Spoilers for Game of Thrones through the end of season three begin now. Consider yourselves warned, lowborns. The formula is there, all executive producers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have to do is follow it. In season one, a massive ninth episode saw the head of the show’s poster hero roll in “Baelor.” What followed was a tenth episode that reshuffled the deck, brought into focus the “War of the Five Kings” and propelled the story forward with little stops along the way with all of our favorite supporting characters. At the end of season two, the massive, focused effort of “Blackwater” was followed by a road-trip around Westeros (and beyond) to check in on all the now-scattered pieces of what remained. The War of the Five Kings certainly wasn’t over, but it had hit its most dire hours. Armies burned to a crisp, the men of the North far from home and a Queen on the far side of the world barely escaping with her life and those of her dragons. For season three, there was no other way to end. After “The Rains of Castamere,” or more appropriately The Red Wedding, an event so monumentally brutal that it instantly became one of the cornerstones of this show’s very legacy, the only way to go would be softer, quieter, warmer. Otherwise no one would want to wait a year to see what happens next. And so it went with “Mhysa,” season three’s uneventful reshuffling. Some pieces had to be

There’s a scene in Silver Linings Playbook, one of last year’s big Oscar contenders, in which Bradley Cooper’s mentally unstable character, Pat Solitano, is reading Ernest Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms. He ends up tossing the book through a window, following with a rant about the unnecessary heartbreak that plays out near the end of the oft-assigned reading for high schoolers. It’s bullshit, he shouts in the wee hours of the morning (I’m paraphrasing, of course). Why should an otherwise heroic and heartwarming story end with such agony? Mental instability aside, I know that feeling. I remember it vividly. My moment occurred similar to that of the fictional Pat, both happened in the wee hours of the morning and both involved throwing a book violently in disgust with a particular turn of events. The only difference, of course, is that I don’t look much like Bradley Cooper. And the slayer of my goodwill and optimism wasn’t Ernest Hemingway, it was George R.R. Martin. Tonight, somewhere around 10:00PM in whatever time zone you reside, those of you who have never read any of the Song of Fire and Ice books found out exactly to what I am referring. And thanks to some exceptional storytelling choices by the Game of Thrones team, you really got to feel it. Like that night I put a dent in the wall with A Storm of Swords, this is one you’ll never forget.

Well, that was a little awkward, was it not? Last night’s episode of Game of Thrones was far more glamorous than usual. The slightly more modern shift in setting, the sequins, the 15% increase in gay sex action. Also, the addition of Matt Damon to the cast is a real win for this series. It’s about time they started to pull in some bigger names, this is a cultural revolution, after all. Wait, that can’t be right. What did I just watch? Ah yes, Game of Thrones was off this week to make way for the premiere of Behind The Candelabra, the film about Liberace and his man-friend. So while there will not be any episode to review, Blog of Thrones continues its march across the lands of Westeros. There’s always something to discuss. So lets start with this week’s most important question: Was Behind the Candelabra fabulous, or what?

Game of Thrones is many things, least among them is subtle about its weekly themes. It’s part of the experience, as we’ve seen it develop over the years, to watch D.B. Weiss, David Benioff and the rest of the writing team parse together stories from all over the world of Ice and Fire in a way that makes them fit together despite great geographical, philosophical and tonal differences. This week’s episode, “Second Sons,” is no different. It’s the kind of slower, more meticulous episode that digs a little deeper into the greater notions of faith and honor, love and duty. It’s also filled with moments both sweet and sour for characters we like, those we don’t and those whose true nature is yet to be revealed to us. It is on this note that we begin our weekly Blog of Thrones discussion of episode eight, a sweet and sour appetizer to whatever darkness lays ahead. From here, there will be advanced talking points from this week’s episode, “Second Sons.” Read on at your own peril.

In this week’s edition of Blog of Thrones, I’m going to tell you a few things that I learned from reading George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire books. Not spoilers, obviously. But insights that make this week’s episode of Game of Thrones, appropriately titled “The Bear and the Maiden Fair,” all the more poignant and interesting. Because this week’s episode is rife with symbolism and plenty of George R.R. Martin’s favorite things. It’s appropriate then, that this week’s episode is also season three’s writing credit for Martin. It’s an episode that so perfectly embues all that makes Martin a fun read, that not talking about the books a bit would be a missed opportunity. And like the show it covers, Blog of Thrones does not miss opportunities. From here, there will be advanced talking points from this week’s episode, “The Bear and the Maiden Fair.” Read on at your own peril.

Compared with last week’s episode, Game of Thrones‘ sixth frame of season three was a bit of calm following what was a furious episode of movement. It’s fitting, then, that it begins with a rather quite scene by the fire, checking in on Samwell Tarly and his stolen wildling girl Gilly. Still her most awkward of heroes — not even fit to start a damn fire — Sam attempts to pass their time in the wilderness Beyond the Wall with a soothing song. Just as a fiery sword battle set the tone for last week’s rage, Sam’s tender moment establishes the big goal for “The Climb”: it’s about moving characters forward with smaller, calmer moments. And taking a trip into much darker territory. From here, there will be advanced talking points from this week’s episode, “The Climb.” Read on at your own peril. 

Tonight’s edition of Movie News After Dark keeps it simple as we bring you back from your weekend. Hopefully you got a little sun, as we’re about to jettison you into space to talk a little Star Trek, but not before we check in with the progress of this week’s big star, Iron Man.

This may not be the real reason, but I’m ever-suspicious that George R.R. Martin’s third book in the A Song of Ice and Fire franchise is called A Storm of Swords because it feels every bit like a storm. So much happens in book three that Game of Thrones producers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have had to break the thousand-paged behemoth into two seasons. Don’t worry though, this week’s Blog of Thrones won’t be digging into the who, what and why of the book. That’s not this column’s style. It’s here for those who have not read ahead. I only make mention of the book’s title and action-crammed nature because this week’s episode, “Kissed By Fire,” exemplifies the book upon which it’s based in every way. After two episodes of scheming and positioning, season three has broken into an all-out sprint. This being the season’s busiest episode by far is by no means a bad thing. It just means that we all have to keep up as the storm grows… From here, there will be advanced talking points from this week’s episode, “Kissed by Fire.” Read on at your own peril. 

Tonight on Movie News After Dark, we start with new images from the HBO Game of Thrones production team, both of which include dragons. Because that’s what you’re in it for, right? Beyond dragons, we’ve also got words of warning for GoT book readers, stories about film criticism and the sounds of Michael Bay’s latest to send you off to the weekend. Okay, here’s one more dragon…

On tonight’s rousing edition of Movie News After Dark, we make stops in the TARDIS library for books, Westeros for tough women, South Florida for spring breakahs, Facebook for some nerdiness and the trailer park for a fan-made Man of Steel credits sequence that will blow your mind. Don’t worry, I hear there’s a cream for that.

Why does HBO get indie bands to do music for Game of Thrones? Where can you go if you want to smell Tony Stark inside his Iron Man suit? What kind of a world would we live in if Wolverine vs. Velociraptors existed? All this an more in tonight’s Movie News After Dark.

Season three of Game of Thrones has finally started killing people. And not just anyone, as we’ll discuss in this week’s epic, thoughtful edition of Blog of Thrones. For those reading along, as always, we’re not getting into any spoiler territory. Sometimes a little bit of bookishness will shine through, but at no point will we discuss any events that have not happened yet in the show. With that in mind, lets get on with it. Because as season three has its first big character death, it also now has a number of great accelerating storylines.

Prior to this week’s episode, we’ve been doing a lot of walking, talking, catching up with old friends and for the most part, have not yet begun to spin up the wheels of this season’s rising action. While it has been fun, and as opposed to last season far better handled by the show’s brass, it’s about time Game of Thrones lets loose some arrows and dismemberment in its third season. As it turns out, that’s what episode three is all about. Reminder: Blog of Thrones is meant to be friendly to those who have not read the books. It will only discuss events that have happened up through the current episode. No spoilers in the article, so please no spoilers in the comments. Don’t be that guy (or girl). 

Beyond the continuation of the festival of walk-and-talk that is customary this early in a season of Game of Thrones, season three episode two, entitled ‘Dark Wings, Dark Words,’ also brings with it several less-than-idle threats. In fact, thanks to some extended time spent with members of the Stark clan, it gets well into the territory of being ominous. Those Starks, they are a bunch of dire wolves. Get it… dire? Anyway, it is with these most ominous moments that we begin our descent into this week’s Blog of Thrones.

In the intense closing moments of Game of Thrones‘ second season, we learned a new phrase. “Valar Morghulis,” or “all men must die.” A traditional expression in High Valyrian spoken by Jaqen H’ghar to Arya Stark right before he turns into a completely different person. That was quite a way to finish that particular storyline in season two. And given the amount of death that was wrought on Westeros in the final two episodes of the last season, Valar Morghulis pretty much sums it up. Don’t act like you weren’t impressed. It’s also fitting that season three opens with “Valar Dohaeris,” which translates to “all men must serve,” as the opening frame of the highly anticipated third season spends a great deal of time viewing the aftermath of Blackwater, Qarth and the war in the North through the experiences of those who serve the (still) many kings who challenge for the Iron Throne. It’s with those experiences that we pick up our Blog of Thrones, an ongoing exploration of one of television’s most compelling adventures.

Tonight’s edition of Movie News After Dark is a Friday free-for-all. William Shatner fights Gorn, WonderCon explodes, Ron Burgundy reproduces, we learn lessons of Westeros and I sit the Iron Throne in defiance of the North Korean threat to central Texas.

Your Thursday night will end with Anna Kendrick being the most adorable person on the face of the planet. But before that, we’ll talk about why Game of Thrones is the most important show ever, why fans of Selena Gomez need to get over Spring Breakers and why Jon Stewart’s directorial debut is already getting panned. It’s all here on Movie News After Dark.

Tonight on America’s #1 nightly entertainment news column, the Bluth family changes television forever, Harvey Weinstein is a playa, Hollywood is done with sex and Damon Lindelof explains himself (or Prometheus 2). Also, Terrence Malick jokes.

301 days. Not that anyone’s counting, but that is how long it will have been when “Valar Dohaeris,” the first episode of Game of Thrones‘ highly anticipated third season debuts. That’s how long we’ve had to wait since season two took its final bow. Not that anyone’s counting. For my own part, the opportunity to bring back the Blog of Thrones is a great one. Truly one of the most enjoyable parts of my job, blogging through the kingdom of Westeros offers my usually tame sensibilities to explode into the realm of fantasy. Long have I not been one for big fantasy adventures (sorry, Lord of the Rings and Star Wars), there’s something about George R.R. Martin’s creation that has captured my spirited attention. So here we are, almost a year removed from where we left off. It’s time to take a look back, talk season two (spoilers aplenty, so be sure you’re caught up) and a look forward to what we might expect from season three (no book spoilers, just wild hints and accusations). Come along as we continue our journey toward taking the Iron Throne for ourselves.

In tonight’s round-up of the best news and notes that didn’t grow up to be bigger stories, we’ve got all genres. Star Wars and Jurassic Park representing the genre known as geek bait, Iron Man 3 in the corner of superhero flicks, Spring Breakers in for whatever the hell genre its in, and You’re Next in for some horror. As you can see above, it’s some serious horror.