do come alongside this gold-plated pitch are either “So Undercover,” “Miley Cyrus,” or “Blergh Heuuuuerrggh.” Since Cyrus is a massive cash cow, this generic action comedy with a tween-friendly title (specifically designed for easy texting) has been developed for her, and it’s just been picked up by Exclusive Media Group. No word yet on whether it’ll be direct to DVD or how Larry the Cable Guy will be involved. [Deadline Santa Monica]

Aside from seeing Kristen Bell in a bikini and Mila Kunis’s breasts in an arguably fake snapshot, we can all agree that Russell Brand was the best thing about Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Now you can see more of him in the Blu-ray and DVD release of Get Him to the Greek. And while you may not have Jonah Hill to keep you in line, you can have fun to rival an evening with Aldous Snow by enjoying this drinking game while watching the film.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr is coming at you in eye-popping 3D, and like money, he doesn’t sleep. He sets his time machine way way way back to 2002 to pick on Kristen Bell in high school. The story is loosely chronicled in You Again. Kevin also practices some insider trading with Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps then takes flight with a bunch of CGI owls from Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole

This whole Scream 4 thing is getting exciting. The original was such a fresh take at the slasher genre, and the third film was such a tired retread of Wes Craven borrowing way too much from Wes Craven. This new entry and this new decade hold a lot of promise, and without knowing much beyond blind optimism, it’s the cast that seems poised to impress. Neve Campbell, and the Arquette-Cox family returning is a big deal, but adding Emma Roberts, Adam Brody, Alison Brie, Marley Shelton, Hayden Panetierre, Rory Culkin, and Anthony Anderson to that list was a slash of genius. Now, the production is announcing that True Blood star Anna Paquin and Being Kristen Bell star Kristen Bell will have roles to play in the multiple murder spree.

Some are already looking at the new trailer for the Christina Aguilera, Cher team-up Burlesque and reacting to the tune of “it’s Showgirls meets Chicago.” Cinematical’s Alison Nastasi may have hit the nail on the head with this comment: “more like Showgirls lite — Oprah approved,” pointing out the film’s need to dance through PG-13 territory. The film is a stock tale of a small-town girl (Aguilera) heading for the big city trying to make it big. She authoritatively buys herself a one-way ticket to the big city (in this case, Los Angeles) and starts working on her dream of becoming a burlesque dancer, with Cher as her reluctant guide. As a fan of burlesque shows, I was intrigued. As a fan of watchable movies, I was left with a feeling of wanting — wanting for Cinemax late night programming, or something of the like. More after the jump.

People are almost constantly worried about what Kristen Bell is going to do next because she gained a huge nerd following with one television series and hooked a larger comedy nerd audience as Sarah Marshall. However, even though it might sound like blasphemy, I’ve never really been terribly impressed with her acting. She’s cute, and she’s funny, and she’s beyond endearing, but she’s right where she belongs in rom-com land.

Kevin Carr sits his chubbiness down and sees if Edge of Darkness and When in Rome can make the grade.

Neil is still off galavanting at Sundance TwentyTen, so Kevin welcomes Merrill Barr from The Film Stage to the Magical Studio in the Sky to talk about Edge of Darkness and When In Rome.

Kevin Carr takes a look at this week’s movie releases, including Saw VI, Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant, Astro Boy and Amelia.

It’s no surprise that Couples Retreat was… not good. And we now know (thanks to this week’s Reject Report) that it won the weekend box office with $35 mil. So, what gives?

Kevin Carr takes a look at this week’s movie releases, including Couple’s Retreat, Paranormal Activity and Toy Story & Toy Story 2 in 3D Double Feature.