ABC’S Once Upon a Time is a fairy tale soap opera with a melodramatic storyline that revolves around murder cover-ups, frame jobs, ill-fated lovers, and a no-nonsense female sheriff who curls her hair ever-so-slightly. Everything about the series, from the writing to the music box soundtrack to the art direction, is hokey and I know this to be true with every fiber of my being. But I can’t stop watching it. I mean, I seriously watch the hell out of this show. Sometimes I watch an episode on Sunday night when it first airs and then I’ll watch that same episode the next day On Demand. Later in the week, I may even watch that episode again. And, in the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you that I’m watching last Sunday’s episode as I’m writing this. So what is it about this super corny series that makes it so appealing? Created by Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, Once Upon a Time’s premise is…convoluted (but what else would you expect from a couple of erstwhile Lost staff writers?). On the day that Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) marries her Prince Charming (Josh Dallas), Snow’s stepmonster, the Evil Queen Regina (Lana Parrilla) curses the lovers and everyone else in Fairy Tale Land, threatening to destroy their happiness.

Anyone who has ever had to keep a secret knows staying mum is more chore than awesome. It’s one of those things that, as I’ve aged, I’ve grown to hate more than anything. I understand and respect the importance of secrets. I just don’t understand the drama behind them. Or, for that matter, the sheer thrill when one finally unravels. I’ve learned from both personal and filmic examples just how when you keep something scandalous inside you for so long, eventually it will eat you from the inside out. Nothing has driven my absolute disgust for secret relationships more than this year’s Something Borrowed,a film that causes both our own Kate Erbland and myself to want to punch babies. In the face. While there is more than one reason to hate the vile, troubling nature of a film pitting two supposedly best friends against each other, what I always come back to when the horrible, PTSD-like flashbacks of the film hit is how difficult it must be juggling so many lies with people one should care about. Even worse is that the lies involve having sex with someone you shouldn’t and then secretly hoping another person finds out. The thrill of the tryst is the same thrill of exposure. The film’s plot has been well-documented. Based on the Emily Giffin novel of the same title, Something Borrowed follows the mousey, “smart” girl Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) and her frienemy relationship with Darcy (Kate Hudson) as they both navigate their newly minted 30′s and prepare

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr sulks his head at not being able to see all the cool stuff that’s going on at Comic-Con 2010, but he knows he’s the lucky one because he was able to see Ramona and Beezus, Suck on that! Oh, and he gets a gander at Angelina Jolie in Salt, which ain’t bad, either.

What’s so fresh about Anne Hathaway or Jessica Biel? C’mon Variety!