Brett Ratner. Tower Heist. The Oscar debacle. I think it’s time we gazed into our crystal balls – heh, heh, heh – to a much simpler point in Eddie Murphy’s career. He found success on Saturday Night Live, even brought out a few fans here and there with 48 Hours, but it wasn’t until 1984 and Beverly Hills Cop that he became an A-list movie star. It remains a classic, a pinnacle of Murphy’s career, and to this day remains one of the biggest comedies of all time. And who directed it, you might ask. Why, it’s none other than Martin Brest, the guy who would go on to make that hilarious comedy where Brad Pitt bounces off two cars and Gigli. Yes, he made Gigli. You think there’s a reason the guy hasn’t been heard from since 2003? He didn’t die. Oh, right, back to Beverly Hills Cop. Here is what Martin Brest had to say about this comedy classic. I’m sure I’ll be stopping and rewinding this commentary an awful lot listening to Harold Faltermeyer’s theme and watching this over and over and over and over and over again. It never gets old.

The last forty-eight hours have been tumultuous ones for this year’s Academy Awards telecast. First, the show’s producer Brett Ratner was unceremoniously asked to step down from his position after the world realized that he was a creep. Then his host, Eddie Murphy, soon followed, wishing the new producer and new host the best of luck. Fans all over the web were in an agitated state, debating who should take their places, with a large contingent actively campaigning for a very Muppet Oscars. The Academy seems to be in a bit of a panic though, because less than a day later they’ve already locked their choices down, and the replacements they found can most accurately be described as safe. First, it was announced that Brian Grazer would be the new producer. After this, speculation began to run rampant that Billy Crystal would be the most logical and easy choice for Grazer to plug in as host, seeing as he’s done the job so many times and has a seemingly endless enthusiasm for the gig. Sure enough, earlier today Crystal took to his @BillyCrystal Twitter account and made the following announcement, “Am doing the Oscars so the young woman in the pharmacy will stop asking my name when I pick up my prescriptions. Looking forward to the show.” Since then, the Academy’s official account has retweeted Crystal’s claims, making things pretty official.

What an epically bad week for Eddie Murphy – Tower Heist didn’t do so hot at the box office, then Brett Ratner had to go and run his filthy and idiotic mouth all around town, and almost immediately both Ratner and Murphy were out as Oscars producer and host, respectively. But no matter how bad Murphy’s week is, it’s absolutely no excuse for this latest Murphy monstrosity, a trailer for the heinous A Thousand Words, conveniently appearing on the Internet just as Murph-buzz reaches its fever pitch. The plot of A Thousand Words is essentially that of Liar Liar with a slight (very, very slight) twist. Eddie Murphy plays an asshole who finds out he can only utter a thousand more words before he dies. That’s it. Hilarious, right? If you haven’t had enough Murphy-based shenanigans in your week so far, check out the trailer after the break. I warned you.

Last night’s Movie News After Dark column reported the news that Brett Ratner was forced to resign from being the producer of this year’s Academy Awards telecast due to publicly making some homophobic comments that offended a number of people who viewed them as hate speech, and disgusted everyone else who viewed them as sobering proof that there are still men in their 40s who talk like 15-year-old kids trying to impress their friends while drinking Slurpees in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven. The news that Ratner would be stepping down as producer was viewed as a negative to absolutely no one. But there has now been some collateral damage from Ratner’s exit that’s bound to bum some people out. In the wake of Ratner’s resignation The Academy has made an announcement that Eddie Murphy has stepped down as the host of the show as well. It seems that Eddie feels that a new producer would be better off stepping into a completely fresh situation with their own host rather than trying to continue work on what had already been done, because when asked about his decision he said, “First and foremost I want to say that I completely understand and support each party’s decision with regard to a change of producers for this year’s Academy Awards ceremony. I was truly looking forward to being a part of the show that our production team and writers were just starting to develop, but I’m sure that the new production team [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

One of the great misconceptions about Hollywood is that it is a liberal institution. Several false assumptions inform this misconception: thinking of “Hollywood” as a monolithic entity in any way besides its shared corporate infrastructure, confusing public endorsements of celebrity politicians by celebrity movie stars as political activism, thinking that left-leaning consumers of movies see Hollywood as representing their political beliefs in any way, selectively reading a limited number of texts (e.g., Green Zone “proves” Hollywood’s liberalism, but every superhero movie ever isn’t proof of its conservatism), and, most importantly, thinking that the most public figures associated with Hollywood (i.e., stars and filmmakers) are Hollywood. This last point I think is one that has continued to be the least considered when such straw man critiques are drawn, because Hollywood here is equated only with its most visible figures who overshadow its intricate but also not-so-shrouded political economy. It’s no mistake that despite the fluctuating numbers of major and minor Hollywood studios in the past 100 years, the most powerful studios, like the biggest banks in the nation, have been referred to as “The Big Five.” And indeed, to the surprise of no one, both Big Fives have had and are continuing a lucrative relationship with one another. Hollywood’s agenda, of course, has always been profit, and the representatives of this ideology are not George Clooney and Matt Damon, but Michael Lynton and Amy Pascal (Chairman/CEO & Co-Chairman, Sony/Columbia), Stephen Blairson (CEO, 20th Century Fox), Brad Grey (Chairman/CEO, Paramount), Ronald Meyer [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr grabs a protest sign and a test so he can occupy something. All the big cities are taken, so he decides to Occupy Hollywood, but being one of the 99%, he can’t afford a plane ticket from Ohio to California. So, he occupies his local multiplex, squatting in the front of their biggest screen. There, he has a chance to check out the loosely-related Tower Heist and later drinks some spiked egg nog and wanders into a later screening of A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas. At least that’s what he’s telling the authorities.

When you hear the music for a horror film, you know you’re in for suspenseful strings and make-you-jump percussion while the music in a romance will swell in the moments leading up to that big proclamation. But for a heist film, the musical landscape is a bit more complicated. The music has to walk that line between action and suspense so it helps drive the action on screen while still leaving audiences on the edge of their seats waiting to see what will happen next. The music must lull you into the action as you find out about the heist and then keep your adrenaline pumping as that plan is carried out (or is at least attempted). Whether you are boosting cars in Fast Five or ideas in Inception, the music works to imitate the thieves themselves from the more quiet moments while setting up the plan to the all out action once you break into the necessary getaway. Tower Heist establishes its theme early (read: the opening credits) with subtle tones that sound almost like the buttons on an ATM or safe being pressed. Composer Christophe Beck is no stranger to heist films having also scored The Pink Panther re-boot back in 2006, but where The Pink Panther was a comedy, Tower Heist takes itself more seriously. Naturally a film with Eddie Murphy is not lacking in the joke department (the film’s trailer alone proves that), but when it comes to planning and carrying out the actual plan, Tower [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

Josh Kovacs is, quite simply, outstanding at his job. Back-breaking early hours don’t faze the manager of the chi-chi Tower apartment building, one of the most glitzed-out residences in Manhattan, as he uses that time to beef up his knowledge of fancy cheeses and impressive wines in order to seamlessly recommend them to his high-end clientele. But Josh (Ben Stiller) isn’t just interested in impressing his residents (particularly penthouse owner Arthur Shaw), he’s also equally involved in the lives of his employees. Josh buys the Tower lifestyle hook, line, and sinker – obsessed with keeping his workers at the top of their game so as to provide the best experience for all Tower residents, an experience that will thus ensure longevity in the careers of all those Tower employees. It’s a machine that works, with Josh manning all the gears with a goofy grin on his face. But toss a wrench in that machine, and everything grinds to a halt. Josh’s life works when everyone does their job and does it well – whether that job be operating one of the Tower’s elevators or being a gracious resident. When money man Shaw (Alan Alda) is accused of bilking his clients out of millions of dollars, it stings Josh enough (after all, isn’t Shaw just a Brooklyn boy like Josh?), but when the deeper deception comes to light, Josh’s work ethic and mental stability both go soaring out the metaphorical skyscraper window. Shaw didn’t just play the old financial cup game [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]

You should read the interview in its long-form, or even just the highlights, but Rolling Stone has convinced Eddie Murphy to sit down for his first chat in a long while, and the result is the kind of thing that gets an Amen from the last pew in the row. At 50, the actor has “no interest” in doing more family movies – a genre that never gelled with his comic sensibilities in the first place – and even though Beverly Hills Cop 4 isn’t going to happen, he’s still looking to do “edgy stuff.” It would seem as though he has a firm grasp on his own financial security and his ability to turn down jobs (although that realization seems to have come a few years too late), because he’s ready to give up on movies if the right projects don’t come along. If they don’t, he’s content to hang out in a giant house playing guitar, or to get back on the road doing stand-up comedy. Putting Murphy in family movies was like casting a tank in a ballet. In a way, this announcement comes from a coma patient finally rousing in his hospital bed, and while retirement would at least save the world from more Meet Daves, the optimum option for fans is for the comedy legend to find some scripts that play to his strengths and get him back in the game in a major way.  

The relationship between film studios and movie theaters is an oddly contentious one. You’d think the two would be the best of friends as few entertainment experiences can rival watching a fantastic film in a well run theater, but instead the two parties seem consistently at odds. They’re constantly fighting over the percentage of gross profits each one should get, they’ve recently started bickering about who should foot the bill for the cost of 3D glasses, and now at least one studio is making a bold move sure to anger theater owners even more. Per the LA Times, Universal will be making the upcoming Brett Ratner joint, Tower Heist, available on VOD just three weeks after it opens in theaters. It’s limited to two markets for now, so only movie fans in Atlanta and Portland, Oregon will be able to order the film from the comfort of their living room couch for the totally reasonable price of just $59.99. Sounds high to be sure, but the average movie ticket in theaters is around ten bucks, so if you can find five more people interested in seeing Murphy, Stiller and friends in a Ratner film then you’re golden. You also probably have friends with poor cinematic taste.

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news column that refuses to wear a fat suit. Unless it’s Halloween, because then it will be dressing up as Patton Oswalt. Because no one else is doing it, even though they should be. For those who have not heard yet, Eddie Murphy will host the upcoming 84th edition of the Academy Awards. According to show producer and Murphy fanclub vice president Brett Ratner, Eddie Murphy was meant to be Oscar host. Because the golden guy’s special night needs nothing more than a little fatsuit comedy — that’s why!

There are two elements to this bit of news. One, they’re making a live-action/animation hybrid of Hong Kong Phooey. What does that mean? It means that instead of using traditional animation to make a feature length film, Alcon Entertainment will be making something that resembles the original cartoon instead of actually looking like it. Imagine the difference between the cartoon Smurfs and the ones that ended up walking around New York City. Therein lies a major problem with updating animated characters. There is a mile-wide gap between the character as people know and love them, and the character as restylized through a computer. But not to fear, The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that Eddie Murphy will be stepping behind the gi to voice the kung fu fighting dog of 70s fame. In the original cartoon, Penry was a janitor that cast off his mild-mannered alter ego and became Hong Kong Phooey whenever there was trouble.

The entire setup for the Tower Heist trailer is solid and pretty damned timely. A staff at an incredibly schmancy apartment building are fleeced out of their pensions by the building’s wealthiest schmuck so they decide to rob him. But they’ll need help. Enter the moment the trailer stops dead in its tracks. You know you’re poison when a perfectly harmless action comedy (even one where Ben Stiller and Matthew Broderick try to keep straight faces while Alan Alda tries to be unlikable), becomes a laughingstock just by inserting your image into the trailer. Guess who, movie fans. It’s your favorite comedian turned least favorite comedian and he ruins everything here:

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr hands out grades to Shrek: The Final Chapter 3D, MacGruber and Human Centipede.

‘Shrek Forever After’ offers conclusive proof that the franchise has run out of steam.

Kevin gives his lukewarm review of the new Shrek movie while Neil shows some 80s action movie love for MacGruber! The Fat Guys also promise to play a listener voice mail, then reneg on that promise (they’re awesome like that), then take a look at the gruesome and controversial Human Centipede.

And it includes suicide! Hilarious!

As the year winds down to a close and with award season is already underway, everyone is looking back on all the fine performances in cinema over 2009. But to truly recall all the great performances, we have to slag through some pretty awful ones.

With Bill Nighy’s claim that he doesn’t like watching himself in movies, I figured I’d take the opportunity to suggest the practice to a few other actors. But it’s not exactly what you think.

Thanks to the Hollywood Insider, we’re almost sure that one of the less-than-generic Wayans brothers, Marlon, will play Richard Pryor in Happy Madison Productions/Sony Pictures’s forthcoming Richard Pryor: Is it Something I Said.