Recently, it was reported that Universal Pictures ended their deal with Hasbro – meaning that movies adapted from Hasbro products that nobody wanted to see in the first place, like Ouija Board and Monopoly, now have very questionable futures. Or, at least, you would think that they would have very questionable futures. In actuality they all seem to be getting scooped up by other studios pretty quickly. First, Relativity Media acquired the rights to Stretch Armstrong, and now, in news that surely must be ushering in the end of the world, Sony and Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison are teaming up to make Candy Land, which Sandler himself intends on both co-writing and starring in. Kevin Lima (Enchanted) is attached to direct the project, with Robert Smigel and Sandler in talks to pen the screenplay. Why make a Candy Land movie? Columbia Pictures president Doug Belgrad says, ”Candy Land is more than just a game. It is a brand that children, parents and grandparents know and love. The world of Candy Land offers an extraordinary canvas upon which to create a fantastical, live-action family adventure film with a larger than life part for Adam. We are thrilled to partner with Hasbro and Happy Madison on this project.”

I dare you! I dare you to make it through the worst reviewed film on Rotten Tomatoes in 2011 (currently rocking a 0% with 35 reviews). I dare you to suffer from titles to credits the movie which brought in only an average of 212 people per screen during its entire nationwide two-week run. I dare you to face the horror of the movie that wasn’t screened for critics, even though the same studio still screened Jack and Jill later in the year. The only way to actually make it through the first ten minutes of Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, let alone the entire film, is to have a beer or glass of wine in hand, and plenty of it in reserve. One can only speculate that the people making the film had plenty of alcohol on the set, or they would have noticed the travesty they were making

I believe firmly that movie reviewers and critics should have their work cut out for them. All they do all day is watch movies, eat cookies and raw goat meat, and drink expensive beers you’ve never heard of before sitting down to their computer to pass judgment upon the latest feature film thousands of people poured their lives into. Thus, the least reviewers could do is make up their own puns. Sadly, Adam Sandler is making it too easy. According to The Hollywood Reported, Sandler will co-star with Andy Samberg for I Hate You Dad. The movie features a father who starts crashing at his son’s house shortly before the son is set to be married. The dad then starts fighting with the fiancee. Hilarity hopefully ensues, and I’ll let you guess who’s playing which role. Oddly enough, this could be a chance for Samberg (a guy most known for jizzing in his pants) to reach a wider audience that doesn’t know that he won a silver medal in the Space Olympics. On the other hand, it could also attempt to be a little edgy and actually,  I don’t know, be funny for the first time in Sandler’s career since 1999. Sidenote: If Adam Sandler were actually Andy Samberg’s father, he would have sired him at age 12. Movie magic!

In early April, we wrote about a very cool short film called Pixels, a cool NES-style sci-fi thriller. Today, we have news that it might become a feature film. Adam Sandler is involved. We’re not sure how to feel about that.

Adam Sandler will serve as executive producer of the upcoming thriller “Shortcut”, about brothers who take a rarely used shortcut in their town and find all sorts of unexpected terror. Yes, I’m talking about the “Zohan.”

It’s Steve Zahn, Superbad‘s Jonah Hill and Farva from Super Troopers searching for Big Foot. What more do you need?