When The Expendables first came to our attention, we were all psyched. By “our” and “we” I’m referring, of course, to just about every male born before 1990. These were our guys. Our heroes. All of them, together, in one place. Well, almost all of them. There were some notable figures missing, like Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, and Steven Seagal. As internet writers with a boner for lists, we all put together our dream cast for The Expendables 2.  Now that the film has arrived, men and awesome women everywhere were rewarded: Jean-Claude and Chuck Norris were both added to the  cast while Schwarzenegger and Willis both got expanded roles. Our action dreams were coming true! And while the word on The Expendables 2 is mostly positive, that hasn’t stopped the internet from churning out dream casting for the hopefully inevitable third installment. But here at Film School Rejects, we’re a little bit different. Why create another list of pretty cool action stars from the 80s or 90s? Everyone else is already doing that. We’re going the opposite direction, to Asylum Town.

They may be over the hill, but that doesn’t mean they still wouldn’t have us running and hiding.