When The Expendables first came to our attention, we were all psyched. By “our” and “we” I’m referring, of course, to just about every male born before 1990. These were our guys. Our heroes. All of them, together, in one place. Well, almost all of them. There were some notable figures missing, like Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, and Steven Seagal. As internet writers with a boner for lists, we all put together our dream cast for The Expendables 2.  Now that the film has arrived, men and awesome women everywhere were rewarded: Jean-Claude and Chuck Norris were both added to the  cast while Schwarzenegger and Willis both got expanded roles. Our action dreams were coming true! And while the word on The Expendables 2 is mostly positive, that hasn’t stopped the internet from churning out dream casting for the hopefully inevitable third installment. But here at Film School Rejects, we’re a little bit different. Why create another list of pretty cool action stars from the 80s or 90s? Everyone else is already doing that. We’re going the opposite direction, to Asylum Town.

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; now incapable of discerning tricks from treats. In case you’ve been binge drinking for the last week and chucked your wall calendar, cell phone, and computer–in which case how are you reading this–onto the lawn in a fit of rage, October has arrived. As such, it is time for Junkfood Cinema to set its beady little eyes upon the campiest, the cheesiest, the frighteningly schlockiest titles that the horror genre has to offer. Every week from here until we reach glorious Samhain, I will carve up a Samheinous horror film like a helpless jack-o-lantern. But then I will set a candle of pure adoration inside its hallowed out carcass so that it shines like a beautiful goblin. To top it off, I will prescribe a  tasty treat themed to the film that will haunt your waistline in the same fashion that the film haunts your sense of better judgment. This week’s ghoul: Dead Heat

Today is the 70th anniversary of a great day in our history, as you should very well know by now. If you don’t, I believe one of Chuck Norris’ beard hairs is going to impregnate your mother as penance for forgetting his birthday. On this day in 1940, Chuck Norris was born in Ryan, Oklahoma. And in honor of this great man’s date of birth, I’m using Movies We Love to celebrate one of my favorite tour de Chucks — Sidekicks.