Jumping out of windows! Smashing cars into other cars! Slowly walking away from a devastating explosion while putting on designer sunglasses! Jason Statham steadfastly refuses to make a different film, which is bullet-based music to the ears of some fans. With the new trailer for the Mechanic remake, Statham proves he can do the thing everyone on the planet knows he can do – play a bad ass with a gun and a score to settle. Still, without the mustache, he’s only operating at 34% Bronson. It’s red-band, so enter in your date of birth and enjoy the ka-booms:

The first time I uttered a curse word was when I was eight. Perhaps these days that would make me a late bloomer (you kids with your snap bracelets and Ace of Base, amirite?), but back then it was a pretty big deal, and it was attached to a big event — the unfettered hatred of my first self-purchased game – Ghosts ‘n Goblins for the NES. To say this game was a motherf@*ker is a monumental understatement. Capcom’s Ghost ‘n Goblins is widely considered one of the most difficult early arcade titles of all time, and I’ll readily admit that I could only get so far before throwing the controller and screaming myself out — my mother finding me in the fetal position; a mass of burning tears and snot.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr takes a gander at the demographically delineated movie selection this weekend. The ladies have Julia Roberts finding herself in Eat Pray Love. The dudes have Sly and the action family Stallone with the much anticipated The Expendables. And the fanboys fresh from Comic-Con have the high-concept slug-fest Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Sorry to all the teenage girls out there. You’ll just have to go see Eclipse at the dollar theater this weekend.

For many — especially those who love to see things stabbed, shot and ‘sploded with maximum force — all you really need from a legendary badass team-up like The Expendables is the action. There is no need for story or character development, no use for sharp or witty dialog, and no room for romance. It’s all about the loudest and most violent moments that the mind of director Sylvester Stallone can deliver. Nothing else really matters, right? Perhaps. But consider this. The Expendables flick that’s been playing out in your mind since the moment the project was announced is the epitome of a “no holds barred thrill ride,” is it not? A non-stop smattering of violence hung together by a generic, but mostly logical plot. It never lets up, does it? Unlike that movie that’s been playing in your head, the real Expendables film is a mixed bag. Inside this bag is the action that’s been promised from day one, the gigantic men of action making their requisite appearances (if only momentary, in some cases) and plenty of bodies to be piled up at the end of the day. Also in this bag is an unseemly amount of character and plot. Remember that thing you didn’t need in this testosterone-a-thon? Yeah, that’s all there. In just as much bulk as the stuff that you did want.

Lionsgate has released a new 60-second trailer for Sly Stallone’s The Expendables. And despite its brief runtime, it may be the best trailer they’ve released for the name-heavy actioner yet. It accurately captures the promised tone of the film, one filled with bullets and bravado. A mountain of machismo. Oh, and they’ve improved their choice of music a bit — I can’t stand that metal song they used in the first full trailer.

I’ve mentioned this a few times, but it’s worth saying again: I’ve got a great feeling about The Killer Elite. The Garry McKendry directed thriller is the story of former British special forces members, led by Clive Owen, who are being hunted down by assassins. To their rescue comes a former Navy Seal played by Jason Statham. This week, the production added the likes of Robert De Niro, Dominic Purcell and Adrian Young. It also added Chuck star Yvonne Strahovski. That works.

You’re looking forward to The Expendables, I’m looking forward to The Expendables, we’re all looking forward to The Expendables. Why? Because based on our most recent reader demographic survey, more than half of the people reading this are males.

You can have The Expendables, a collection of notable badasses spewing fire-power from celluloid. But if that doesn’t work out — and it might not, who knows — there will be other opportunities to see notably bad (in the good way) dudes take to killing each other and everyone else.

Here’s a pretty bad-ass pairing of badasses: Clive Owen and Jason Statham. The former has signed on — according to Variety — to the upcoming actioner The Killer Elite.

Lionsgate has released the first full trailer for Sylvester Stallone’s upcoming action power-house film The Expendables. And for the moment, it appears to also have a story to go along with big names, big muscles and explosions.

Lionsgate has just sent over the high resolution poster for Sylvester Stallone’s The Expendables. It debuted yesterday elsewhere, but I thought we’d wait until we had something that you could turn into your desktop background. This one may work, as it’s pretty high res.

If you had told me that I’d be writing up three trailers this evening and that the one starring Jason Statham would be the most appealing one I’d have called you mad. Mad! But then it happened anyway…

The internet is alive this evening with chatter of a promotional reel for Sylvester Stallone’s upcoming star-mongering actioner The Expendables.

The production blog behind Sly Stallone’s highly-anticipated actioner The Expendables has released a series of new photos this weekend, including a first look at tattoo artist Mickey Rourke.

Jason Statham has been cast in a movie! Will he take his shirt of at some point? (Rhetorical question.)

There are now two ways about this — Jason Statham is doing another movie in which he gets to kill a lot of people. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

In 140-characters via Twitter, Production Weekly is giving us all the relevant details this afternoon about a new project in development involving awesome action guy Jason Statham and Con Air director Simon West.

If you are headed out to see Crank 2 this weekend, it is likely that you think you know what sort of experience you are in for. Well friends, I’m here to tell you that you have no idea…

Kevin Carr reviews this week’s new movies: State of Play, Crank: High Voltage and 17 Again.

Neil has his tail between his legs because he hasn’t seen any movies this week, but he still maintains that he is awesome. Kevin enjoyed a nice dose of Zefron, and the Fat Guys remember two important things: If you white, you Ben Affleck; and Chic-fil-A is delicious!