I mooch Showtime off of family, friends, and strangers so it wasn’t until earlier this week that I was able to finagle my way into someone’s home to watch the Dexter finale. This is less of a personal confession and more of a warning. Yes, I will be breaking in to your house this Christmas/Hanukkah to jack cable TV from you but more importantly, if you don’t always watch Dexter finales when they originally air and still haven’t seen the shocking yet, in many ways, inevitable conclusion to season 6, then I suggest that you stop reading this right now. Though, before we address those last couple of minutes, let’s look at the season as a whole, which was the most ambitious, heavy-handed, and ultimately weirdest to date.

Every day, come rain or shine or internet tubes breaking, Film School Rejects showcases a trailer from the past. Movies are all about telling us to be nicer to nature and the environment and to hug a tree. It’s disgusting. But it’s not disgusting when we have to learn that lesson because a God-like terror wolf is slashing the flesh of corporate CEOs to violently pay for our crimes against Mother Earth. That’s the fun kind of lesson. But what are Albert Finney, Edward James Olmos, and Gregory Hines doing in flick? No idea. It’s not werewolves….it’s…. Check out the trailer for yourself:

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr dresses up in a trench coat and hat, wears a mask and runs around the streets of his fair city with his strong and agile Asian manservant. The plan: When arrested, tell the police he is trying to emulate the crime-fighting career of the Green Hornet. If he can get away with that, he plans on tracking down two doughy but funny guys who are having sexual relations with super-hot Hollywood type ladies and try to steal their girlfriends away. Or, he just might sit on the couch and watch movies after telling you what he thinks of The Green Hornet and The Dilemma.

Check out this video, titled Battlestar Rhapsody, is a play on the Queen song “Bohemian Rhapsody” with the entire series of Battlestar Galactica as its subject.

During an appearance this past weekend at Wizard World in Chicago, Battlestar Galactica star and living legend of awesome Edward James Olmos said that his future, and the future of humanity, rest in Michel Gondry’s upcoming big screen version of The Green Hornet.

Here we are. Finally, the season finale for one of the best television shows on cable. Bill Adama is set to lead a team of volunteers on a suicide mission around the orbit of a black hole to rescue Hera, who has been kidnapped by Cylon Numero Uno.

Galactica is being dismantled, and the crew is preparing to move to the other ships in the fleet, including the Rebel Cylon Basestar. During this process, Adama plans a rescue mission for Hera while various members of the fleet flash back to their lives on Caprica before the fall.

The Cylons aboard Galactica confer with the Admiral on how to mount a rescue mission for Hera, while Boomer is well on her way to bringing the child to Number One. Meanwhile, Adama struggles with the decision to abandon the Battlestar.

With Boomer in the brig of Galactica, President Roslin has been asked to extradite her to the rebel Cylon Basestar to be tried for treason. Tyrol fears that she will be executed and arranges her escape, only to learn she has a secret plan.

Ellen, the final Cylon returns to Battlestar Galactica to be reunited with Saul, only to find that he has gotten Caprica Six pregnant

With the Galactica mutiny squelched, Adama is trying to pick up the pieces. Meanwhile, we learn the fate of the final Cylon.

The military coup led by Felix Gaeta and Tom Zarek spins into high gear. Meanwhile, Apollo and Starbuck are gathering support throughout Galactica with hopes of taking back the ship.

Felix Gaeta gets in bed with Tom Zarek, arranging a mutiny on Galactica and taking control of the Battlestar from the bridge. Plus, the two oldest dudes in the fleet show that they can still beat the holy crap out of a couple marines.

With the hopes of a home on Earth dashed, the fleet has fallen into emotional despair. Tom Zarek sees this as his opportunity to gain power over President Roslin, who has been in hiding since the discovery of Earth.

The loss of hope in the fleet, and particularly on Galactica, send the people into a massive depression. Admiral Adama struggles to bring sanity back to the fleet and offer a new hope.

If you are like me, then you are generally drawn into a 45 minute argument every time someone around you mentions the “final Cylon.” It is a cross that we, the indoctrinated of Battlestar Galactica, must bear.

EJO is what us “Battlestar” nerds call Edward James Olmos. Deal with it.