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In honor of no special holiday in particular, we take a look at a few film characters that need to dance with Mary Jane. I change my name to Dr. Roberts for the day in order to diagnose a few crazed characters and prescribe something good for what ails them.

Underage drinking. Date rape. Unwanted pregnancy. If these things don’t scream ‘1940s Comedy Romp’ to you, then you haven’t been paying attention.

From production issues, legal troubles, and release date changes to the blind bashing against anything with Tom Cruise’s name attached to it… the buzz on Valkyrie has been non-existent. United Artists hopes to change that with the release of a new, action-packed and more stylized trailer.

Congratulations, Mr. Tarantino! We officially think this whole Inglorious Bastards thing is one big prank. Call us when you cast Larry the Cable Guy as Luftwaffe Commander #9.