Hollywood turned in its assignments early this week with releases on Wednesday and Thursday. Now Fat Guy Kevin Carr hands out his grades for the latest installment of The Twilight Saga and the big screen adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Squeeeeee! Kevin and Neil run around the Magical Studio in the Sky without their shirts on, desperately trying to shape-shift into a werewolf so they too can be worthy of sickly-looking Bella Swan’s fickle infatuation… yet they still have a better time than they did when they saw The Last Airbender.

Twilight fans (yes, you) rejoice. Your Eclipse is finally upon us, and it is sure to storm through the box office like a tornado through a trailer park. Not even The Last Airbender will be able to control it.

Our resident intellectual Cole Abaius recently volunteered to take on the reading of Stephenie Meyer’s “Twilight” a book (and soon to be film) that is causing quite a stir on the internet. He offers up his thoughts, plus ten tips for guys who are interested in taking the plunge into “Twilight” as well.

After his 30 Days of Night, David Slade gets a shot at creating yet another vampire mythos. Now with romance!

The first Twilight movie isn’t in theaters until next week but that doesn’t appear to be slowing down Summit Entertainment’s commitment to making a few more in the coming years.