This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr strips down to his boxers and starts a new training regimen to make him look more like Huge Jackman. He’s got a head start, considering his torso looks almost like Jackman’s… if you turn it upside down. After duking it out with some robots in a boxing ring, Kevin tries his hands at politics because it’s the kind of business where you don’t necessarily have to look like Ryan Gosling to get a young hottie like Evan Rachel Wood. But the primary system leaves him depressed and cold, so he takes a trip to the Sudan to play target practice with some warlords. He hears the Sudan is simply lovely this time of year.

The virtual DVD racks on Netflix are littered with hopeful young-adult franchises trying too hard to become the next Harry Potter or Twilight phenomenon. Cirque du Freak? Percy Jackson & the Olympians? The Golden Compass? All based on a popular book series meant to start a whole new franchise… but every single one of them failed at the box-office. Not that that’s stopping the suits in Hollywood from snapping up the rights to even more series (The Hunger Games, Incarceron, etc.), and then bringing them to the screen with attractive teens, mediocre directors, and shitty scripts. Which brings us to I Am Number Four. It seems somewhere out in the cosmos a planet was attacked and decimated by a race of fish people called the Mogadorians. Are they actually fish people? I don’t know, but they do have gills on the face so we’ll go with it. The survivors (known as Loriens) came to Earth hoping to start anew, but the Sea Bass assassins followed and are now hunting them down, killing them, and stealing their jewelry. We’re told there were nine surviving Loriens, all teens, although each has a special guardian assigned to protect them for some unknown purpose that will be revealed at an undisclosed time. Why aren’t the guardians counted among the survivors? Who knows, but maybe it’s because they suck at their job. The killer Carp have already slaughtered teens one through three and have set their sights on number four. Because the only thing the [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

D.J. Caruso is bringing another film (ostensibly in his same brand of lightweight intrigue) to theaters this year, and I Am Number Four has a truly intriguing premise. A young man is hiding his amazing powers for fear of being killed by a mysterious entity. It, on the surface, seems like the movie version of Heroes that everyone was clamoring for (or the movie version of The Tomorrow People if you’re cooler). The movie, stars rising actors Alex Pettyfer, Diana Agron, and Teresa Palmer alongside Timothy Olyphant and fan-favorite character actor Kevin Durand. The twenty new images that just hit our inbox show some brooding, some pensive stares, and a building evaporating in a giant fireball while a young bad ass walks away (without looking back!). Check them out for yourself:

If Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood suffers from any one thing — and it suffers from many — it suffers from being disconnected from the classic nature of the character. Even Kevin Costner’s Robin of Locksley, through the terrible accent, had a bit of joie de vivre. Even he had a bit of fun.

When God loses faith in Mankind, he sends his legion of angels to bring on the Apocalypse. Humanity’s only hope lies in a group of strangers trapped in a desert diner and the Archangel Michael (Paul Bettany).

Our scoops about The Blob just keep on coming…