Last April, an amazing trailer hit the web that was subsequently taken down. While it lasted, it showed Will Ferrell playing a character named Armando Alvarez in a ridiculous Spanish-language film that looked a heck of a lot like one of those super-sexy and deadly dramatic Mexican telenovelas that you can catch on Telemundo during the day. It had comedic actors like Nick Offerman, dramatic actors like Gael Garcia Bernal, and a mocha-skinned (TM Ricky Martin) hottie named Genesis Rodriguez. It instantly became one of my most highly-anticipated films on the release date horizon, but after the trailer got jerked, I had not heard hide nor hair of it. That all changed today when I read a report from THR that Pantelion Films has announced that they have acquired the U.S. distribution rights to the film, and will be putting it out in theaters on March 16, 2012. Pantelion CEO Paul Presburger said of their acquisition, “We cannot imagine a better vehicle than Casa de mi Padre to demonstrate how a Spanish language film can appeal to a broad mainstream audience. We are enthusiastic about joining forces with NALA Films on this project and feel that Will, Matt and Andrew have proven that if it’s funny, we all laugh in the same language.” These are, truly, deeply poetic and moving words from Mr. Presburger. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go call my Mexican friend Eric.

In a week where a trailer was released where apes take over the planet, I think that this trailer for the upcoming Will Ferrell comedy Casa de mi Padre is still the coolest, weirdest thing I’ve seen. In former SNL writer and Funny or Die contributor Matt Piedmont’s first film, you’ve got Will Ferrell playing a Mexican named Armando Alvarez and speaking only in Spanish, Nick Offerman in full Ron Swanson mustache asking people if they speak American, awesome dramatic actors like Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal trading ridiculous dialogue, and a hottie named Genesis Rodriguez two palming Will Ferrell’s bare ass. The film plays like a big budget telenovela, and while it is clearly a ridiculous comedy, it seems to get the telenovela feel right by taking itself terribly seriously. In Casa de mi Padre’s own mind, it is the awesomest movie that ever existed. The trailer goes as far as listing for you all of the awesome things it features, up to and including, guns, cigarettes, special effects, and slaps. I don’t know how you can argue with that.  Take a load off and give it a gander, you won’t be sorry.

The last few weeks have been emotionally exhausting and utterly surreal for me, and visiting with some of my favorite movies for advice has been a big help in moving forward. Of course this isn’t the same as talking with a good friend or crying into a whole box of Dunkin Donuts Munchkins (with sprinkles!), but sometimes the stories unfolding on screen just make you feel better in a way talking and eating just can’t. All my time watching movies has taught me if a heartbroken soul can get through it, head held high and sane, so can I. But where do we draw the line between real and too real when it comes to romance and sex in film? Sex complicates, but does it also have to destroy the lives involved? In Cruel Intentions, sex is used as a key element in an emotionally manipulative game between Kathryn and Sebastian, whereas in Y Tu Mama Tambien sex leaves best friends confused about their future, and in Blue Valentine sex brings upon the end of a relationship representing so many couples before and after. In each of these films, the act itself is both poignant and flawed, and no one walks away uninjured.

Depp was once believed to be a lock for playing the titular character in Emir Kusturica’s upcoming film The Seven Friends of Pancho Villa and the Woman With Seven Fingers, but delays on the project and too many upcoming obligations on his plate have forced him to step back from the role. This couldn’t have been an easy decision as reportedly he and Kusturica are pretty chummy. But what could be seen as a fairly big blow for the developing feature might not be so big of a deal after all. Blic reports that there are already two possible stars likely to step in and take Depp’s place. More good news abounds due to the fact that they are both accomplished actors, and they are both actually Hispanic to some degree. Maybe Pancho Villa didn’t need to be played by the kid from 21 Jump Street after all? The first guy rumored to play the role is Mexican actor Gael Garcia Bernal. He’s already sucked up big time trying to land the part at the Kustendorf film festival by saying, “I believe Emir is the only director who can do the Pancho Villa story. Even better than any Mexican director. You know why? Because he is a kind of Pancho Villa in his own right.” Okay. Really? In what respect? And if that killer quote wasn’t enough, Bernal goes on to posit, “I will probably land the leading role because of physical resemblance with Pancho Villa.” Can’t argue with that logic, [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

There are few things better in this life than realizing something ridiculous is real. It’s like the first time you found out chocolate chip pancakes weren’t some elaborate ruse invented by your parents to get you to the oatmeal-filled breakfast table. Come on. Seriously? It’s pancakes with chocolate in them? The cinematic chocolate chips in this case are falling where they may, and that happens to be in the big warm pancake of Will Ferrell’s Spanish-language comedy Casa de Mi Padre. Not only is the project real, it’s also got a hell of a cast lined up. Both Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna are phenomenal talents – the kind of talents that would be challenged by something like this to great result. Bernal will play a friend of the Ferrell/Luna family with Luna filling in for John C. Reilly this go round as Ferrell’s brother. Before you ask, yes, theoretically they could end up naked in bed together again. Although it’s great that Ferrell has gotten some great help for the film, it won’t matter if he keeps thinking everything in the language means “Whale Vagina.” [Collider]

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr isn’t a very merry man, taking a look at Robin Hood, Letters to Juliet and Just Wright.

‘Letters to Juliet’ is a predictable, bland romance without much appeal, but then it wasn’t made for me and probably, FSR reader, wasn’t made for you either.

Since I quit sniffing baboon blood to get high, the only thing I have left that’s on par is this new trailer for Jim Jarmusch’s The Limits of Control. It seems fairly par for the course considering the filmmaker’s track record.

Lets face it, not every film can be a winner, no matter how badly you want it to be good. This particular theory was one that I was reminded of this week as I screened Fernando Meirelles’ latest film Blindness.