What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this stuff late at night, what do you expect?

This past weekend saw the cinematic glory of Resident Evil: Afterlife pushing past security to get into your local theater even though it was moving slower than an instant replay in a curling match. The absolute atrocity of this film raises a lot of questions, but one of the first and foremost is whether or not directors should work with their spouses in a leading role. Paul W.S. Anderson, who thinks Milla Jovovich is as big an action star as Sigourney Weaver, is also married to Milla Jovovich, and while we can’t prove causation for the low marks in her performance here – we can certainly point to correlation. We can also point to 9 more husband and wife teams in order to find out if working with your legally bound significant other is really such a great idea.

Kate Beckinsale is contractually obligated to appear in the fourth Underworld film, according to the folks at Bloody-Disgusting. And while this move may help her career, she appears to want out.

This week’s drinking game teaches us to lie with The Invention of Lying and how to murder people in a show storm with Whiteout… or it’ll just get you drunk.

In spite of the fact almost nothing was screened for them this week, Kevin and Neil meet in the Magical Studio in the Sky to not talk about movies. Instead, they discuss Kevin being a near body double for Taylor Lautner, Neil’s homoerotic fantasies about Neil Patrick Harris and how to tweet in Klingon. tIv cha’!

A fourth trip to the world of Underworld is in development. And while they don’t have a director, or a star just yet, they do have a writer.

‘Whiteout’ is a dull thriller that never makes proper use of its Antarctic setting or Kate Beckinsale, its star.

Kevin Carr takes a look at this week’s movie releases, including 9, Sorority Row, Whiteout and Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself..

Gremlins of all kinds invade the Magical Studio in the Sky. It’s either a sign of the apocalypse or a sign of bad movies in September. The first wave caused a glitch in Neil’s gender clarification surgery, so he had to return to the Netherlands to reclarify. Fortunately, David Medsker from Bullz-eye.com filled in.

Kate Beckinsale is in a new movie, and the trailer would rather talk about how cold Antarctica is than show shots of her breathing or standing around looking sexy or anything like that. Because learning is fun! Oh, and there’s a murder!

Coming straight to DVD next week sans Kate “Super Hot” Beckinsale, is Vacancy 2 worth checking into? Check out the answer inside.

In a recent interview with MTV, Kate Beckinsale stated that she has a new found respect for journalists due to her upcoming role in Nothing But The Truth, where she portrays a journalist who is sentenced for not revealing her source after exposing a CIA operative.

In remake news that most won’t recognize as a remake, Robert De Niro is gearing up to star in Everybody’s Fine, an updated version of Tornatore’s neo-classic Stanno Tutti Bene.

While I didn’t think David Gordon Green’s film Snow Angels was flawless, it is clear that he made the film for himself and his own artistic sector, and he won’t be hurt or offended if it never cracks the mainstream nugget.

One of our snoopy readers gives us an update on the straight-to-dvd horror prequel.

Small towns are the nicest places when you’re in a good mood and the worst jungles when you feel trapped in depression.

At root, Vacancy is a horror movie about two characters who gradually become aware that they’re two characters within a horror movie, but Antal keeps the tone straight-faced, blessedly avoiding any Scream-style, self-aware cheekiness. Packed full of conventional set-ups, the film stars Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale as a married couple on the verge of divorce, on their way home from Beckinsale’s mother’s home on a side road, having made the fundamental mistake of getting off the interstate. (Never get off the main road!) A lot of “we’re not lost!” bickering ensues, then the car breaks down, the mechanic can’t fix it till morning and there’s a nearby motel with no other guests, only a creepy night clerk (a mustachioed Frank Whaley). Beckinsale refers to their stay in the filthy room they rent as their “one last great adventure together,” but she is unaware of the real adventure about to unfold! In a well-crafted sequence of Wyler/Toland-esque close-ups—the film is full of artsy angles and is gorgeously lit, courtesy cinematographer Andrzej Sekula, of Pulp Fiction fame—Wilson starts popping-in video tapes lying on top of their room’s television set, finding a series of gruesome snuff films that he slowly begins to realize have been filmed in the very room he and his wife occupy. With hardly a moment to think, the events that start off the tapes begin to happen to them: there’s deafening banging on the wall; the power flicks on and off; the door, chained shut, rattles on its

Last week, Esquire magazine announced that it has named Charlize Theron as the Sexiest Woman Alive. While we think Charlize is definitely sexy, we don’t necessarily agree with the whole sexiest alive business.