China in the early twentieth century is a land of strife, starvation and feuding warlords. Hao Jie (Andy Lau) is one of the strongest and most ruthless among them, even going so far as to kill an enemy within the walls of the sacred Shaolin temple. Together with his right-hand man, Tsao Man (Nicholas Tse), he murders and maims his way across the country with impunity. But his greed reaches its limit when bloodthirsty ambition combined with an act of betrayal destroys his family and leaves him for dead. Wounded and emotionally devastated, Hao takes refuge with the only people that will have him… the Shaolin monks. He can’t hide from his past forever though, and soon the new man he claims to be is forced to face the world of bloodshed he once called his own. Joining Hao in the fight are the honorable, ass-kicking monks and a wise-cracking cook (Jackie Chan), but will they be enough to defeat the new warlord hellbent on their destruction?

These days when people think of monks the image that comes to mind invariably falls into one of two categories. Some imagine docile men in robes chanting Gregorian tunes, and others probably picture Tony Shalhoub washing his hands. But once upon a time monks did far more than sell millions of cds and/or solve crimes. Once upon a time they used their meditative, agricultural, and martial arts skills to stand up against tyranny. Or maybe they didn’t. I have no clue in the matter, but if the trailer for the recent blockbuster, Shaolin, has any truth to it these men were bad ass mothers when push came to shove. The film is set in the 1920′s after China’s last imperial Dynasty has come to an end. Warlords control the land, and none are more ruthless than Hoe Jie (Andy Lau), but when he’s betrayed by one of his own and left with nothing he’s forced to seek solace and redemption at the legendary Shaolin Temple. He learns a new attitude and appreciation for both life and the living, but when his enemies return to finish the job they started he’ll stand with the monks in the most important battle they’ve ever faced. Check out the new trailer below for CineAsia’s upcoming release of Shaolin.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr follows Jamie Chung to Thailand, hoping to get married. Unfortunately, someone slips him roofies, which made him black out and spend a drunken night in Bangkok. Once he got out of that city, he headed over to China to become the new pot-bellied dragon warrior. After all, if a cartoon panda can do it, why can’t he? That didn’t stop him from spending another night in the hospital, and maybe a little time in a Bangkok jail. And then the real horror happened… Kevin saw The Tree of Life.

Because we’re all too broke to go to the theater or afford gold-plated rental services, FSR is offering free movies every Monday for the month of September. If this title doesn’t strike your fancy, head to Crackle.com to see what else they have for your viewing pleasure. The selection is great, and even better – the price is right. There’s a lot of talk about what the best martial arts movie of all time is. Do you go classic with Bruce Lee? Do you boldly go modern with Tony Jaa? Do you insist on a Woo-ping flick? While that world is a difficult one to navigate, the genre is one of the easiest to enjoy, and Drunken Master is one of the finest examples of it. Jackie Chan before he was Americanized delivers stunts that would leave Evil Knieval’s jaw on the floor and will leave most of your eyeballs there, too. Plus, it marries two of our favorite past times: getting drunk and fighting. If you love it, you know you want to see it again (even if you use it as an excuse to also watch Snake in Eagle’s Shadow). If you haven’t seen it, you owe it to yourself to stop reading my ramblings and go watch it.

His next film, a remake of The Karate Kid, is the kind of movie most web-savvy movie fans might not expect much from (or might downright despise the very idea of it as another studio-insisted reboot). With those expectations, the film is sure to surprise more than a few people, and, again, Zwart will be one of the main reasons for that.

I was fortunate enough to speak with the director about a variety of topics – the beauty of China, getting Will Smith to carry sound equipment, and the possibility of getting your ass kicked by an 11 year old.

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr hops in a time machine to 1984 to grade The A-Team and The Karate Kid.

Kevin and Neil hop in a time machine and travel back to 1984 to relive the glory days of The A-Team and The Karate Kid. Then they lay down a Fat Guy Five about 80s TV shows that should get their own movie before learning the true meaning of Mr. Belvedere.

Dre Parker (Jaden Smith) and his mother Sherry (Taraji P. Henson) have been relocated (with no other real financial options) to China, where Sherry will be working in the automobile plant there. When Dre gets his eyes blackened by another boy on playground, he becomes obsessed with learning how to defend himself, and finds an unwilling mentor in maintenance man Mr. Han (Jackie Chan). Dre falls in puppy love with Meiying (Wenwen Han), but he faces difficult training ahead and the threat of fighting his attacker in an open kung fu tournament.

They should do this for every action movie, not just the ones that involve Jackie Chan’s ill-advised facial hair experiments and Jaden Smith’s desperate attempts to take over the family business. Sony Pictures has released a trailer for The Karate Kid that is dedicated to one thing and one thing alone: action. Whether it’s young Chinese kids doing kick-flipping Parkour or Jackie Chan hitting Jaden Smith with what appears to be a broom handle and a boxing glove (ouch), it’s all about action.

This week we take a look at Jackie Chan’s latest film where he successfully mixes the buddy/road trip genre with class warfare, history, and slapstick. It’s Midnight Run with Chan playing the Robert DeNiro role…

Sony Pictures has released the full theatrical trailer for their upcoming reboot, The Karate Kid, starring Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan. And while this trailer does look like it might eventually turn into a movie worth of the moniker, I can’t help but feel as if The Kung Fu Kid might have been a more appropriate title for the film.

One man has a crisis of faith when his family loves The Tuxedo, and we pass it along to you. Enjoy your crisis.

Kevin Carr sits his chubbiness down and sees if The Book of Eli, The Spy Next Door and The Lovely Bones can make the grade.

The Fat Guys suffer through the January Sewer, which is the weeks of the new year that hold very little hope for quality films. They haven’t seen anything this week, due to non-screenings and late screenings, so they talk about the upcoming Spider-Man reboot.

Columbia Pictures has released the first teaser for the upcoming remake The Karate Kid, the rebirth of a fan favorite from the 1980s, which will star Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan. And oddly, it doesn’t suck.

Warning: These pictures are not suitable for anyone with OH MY GOD OUTTA THE WAY I’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

They weren’t kidding about the re-imagining of The Karate Kid that will star Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith. As proof, the folks at Spoiler TV have posted several images from the set of The Kung-Fu Kid.

Do you feel that nagging sensation deep in the back of your brain? That’s a desire you didn’t even know you had to watch Jackie Chan fornicate. It’s okay, we’ve all been there. Lucky for you Chan satisfies that urge here with a white hooker grinding away at him cowgirl style. (Although I’m pretty sure Chan had even less fun filming the scene than you’ll have watching it…) Oh, and the movie’s about illegal immigration and gang warfare in Tokyo.

Jackie Chan still beating ass, but not exactly laughing along the way in his new Chinese-language action drama Shinjuku Incident. Consider our attention captured.

Chan is trading acrobatics for acting lessons for Derek Lee’s new drama. A film that, we hope, contains no waxing on or waxing off.