This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr goes rogue and infiltrates his local IMAX theater. First, he scales the wall of the plus-sized building and slides in undetected through the air vents. He slowly lowers himself into a theater seat to enjoy an early screening of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. Unfortunately, he finds himself in the middle of a wild crowd of six-year-old kids for the early screening of the latest Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. To deal with the psychological damage, Kevin then stumbles into the Sherlock Holmes sequel and later finds an extra seat in Young Adult, where he can imagine that his chubby caboose could land a hottie like Charlize Theron.

There is absolutely no satisfying way to explain and introduce Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked in a classic film review format, because of one major hurdle – it’s a film about singing chipmunks that get shipwrecked (sigh, chipwrecked) on a seemingly unpopulated island. It’s hard to believe this is a real film (it’s nearly impossible to also believe that it’s the third film in a franchise), and it’s even harder to attempt to talk about it in a critical and professional manner. But let’s try. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked opens with human moron Dave Seville (Jason Lee) and his six-pack of fuzzy (children? paychecks? vermin?) heading off on what is meant to be restful holiday cruise. Dave is understandably exhausted after spending years of his life raising six chipmunks – Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Brittany, Jeanette, and the other one – who are also international signing superstars. The seven of them plan to use the cruise to relax before hitting the International Music Awards (sort of like the MTV Video Music Awards, but somehow even less important), where the boys (Alvin and the Chipmunks, so much for Simon and Theodore’s name recognition) and the girls (The Chipettes, much more equal opportunity) will likely rack up a bevy of awards. Of course, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes ultimately get marooned on a tropical island, thanks to (shockingly!) a move by ol’ troublemaker Alvin, a plan so stupid that even these damn singing chipmunks should have realized the depth of their idiocy [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

There’s only one thing more annoying than animated, talking animals having wacky mis-adventures that feel like forced fun for the whole family. That one thing is putting the animated voices through a machine that makes them higher pitched and squeakier. Fortunately for everyone with a five-year-old, the actor who once related a story about his cousin masturbating with a group of strangers on an airplane is now set to start filming Alvin and the Chipmunks 3: Cutesy Pun Name To Be Determined this January. We all have to grow up sometime. Hopefully, Jason Lee will soon. [Cinema Blend]

Kevin Carr sits his chubbiness down weighs in on Cop Out and The Crazies.

In Cop Out, for the first time, Kevin Smith takes on a script for hire. In place of Jay, Silent Bob, his other stock View Askew-niverse characters, the filmmaker works with screenwriters Robb and Mark Cullen to give us his 21st century version of the age-old interracial buddy cop formula.

Kevin Carr sits his chubbiness down and sees if Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, Sherlock Holmes and It’s Complicated can make the grade.

It appears as if Brodie from Mallrats is all grown up. Not only is Jason Lee making his way from Earl to another TV series, he’s taking to directing.. and he’s going back in time.

Set your guns to adorable. Then shoot these little bastards.

Jason Lee will be joining the cast of A Couple of Dicks, working yet again with frequent collaborator Kevin “Lunchbox” Smith.

At this rate, every single member of the NBC TV lineup will be in the Alvin and the Chipmunks film series. Need proof? Chuck’s Zachary Levi is down for the film sequel.

Like a lot of people, I did not have high expectations going in for Alvin and the Chipmunks.

The thought of a live-action version of Underdog isn’t an awful concept, but how it eventually came to fruition is.

“Aww Hell Naw!!” — Will Smith dominates the box office yet again, followed closely by a trio of CGI chipmunks.

After movies like Garfield and Underdog trampled over the memories of the original stories, I feared that a big-budget, CGI-animated film about the lovable chipmunks will turn out the same way.