Columbia Pictures and Sony Pictures Animation have just announced that production has kicked off on their inevitable “live-action/computer animated hybrid 3Dfamily comedy” sequel to last year’s smash hit, The Smurfs. The Smurfs 2 brings back all of the cast from the first film, including Neil Patrick Harris as Patrick Winslow, Jayma Mays as Grace Winslow, Sofia Vergara as Odile, Hank Azaria as Gargamel, Katy Perry as Smurfette, Jonathan Winters as Papa Smurf, Alan Cumming as Gutsy, Fred Armisen as Brainy, George Lopez as Grouchy, and Anton Yelchin as Clumsy. Director Raja Gosnell is also back behind the camera. Screenwriters J. David Stem, David N. Weiss, Jay Scherick, and David Ronn are also returning, along with a newcomer to the Smurfs franchise, Karey Kirkpatrick (James and the Giant Peach, Chicken Run, Charlotte’s Web), proving that it takes five screenwriters to write something this unoriginal. The film will have some new faces, however, both on the human and the blue side. Brendan Gleeson joins the cast as Patrick ‘s stepfather, along with Christina Ricci and JB Smoove, who will voice “new Smurf-like naughty characters,” Vexy and Hackus. Uh oh, just “Smurf-like“?

It’s no surprise that Sony Pictures has gone ahead and scheduled the inevitable sequel to The Smurfs (hey, at least they waited until the first film was in theaters). The second Smurf-venture will smurf into theaters on Smurfgust 2, 20smurfteen. Sorry, I got some blue stuck in my throat — The Smurfs sequel (Smurf-quel? Fine, calling it now) will arrive in theaters on August 2, 2013. Smurf on. The Smurfs beat Cowboys & Aliens during opening weekend, and already stands at a worldwide gross of $135m over just eleven days in release. The film cost an estimated $110m to make, so while that profit margin isn’t huge as of yet, the film will have legs (little tiny ones, clad in little tiny white pants) outside the US, as The Smurfs already opened in first place in twenty-three international markets just last weekend. I have not yet seen the film, because I like to watch films that don’t hurt my eyes or offend my childhood. There are no other films currently scheduled for the August release date, so it looks like that particular date should remain firmly in their little blue-handed grasps. Thor 2 is scheduled to open the week before, and the only kid-targeted fare currently on deck within a month of the Smurf-quel is Despicable Me 2, reportedly opening on July 3. Just cede control over the Smurfs now (sigh). The sequel currently only has Jordan Kerner set to return as producer, but I’m willing to hold my breath

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr runs screaming from little blue people invading his life and seeks refuge in the old west, hoping that James Bond and Indiana Jones will protect him. When he returns home, he has a fight with his wife and uses the events of Crazy, Stupid, Love to put his relationship back together. What a godsend Hollywood can be for marriage woes. Finally, Kevin curls up for a long nap after an exhausting summer movie season with many more arrests than he ever thought he’d incur.

Finally someone has the brass buttons it takes to hunt down those little bastards and cook them in some sort of stew.