This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr puts on some 3D glasses to look at some puss… in boots, that is. He proceeds to rewrite fairy tale fiction to include more bodily function humor, an egg-shaped Zach Galifianakis and a hairy but still sexy Salma Hayek. Then, he heads to the reference department of his local library to discover who really wrote the complete works of William Shakespeare. When all signs point to Neil Miller as the real author, Kevin gives up, realizing he’s out of time. So he brings sexy back and heads out to kidnap Amanda Seyfried so he can occupy Hollywood and start a revolution together… or get arrested.

Have you been shedding tears now that casting news for The Hunger Games is starting to die down? Fear not, because the next big series of young adult novels to be adapted to the big screen The Mortal Instruments is starting to fill its cast out as well, so we should have a whole new batch of casting decisions to scrutinize soon. “The Mortal Instruments” is a series of fantasy novels written by Cassandra Clare. They focus on the lead character of Clary Fray (the already cast Lily Collins), a teenage girl who discovers that she has the ability to see a whole world of demons and demon hunters that it hidden from the view of mortal men. As she starts exploring this new world, she comes across the typical teen fantasy novel stuff; the revelation that she is a very important figure in a very powerful bloodline, a love triangle between a dangerous bad boy and a sensitive quiet type, and a bunch of battles with yucky things that go bump in the night. The big news coming out of Mortal Instruments casting is that they’ve found their man (boy?) to play the character of Jace Wayland.

If there’s one thing I think we all wanted today, it was some brand new photos from the upcoming tween vampire lovefest Twilight: New Moon.