Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; if it wasn’t for bad luck, we’d have won that chicken-fried cake eating contest. You have walked under the ladder of decent web content, smashing a few mirrors on your way, and have crossed paths with the black cat of bad movie columns. Every week we step on the cracks of a schlocky film, breaking its back and spilling salt into its wounds. But then, as we’re spinning around three times like boozed-up dreidels, we offer the film the better part of a wishbone with our genuine love and affection. To put a fourth leaf on this clover, we will suggest a themed snack food item that is sure to hex your digestive track as badly as the movie hexes your IQ. This week’s unlucky charm: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan.

Rob Hunter loves movies. He also loves slinging hash and pouring stout at The Slaughtered Lamb. These two joys come together in the form of cash money payments that he receives every week and immediately uses to buy more DVDs. This week we take a look at a couple furry manimals, some suspense from abroad, and a mother who covers her kitchen floor with warm milk fresh from the source (and I don’t mean a cow).