Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) believes in fitness – and the American dream and bettering himself and making money and a whole mess of other stuff – but he mainly believes in fitness, and he believes that it is his unique dedication to fitness that will turn him into a success. And, if that doesn’t work, he can always just rob someone. Based on a true story (a claim that gets progressively harder to believe as the film goes on because this stuff is bonkers), Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain centers on the 1990s crime spree committed by Miami’s own “Sun Gym Gang,” one that saw personal trainer Lugo (along with his equally stupid cohorts, Paul Doyle, played by Dwayne Johnson and Adrian Doorbal, played by Anthony Mackie) hatch the brilliant (sarcasm all-around) scheme to trick a gym customer out of everything he owned. What started as a simple plan – kidnap millionaire moron Victor Kershaw (Tony Shalhoub), get him to sign over all his worldly possessions and funds, release him, and enjoy the spoils – goes hilariously, disastrously, and almost immediately awry. Crime does not pay, but crime really does not pay when you’re an evil idiot.

What is Casting Couch? It’s not a fishing program on public access. It’s a place on the Internet to go to hear about actors landing roles. Today we have the latest on The Rock’s upcoming schedule, as well as a new member of the Guardians of the Galaxy. If you weren’t already on board to see a movie where Bill Murray plays a creepy old man who teaches all of his wrong-headed ways to his 12-year-old neighbor, then there’s probably something wrong with you, but St. Vincent De Van Nuys hasn’t given up on you yet. It’s latest strategy to lure you in, which comes after casting Melissa McCarthy and Chris O’Dowd as Murray’s co-stars, is to sign up Naomi Watts in the role of a Russian prostitute who Murray’s character likes to keep company with. That sounds both ridiculous and sexy, which are basically the two best ways anything can be. [Deadline]

Michael Bay‘s wacky true-life passion project, Pain & Gain, is finally set to explode on to our theater screens in a mess of steroids, sweat, tank tops, fire, blood, and greyhounds later this month, and if you’re still unconvinced that this thing is going to be some sort of insane masterpiece, we’ve got a batch of new stills for you to eyeball. This new gallery includes plenty we’ve seen before - Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson looking swoll (as the kids say), Anthony Mackie looking ever-so-slightly dubious, Rebel Wilson looking like she’s having the best time ever, and Tony Shalhoub getting the crap kicked out of him – but it also comes complete with some new stuff, like said greyhound. Seriously, if you came up with a harebrained scheme to knock over a rich guy, wouldn’t you celebrate by buying a new purebred pup? Of course you would. After the break, soak up some roid-laced rays with a fresh look at Pain & Gain and its inherent nuttiness.

Much ado has been made lately about how Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has seen both his own career and the fates of several movie series revived due to the seemingly magical formula of adding him to floundering franchises whose original installments he wasn’t a part of. Yes, due to his involvement in Fast Five pulling that series from the brink of death and his inclusion in G.I. Joe: Retaliation forcing everyone to give that film a chance even though the original was DOA, many in the media have gone as far as to anoint the man as being “franchise Viagra.” Of course, all of those Viagra adds warn us that if our erection lasts for more than 4 hours we should call a doctor, so does that mean that if Johnson’s current momentum leads to 4 or more sequels getting added to a franchise, we should start to become worried? That possible future could be coming sooner than you think, because recent reports make it look like it’s full speed ahead for the Fast & Furious and G.I. Joe franchises.

If you’ve come to Jon M. Chu’s G.I. Joe: Retaliation looking for plot, well, you’ve probably also forgotten what happened the last time we hooked up with America’s elite military force also named after action figures and comic books. While Chu does an admirable enough job cleaning up the mess left behind after 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of COBRA, the latest entry into the saga of the Joes and all their nifty little gadgets doesn’t manage to amount to more than a pile of fun jokes and one show-stopper of an action sequence. This time around, the Joe gang is unexpectedly abandoned and destroyed by the U.S. government, thanks to a president who insists that the Joes (mainly Snake Eyes) are responsible for the assassination of the Pakistani president, which has thrown the country into utter turmoil. What’s left of the team (and, man, is it a scant bunch) must uncover what’s really going on in order to salvage their reputations. Yes, it’s sort of a political thriller. Yes, it’s also just sort of boring.

While the original trailer for Michael Bay’s upcoming project, Pain & Gain, revealed that it was telling a story that was too bizarre not to be true, it didn’t do all that much to actually sell the movie. Sure, Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson playing a couple of insecure meatheads who find themselves in over their heads while planning a heist is an amusing concept, but the trailer seemed to try to sell the film as an aspirational story about struggling characters trying to make their way in the world—and that is not what we go to see Michael Bay movies for. We go to see Michael Bay movies because they’re ridiculous. There’s no need to worry though, because a new red band trailer for Pain & Gain is here, and it reveals that this story of testosterone-soaked goons in silly outfits trying to become elite criminals isn’t being played nearly as dramatically as we may have first feared. This trailer focuses almost exclusively on the film’s comedy, and it turns out there’s a ton of stuff in it to laugh about. Wahlberg is always at his best when he’s playing clueless, and, given his professional wrestling experience, Johnson is presumably at his best when he’s tossing midgets, so this one is allowing both actors to work right in their comfort zones, which seems to have paid off, because their chemistry is palpable. Throw in some strong deliveries from comedic powerhouses like Rebel Wilson and Rob Corddry, and suddenly I’m on

Editors note: this discussion features spoilers for the movie Snitch. Read at your own discretion.  When you sit down to watch a Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson action vehicle like Snitch, you generally expect the film’s crosshairs to be sighted on fictional bad guys, not the real world United States government. But as it turns out, Snitch’s action-film ready “How far would you go to save your son?” conceit is less a narrative gimmick than it is a point of departure to dramatize a social issue. The film isn’t ultimately propelled by the urge to flip semi-trailers but by the desire to criticize the problematic mandatory minimum sentencing laws the government wields to fight the war on drugs. Snitch’s social conscience is the offspring of the activist mandates of Participant Media and the same-named episode of PBS’s Frontline. The investigative report shed condemning light on how some of the United States anti-drug tactics – mandatory minimum sentencing and conspiracy charges – breed an environment where big fish get lighter sentences by informing on smaller (or non) fish. Snitching may be the documentary’s hook, but its core criticism is how in the government’s singular mission to win against drugs, it will unjustly, indiscriminately and indifferently ruin people’s lives to achieve its goals. As one interviewee put it: “It’s no longer about protecting people who are innocent. Now it’s part of the casualties of the drug war.”

Snitch is “inspired by true events.” Which is to say, it centers around a real-life choice mandated by the justice system for prisoners arrested on drug charges: become an informant, or face lengthy jail time. This preface gives the wrong impression though since the characters in this film don’t exactly have real-life counterparts. If they did, well… then they would probably have to be as jacked as Dwayne Johnson. Snitch, directed and co-scripted by former stuntman Ric Roman Waugh, may have cheated somewhat with this veil of supposed truth, but he does succeed in making a consistently entertaining film that certainly delivers with its action sequences and many winning performances from its very strong cast. Unfortunately it also falls short plot-wise, somewhat detracting from its overall action film bravado, and has some pacing issues too thanks to staggered action sequences.

“I’ve watched a lot of movies, Paul, I know what I’m doing!” If you think that the plot of Michael Bay‘s Pain & Gain is insane, or clearly just rooted in action cinema lore, or too damn bizarre to be true, that’s completely understandable – which is why Bay has splashed the film’s first trailer with a big, bold, brazen “THIS IS A TRUE STORY.” Because it is. Don’t believe us? Check out the original Miami New Times report that Bay based his film on. It’s okay. We’ll wait. Now treat yourself to the film’s first trailer after the break. We are so pumped.

When the first trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation hit about a year ago, expectations for the sequel were pretty low. That was due to the first film, G.I. Joe: The Rise of  COBRA, pretty much sucking. But a funny thing happened after everyone saw that trailer for Retaliation : suddenly people were talking about G.I. Joe again. This one didn’t look like a random, terrible action movie that just happened to be called G.I. Joe, it actually looked like an adaptation of the beloved property. That’s a real Cobra Commander mask! And the whole thing looked pretty epic and exciting, too. Mountain-climbing ninja action! There are conflicting reports as to why exactly the film’s release date was pushed back from last summer to this upcoming March 29, 2013. Some say they wanted to add a 3D element to the film, some say that they wanted to add more scenes featuring Channing Tatum – seeing as he became a bigger star almost immediately after this movie stopped filming. Whatever the case may be, Retaliation got pushed back, it is now going to be released as a 3D movie, and this new trailer certainly features more Channing Tatum than the first one (which seemed to be trying to wash him right out of the franchise). Check it out after the break!

Sometimes, Michael Bay‘s balls-to-the-wall, guns-blazing, explosions-popping approach to filmmaking really does work out. And working out in its many forms is at the heart of his new project, the Dwayne Johnson- and Mark Wahlberg-starring Pain & Gain. In case you haven’t quite caught on just yet, Johnson and Wahlberg play body builders in the deranged true-life tale of crime gone buff…and stupid. Seriously, have you read the original Miami New Times report that Bay is basing his film on yet? Do that now. The film’s first poster took a similarly yoked-up approach to the material, so now is perhaps a good time to just get comfortable with seeing guns blazing when it comes to this project. The film also stars Anthony Mackie, Ed Harris, Rob Corddry, Tony Shalhoub, Bar Paly, Rebel Wilson, Ken Jeong, and Yolanthe Cabau. Pain & Gain arrives in theaters on April 26, 2013. [Paramount Pictures]

What would you do if your son was facing a ten-year mandatory minimum drug sentence for a crime he swears he didn’t do? You’d probably make a lot of road trips to the prison with cigarette carton gift baskets over the next decade, but if you’re Dwayne Johnson, you kick everyone’s ass and help Susan Sarandon take down a kingpin. The thing to look for in Snitch will be the stunts. The trailer gives a glimpse of 18-wheeler and fist-fighting action, but director Ric Roman Waugh started out doing stunts for flicks like Lethal Weapon 2, Total Recall (1990) and probably close to a hundred others, so it’ll be exciting to see what he pulls out of the ammunition box. Plus, as hard as it is to believe a former wrestler did this, Johnson has emerged as a truly charismatic, aggressive lead who’s shown some real range. He’s a hell of a lot of fun to watch, especially because he’s believable as a badass, so even in what looks like a straightforward action movie with a slightly unbelievable (yet based on true events!) story, he just might make it shine.

What is Casting Couch? It’s not an actual couch, you guys. Seriously, stop it. Kristen Wiig may have walked away from her regular gig on Saturday Night Live to focus on her film career, but she would be insane to walk away from the chemistry she has with her former SNL cast mate Bill Hader; getting those two together is always a comedy goldmine. And though they’ve appeared together as a big screen duo before, they’ve never really gotten the chance to anchor a film together as the stars. That all changes now! Variety is reporting that the twosome have signed up for an indie comedy called Skeleton Twins, where they will play two estranged twins who reunite after both have near death experiences on the same day. Luke Wilson is also set to appear as Wiig’s husband, a character who is described as being a “nature frat boy,” whatever that means. Regardless, the results are bound to be hilarious.

Michael Bay has stepped away from massive blockbusting in order to get a bit more intimate, but as with all things Bay, even intimacy gets steroids. With a smaller budget and no transforming robots, Pain & Gain tells the story of two body builders – played by Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson – who get caught up in a world of extortion and kidnapping and cooking human hands. What will those Hollywood writers think of next! Oh, and it’s based on a true story. The movie hits theaters April 12, 2013, but it has a poster that will make you fail a urine test. Check out the supplemental one sheet for yourself:

It should be news to no one that a sixth film in the Fast & the Furious franchise is heading into production. The last film, Fast Five, is the highest grossing installment in the series, and regardless of the film’s quality that’s one hell of a feat. Happily, under the guiding hand of director Justin Lin, Fast Five actually managed to be a damn entertaining movie. (Stupid, but entertaining.) Lin is returning to helm the sixth film, and many of the usual suspects are along for the ride including Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson and Fast Five‘s MVP Dwayne Johnson. Previously announced newcomers include the charisma-free Luke Evans (Death Race 2) and Haywire‘s kick-ass leading lady Gina Carano. It’s assumed that both will be playing for the bad guys. If that assumption is correct, they’ve just found themselves a third team member.

The fine folks at Cinema Blend (who follow The Rock on twitter for workout tips and accidentally stumbled on this movie news) are reporting that Dwayne Johnson is working with Joel Silver and director Brad Peyton (Journey 2) to make a movie adaptation of the DC comic “Lobo” happen. The character, created by Roger Slifer and Keith Giffen, is a bounty hunter with a bad attitude meant to be a play on The Punisher and Wolverine. He’s also often blue and might represent a solid challenge/opportunity for some great make-up work. The bottom line though? He’s a brute, and he’s built like a professional wrestler, so it’s fortunate that there’s one out there with some acting chops and personality. This isn’t a new project by any means, but it’s definitely a gutsy one that, if made, would hopefully have the bite necessary to be satisfying. At any rate, can someone get Johnson a fanged skull belt buckle already?

An array of familiar faces flitter in and out of Lorene Scafaria‘s directorial debut. Be it Rob Huebel or Patton Oswalt, they all have a minute or two to shine before the apocalypse strikes the world at play; amongst some of those soon-to-perish characters is Rob Corddry, an actor well-known for bit parts and the “asshole” role. In Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, Warren, played by Corddry, briefly revels in his final days, and in the way we’d hope to see him do onscreen. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World also shares a connection to another film Corddry has coming up: Michael Bay‘s Pain and Gain, based on a true (and insane) story. The doomsday bit isn’t the common thread, but the voices behind them are. Scafaria’s voice is shaping up to be a notable one, as Michael Bay’s is globally known. We’ll see Bay stretch some storyteling muscles the next time out, but, as Corddry tells us, his behind-the-scenes methods remain both the same and beneficial. Here’s wha Rob Corddry had to say about the crux of over-preparing for roles, having no frame of reference in acting school, and why Ed Harris was smashing a lot of phones for Michael Bay:

The Rock is a hype man, born and bred. I guess that’s kind of inevitable when you grow up in a house with a dad and a grandpa who are both professional wrestlers. So any talking up of his film projects the guy does on Twitter should be taken with a grain of salt; he is a carny at heart, after all. Still though, it should be noted that after yesterday’s announcement that G.I. Joe: Retaliation was having its June 2012 release date changed to a March 2013 one (so that it could be converted to 3D) disappointed pretty much everyone else on the planet, The Rock seemed to be the only guy who was enthusiastic about the news. Soon after the story broke, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson took to his Twitter account and had this to say: “Commitment to make GI JOE a massive world event just got bigger. New release 3/29/13. Rock + Ass kickins + 3D = #AwwwwShit” It seems that in Mr. Johnson’s mind, a finished film that’s already been heavily marketed and was  set for release in a little over a month getting pushed back nine more months isn’t a sign that there are serious problems with the finished product, it’s just a sign that the studio is more committed than ever to making sure that it’s the most awesome movie possible. Kind of like how Marvel just gave Iron Man 3 an extra $60 million to play with, only completely backwards.

Well, guess it didn’t look as good as we all thought it did. THR reports (via /Film) that Paramount has decided to push its upcoming G.I. Joe sequel, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, from its summer release date (one that’s barely more than a month away) in favor of a 2013 release date that will afford it less competition at the box office. Oh, and what’s that? Yeah, they’re also post-converting the Jon Chu-directed movie to 3D. Ugh. The film, once set to open on June 29, 2012, will now open on March 29, 2013. The film stars Dwayne Johnson, Channing Tatum, Bruce Willis, Adrianne Palicki, D.J. Cotrona, Byung-hun Lee, Ray Park, RZA, Joseph Mazzello, Elodie Yung, and Walton Goggins and, despite following the money-making but underwhelming G.I. Joe: The Rise of COBRA, has long looked promising. While an unexpected post-conversion 3D job rarely instills confidence in people, announcing one when the film was set to open in just over a month is quite shocking.

There are few things in life that say ‘Do-Over’ more than killing off almost all of your main cast in the opening moments of your movie. It’s an apology with a thousand rounds of ammo and tactical missiles. The new G.I. Joe: Retaliation trailer wastes no time in wiping the slate clean so that Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis can add some more muscle to the franchise. Of course, it also helps that Jon M. Chu has subbed in for Stephen Sommers and the pair behind Zombieland, Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, tagged in as screenwriters. So, yes. The slate is clean. Now it’s time to blow it up. Simply put, this trailer is explosive.