Of many preferred professions, I find chefs to be on the right end of the hotness scale. Their passion for food translates into multiple areas of life and it’s hard not to get swept away into a blissful utopia where calories don’t count but your opinion of that chocolate mousse does. As you may have guessed, I have been suckered into this world once or twice, and unlike the obsessions of mine that turned sour, my chef love remains. I had high expectations for the Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart led kitchen romance No Reservations. Two hot-tempered executive chefs forced together to run one kitchen sounded almost as steamy as angry sex in the Grey’s Anatomy on-call room. The potential for secret glances over chopping boards and mutual arousal from yelling at their sous chef seemed inevitable. However, the movie wasn’t about the sexy times of these two hot chefs. Rather it was more about Zeta-Jones’ Kate and Eckhart’s Nick learning to put aside their ambition and realize what’s important in life. Sex and cooking go hand-in-hand, so thankfully the couple does partake in a few tingly make-out moments and fade-to-black sex scenes. But most of the movie’s heavy petting is left for the dough in the prep oven. Tough lady chefs like Zeta-Jones’ Kate are modeled after real chefs, but that doesn’t mean Hollywood has been quick to allow women to be tough and sexy on screen. On the contrary, many movies featuring female cooks have been just that—cooks.

Depp was once believed to be a lock for playing the titular character in Emir Kusturica’s upcoming film The Seven Friends of Pancho Villa and the Woman With Seven Fingers, but delays on the project and too many upcoming obligations on his plate have forced him to step back from the role. This couldn’t have been an easy decision as reportedly he and Kusturica are pretty chummy. But what could be seen as a fairly big blow for the developing feature might not be so big of a deal after all. Blic reports that there are already two possible stars likely to step in and take Depp’s place. More good news abounds due to the fact that they are both accomplished actors, and they are both actually Hispanic to some degree. Maybe Pancho Villa didn’t need to be played by the kid from 21 Jump Street after all? The first guy rumored to play the role is Mexican actor Gael Garcia Bernal. He’s already sucked up big time trying to land the part at the Kustendorf film festival by saying, “I believe Emir is the only director who can do the Pancho Villa story. Even better than any Mexican director. You know why? Because he is a kind of Pancho Villa in his own right.” Okay. Really? In what respect? And if that killer quote wasn’t enough, Bernal goes on to posit, “I will probably land the leading role because of physical resemblance with Pancho Villa.” Can’t argue with that logic, [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

Depp has had a lot of criticism hailed at him in recent years, some even from yours truly, saying that he is getting too comfortable relying on props and gimmicks to float through his performances in Tim Burton movies. Basically get the man a silly wig, have him imitate some sort of funny voice, animate a bunch of trippy stuff to happen around him, and you have a movie. No real acting necessary. That may be harsh, and it’s not entirely true, but there is a smidge of truth to it. There’s no denying the things he and Burton have been doing together in recent years have looked quite similar. Well Depp tells MTV that with Dark Shadows he won’t be straying too far from the performance the original actor who portrayed Barnabas Collins gave in the 60s TV show. He said, “For me, even the conversations I’ve had with Tim, what Jonathan Frid did with that character and that classic look he created, I find it very difficult to stray very far from that. I think it’s going to be somewhere in that arena, with maybe just a couple of different touches here and there.”

If you’re like me, you watch the Super Bowl for one reason: you can eat as many fried mac ‘n’ cheese balls as you want without so much as a dirty look. If there’s another reason to watch, it’s because Puppy Bowl has gotten repetitive. If there’s a third, it’s the commercials – specifically the movie trailers. Most of the movie trailers this year gave just a bit more insight into trailers we’ve already seen, but a select few (like Transformers 3 and Super 8) gave us our first look into the worlds being created for the big screen. Fortunately, like the PSAs that get to air for free during the big game, these movie trailers also taught us a lot. Especially about the trends of 2011 that are already emerging. Here are just ten things we learned.

Hot on the heels of the news that Jackie Earle Haley and Bella Heathcoate would be joining Tim Burton’s new mystical romp as a manservant and a mistress of an estate comes word that former Bond girl with a sexy French accent Eva Green will also be joining the cast. She will be playing Angelique, a witch who has a complicated but heated relationship with Johnny Depp’s vampire protagonist Barnabas Collins.

Deadline Dayton has gotten word that Jackie Earle Haley is in talks to play the role of Willie Loomis in Burton’s upcoming big screen adaptation of the late 60s-early 70s era daytime soap Dark Shadows. He joins Johnny Depp, who is already slated to play Barnabas Collins, Loomis’ vampiric overlord, and negotiates alongside Bella Heathcoate, who is reportedly the first choice to take on the principle female role of Victoria Winters. Haley is coming off of two dark yet big budget roles playing Rorschach in the Zack Snyder film version of Watchmen as well as Freddy Krueger in the recent Platinum Dunes remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street. It makes sense that the next logical step for his career would be to work with Burton, who has similar gothic if not a bit cartoony sensibilities. In the original soap Haley’s character, Loomis, was a con man and thief who was turned into Barnabas’ slave after a failed attempt to rob the mausoleum where the vampire’s coffin was housed. “Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter” scribe Seth Grahame-Smith is writing this updated version, and when talking to MTV Burton had this to say about the script, “ … it’s been kind of a long time coming, but I think I’m getting a script that I like. I don’t really like talking because I’m not really sure what’s happening yet but I’m excited about it. I think, yes, finally for me, it’s getting to be the right tone.” It’s been kind of a [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this shit late at night, what do you expect?

To get more hits on this article, I considered calling it “Ricky Gervais & The Golden Globes, Sandra Bullock nude, Ryan Reynolds break up, chicken fight.” But we’re above that sort of stuff here at FSR, or at least that’s what I’m told when all my work gets edited down. Anyway, some of you reading this may care about awards shows. If that’s you, then you probably watched the Golden Globes on Sunday and I feel bad for you because why do you care about awards shows? Did you win your office pool? Nice/Better luck next time. So if you watched the show, or just read about it later, you know that comedian Ricky Gervais is catching some heat over his presentation. Apparently a few celebrities and some Hollywood Foreign Press members (who put on the show) thought that his jokes and barbs crossed a line, proving they don’t know who Ricky Gervais is.

Disney has released the first trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides this week, and it’s more of the same from Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) and crew. From the familiar score to the wobbly mess that is the series’ lead character to the subtle hints that two young stars may be central to the actual story (keep an eye on the young lad and the mermaid), we’ve seen this act before. It doesn’t make it appear to be any less fun, however.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr heads to the movie theater to enjoy the holiday releases and the award films. But how do they stack up against each other. After being swept into Narnia in post-converted 3D, Kevin takes a trip to Venice where he watches a portly Johnny Depp play an everyman to Angelina Jolie walking around a lot. Finally, he takes another award season trip to Boston to watch Mark Wahlberg get punch drunk..

Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck is at risk of having his tourist visa revoked. Or at least he would be if there were any justice in the cinematic world. (Of course, the continued presence of Ashton Kutcher on the big screen proves that’s not the case.) The problem isn’t that von Donnersmarck has made a bad movie or that saying his name aloud reminds one of the worst part of Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds (I’m looking at you Eli Roth!). No, the problem is that after the absolute brilliance of his suspenseful and emotionally satisfying debut, The Lives Of Others, the director’s arrival in Hollywood is with little more than a beautiful but bland trip to Mediocreville.

The trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides doesn’t debut until Monday, but a little birdie dropped six images from the new film into my email box. How the bird got into the internet in the first place, I have no idea, and I won’t listen to any calls from PETA about it. If you’re anticipating the film with your own hand-made countdown calendar, these pics might be just the thing to salve your soul. If you’re just bored on a Thursday, you can play an endless game of peek-a-boo with Captain Jack Sparrow thanks to one of them. Enjoy!

At one point, George Clooney was among those rumored to play the titular role in Disney’s big screen adaptation of The Lone Ranger. Since then, we haven’t heard much about the project. In fact, producer Jerry Bruckheimer went as far as saying that they weren’t going to worry about it until they got a director. That was in 2008. They can now begin the search for a Ranger, as Gore Verbinski has been confirmed as director. Johnny Depp will still play Tonto, the film will likely hit theaters in 2012. The rest is to be determined. One thing we do know: Verbinski is definitely trying to give Tim Burton a run for his money in the “who can work with Johnny Depp the most this decade” competition. [The Wrap]

Let’s face it. The original Dark Shadows television series was a delight in spite of the flubbed lines, the visible boom mics and the wobbling sets. In fact, it was probably fun to watch specially because of how low rent it was. The concept of a crew so dedicated to making something scary failing so epically (and in turn creating something hilarious) was explored a bit on an episode of This American Life, and it’s a question that lingers for how Tim Burton will treat his film version of Dark Shadows with Johnny Depp. We’ve reported before on the project, but it’s now confirmed to be Depp and Burton’s next project – one that will begin filming in April of 2011. The one major change is that John August (Big Fish) is no longer writing the script. Instead, it’s Seth Grahame-Smith, the author of “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.” The biggest question is whether this will be a polished version of the vampire story or whether it will seek to have some of the ridiculousness achieved in the television show. Are we looking at a genuine horror flick or a comedy of Ed Wood proportions? The second biggest question is whether this start date will put Depp out of the running to star in Kathryn Bigelow’s Triple Frontier, which is supposed to begin in February. [Deadline Burbank]

You’ve stumbled upon Circle of Jerks, our sporadically published, weekly feature in which we ask the questions that really matter to our writers and readers. It’s a time to take a break from our busy lives and revel in the one thing that we all share: a deep, passionate love of movies. If you have a question you’d like answered by the FSR readers and staff, send us an email at editors@filmschoolrejects.com. What movies would you recast/recrew? My answer:  Topher Grace as Spider-man.  Tobey Maguire is humorless.  And I’d somehow keep Ryan Reynolds from being the Green Lantern so he can be The Flash instead. And I’d like to have seen Preston Sturges direct just about any romantic comedy. – Sara F.

There’s nothing about the first trailer released for The Tourist that makes the movie look special in anyway. It’s more of the same all echoed by Angelina Jolie slapping her vocal chords with fish and chips. For those keeping score, there’s the mysterious attractive woman on a train, the mistaken identity, the boat chase scene from Indiana Jones, Europe, and an unmistakable sense of inertia. Stop me when you have a bingo. See for yourself:

One of the many films that Oscar watchers have been talking about may not see the light of day until next year. Rum Diary for a while now has been pegged as a film with Oscar chances written all over it, but even if it lives up to what plenty are saying, don’t expect to see it during next year’s Oscar broadcast considering it might not be released until 2011. That’s what Aaron Eckhart told me and here’s one of the possible reasons why: Depp is off shooting Pirates 4 and that renders him unavailable to do press. Eckhart sounded pretty unsure about the release date, and he had this to say:

Paramount Pictures has released the first teaser for Gore Verbinski’s upcoming animated flick Rango, starring Johnny Depp as a Hawaiian shirt wearing lizard who wanders through the Mojave desert in search of himself. Much of his world feels like a good peyote trip and everything around him is a talking animal of some kind. And we’re being told that it has nothing to do with Hunter S. Thompson. I’m not convinced.

The world finally has its first look at Rango, the character at the heart of Gore Verbinski’s upcoming animated movie that will star the voice of Johnny Depp. It’s also the character at the heart of that very strange teaser trailer, or non-trailer as the studio explained later. It’s all very confusing, but it will soon come into focus.

This is not the same Hunter S. Thompson we’ve seen from Johnny Depp in the past. Then again, there is no more strange character in the semi-autobiographical world of Hunter S. Thompson than that found in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. So The Rum Diary will feel different. But it’s still Depp, and it’s still Thompson. All should go well.